Ray of Hope
by TaisaXChui
Summary: Post-Shamballa;The Elrics are together in a country called Germany and Mustang has returned to Central with his dreams. Things would've been better compared to how it used to except for one thing:Riza Hawkeye disappears, possibly triggering a redo of chaos between the two worlds. Now comrades trapped in their own worlds must work together to bring her back while secrets are dug.
1. the return and the disappearance

**A/N: my alternate ending and er…sequel to the movie Conqueror of Shamballa. Ah, screw it. I don't know what I'm doing. I'm attempting the impossible (for me)! If this does not turn out good, I'm stopping this story. **_**Disclaimer: I do not own FMA**_

* * *

Central was, at first, not in good state. A sudden attack had befallen them. But when they thought they were about to lose, the Flame alchemist suddenly resurfaces for their aid. The tables are immediately turned and victory is now on their side.

Edward was able to sneak in while Roy distracts Eckhart. When her attacks stopped, he assumed that Ed was already fighting her and he let Alphonse follow his brother. For a moment, he glanced down to see how Central had been when he was gone and he saw how battered the place looks. There were bloods in the streets as soldiers battled with the armours containing live people sent by the sudden invaders. Whoever had planned this attack on them was certainly cruel, giving no regard for the amount of lives that will be killed, even the lives of their own battalion. The thought of soldiers made him think about his subordinates. Surely they were just doing fine? One of them was just chasing him moments ago. Hawkeye, his most loyal and trusted subordinate, was begging to come with him. No, he would not let her come. He left her for her safety that is why he fought and flew on his own.

* * *

The return of col. Mustang was supposed to relieve her. But the sight of him flying upwards towards danger all by himself was horrifying for her. She tried to run to him but she knew it was no use. He does not need her now.

And Riza was unable to follow him even from just the ground. She wanted to go to him and she felt danger would soon come. But Armstrong was with her. He would not let her go there saying it would be dangerous. Hell, she doesn't care so long as Roy is safe. _I'm not going to fail from protecting him again…_

"Major! Someone needs help there!" she pointed at the muscular man's left. Armstrong turned and ran to the said direction.

"Then let us help!" he bellowed, sprinting towards wherever it was, thinking that Hawkeye was following.

Instead, the sniper was running on the opposite direction. _Now's not the time to act like an obedient subordinate. _She looked up to see the rocket where Ed, Al and Roy just went. But when she got nearer, one armour stood up holding something big and suspiciously odd looking thing and was about to throw it upwards. Towards the place where her superior is and with two other people she cared about too. Swiftly, she pulled out her rifle and began firing at it, making it stop. But her hands were shaking too much she could not aim properly. The person in the armour ignored her and she saw that he was about to throw what he was holding again. Riza dropped her weapon and launched herself at the thing. The armoured man fell back as she clutched the object by her stomach, squeezing it between herself and the ground. Her suspicion turned out to be true. What she was holding right now is a bomb waiting to explode.

* * *

The rocket started to sway as the vertical bridge that the brothers made crumbled. He turned to see Ed and Al emerges, looking safe and unscathed. Alphonse was already by Mustang's side but his brother remained standing by the entrance of the rocket.

"Fullmetal…?" Roy called. He can tell that the boy was planning something.

He clapped his hands together and splits up the floor with a fine line. "With that much material, you guys can make it."

"Brother? Brother!" Al starts to run towards him only to be stopped by Roy.

"Where are you going?" Roy asked with a trembling Al in his clutches.

"I'm returning all of these guys beyond the gate."

"You don't have to go too!" Al cried.

"Al, you destroy that gate too so the path will never open again." Ed said trying to hide the pain in the edge of his voice. It would be difficult for him to leave since he had been working so hard to return to his home country but he had to. After all, he thinks it was his fault this city was almost destroyed. He turns to leave but Al said something that made him stop. "What are you going to do with Winry?"

Ed forces a smile as he raises his automail. "Tell her that I said thanks for this."

Al cries desperately but Ed already had his back on them, re-entering the rocket as the floor finally divides to two. Al began to trash, trying to go to Ed but Colonel Mustang stopped him as the gap from them and the rocket began to grow.

"Colonel, please…" Al begged. "I want to be with my brother!" Roy only looks at the boy, weighing which right decision he should make. And he knows well enough that the brothers are always together. "Look… if I come with brother you can still destroy the gate!" that's true, Roy thought. Finally, he decided to let him go.

Al ran to the edge when he suddenly stopped. Roy began to think that it was too late for him to jump when the kid turned to him. "Thank you." And he leapt across.

* * *

The bomb will surely blow off any second now but Riza has no intention of letting it go. _I'll give my life if it's for them._ Before it detonated, she opened her eyes wondering what the last thing she will see. And saw that there is a chalk drawn circle surrounding her…

_A transmutation circle?_

* * *

The rocket was already flying away with the brothers and Roy was left with a raised hand (a gesture of farewell) as the piece of ground that he was standing on began to descend_. _While he was descending, he could not shake off a sinking feeling that kept bothering him_. _As he skimmed downwards, a small (from his view) explosion blew a few feet below him. When he neared the ground, to his horror, there was blood scattered on the area of explosion almost in a circular shape. Surprisingly, the centre of it, where the source of the explosion must have burst, had less blood compared to the circle's border.

Before he could even get a closer look, people began to run to him in cries of happiness and thanks. They pulled him as they crowded around him, slapping his back and shaking his hands. He was not sure what to feel but when he scanned the people around him in search of the familiar face that he has wanted so long to see, the feeling of disappointment surfaced in him. She was nowhere in his sight and it made Roy feel more anxious. He glanced by his shoulders to see the place of the explosion but soldiers, including Major Armstrong, were huddled around it talking but Roy could not hear it and he could see that they were looking sad.

"Major… what happened here?" Roy reached Armstrong when the attention he'd earned earlier disappeared. The man did not reply, unable to look at him.

"And… where is Hawkeye?" he added when one of the soldiers replied.

"You see, sir…That's the problem."

* * *

**A/N: O_o it wasn't that bad, was it? Was it? My first multi-chaptered fic! =_=!**

**I'm exaggerating….**


	2. hope beyond despair

**A/N: And here we reveal what happens…duh, it's chapter two! We can't stay in the shadows forever! Reviews? At least just say if it's good or bad. TvT I appreciate it. but… argh! I think this chapter stinks, no?**

**P.S.: I want to thank [insert user name here] for the review (very much! TvT). So here's chapter two~**

_**Hope against hope.**_

_Most hope is false if you think about it_

_It's a belief that an outcome will be positive despite evidence to the contrary._

_But where would we be without it?_

_It's the mind's compass and the heart's buoy, which we cling to as we wait for help to arrive._

XxX~ [hope beyond despair]

Major Alex Armstrong can see the color draining from Mustang's face as he recalls the time when he last saw his aide. Pausing more than twice, he continued.

"…she yelled about someone needing help… so I went to it but I didn't know that she went to you instead. Since you and the brothers were in the air, she could only protect you from the ground. And when I turned around, she was on the floor so I rushed to help her… Turns out she was covering a bomb. That's when I was blasted off my feet. It was too powerful for…" he paused again, clearly close to tears. "For her to…"

He was unable to continue this time and started to sob quietly. Mustang just stared wide eyed at his feet in silence, too shocked to know what to do. Thoughts were coursing in his head in a speed too fast it was impossible to think clearly. The thought of Hawkeye possibly dead was too much for him to believe. He wanted to search for questions that should counter the idea, hoping against hope that what he had heard was false information. _She can't be dead… where's her body then?_ But another thought contradicts it. _She may have been blown to pieces. _Just thinking about it made his heart drop. He swallows the lump in his throat as he turns away, fighting the tears that were threatening to come. He wanted to be on his own since things had happened so quickly. Besides, he was uncertain how long he would be able to hold the rain. He walks away from them, ignoring the people around him who were beginning to rebuild their lives.

~XxX~

"How on earth did she get here? Why would she want to be here anyway?" Ed asked, almost yelling in bewilderment.

"Keep it down, brother." Al told him when they got back to the place called London and found a new and another familiar face. "We don't know what happened yet so we'll ask her when she wakes up. And I don't think she's aware that there is this place. Besides, I can't think of a reason why she'd want to be here."

"I found her outside and she was bloody so I took her here. If I hadn't then she would have died of blood loss." Gracia replied in a worried tone.

"She's gonna be okay, right?" Al asked when Hughes piped in.

"Maybe she's a gypsy!" he exclaimed, raising his index finger.

"How many times do I have to tell you she's _not_!" Ed barked at the man. "_She _is from our world. And we don't know how she got here. There's a possibility that we have another chance to get back. She doesn't do alchemy so maybe there's another way."

"I'll check her." Hughes said and walked away.

Her head was aching and her body felt heavy. Moving was painful for her so she forced her eyes to open. She could see she was lying on a bed and it looked like an ordinary bedroom. Then she saw someone walk in; A familiar face that she had not seen for a long time.

"Too simple for heaven. Can't be hell…" she whispered to herself. The man must have seen that she was awake now for he stepped closer.

"What about…Alfons?" she heard a familiar voice say somewhere outside the room. She is certain it belongs to Edward.

"He will be buried this afternoon." A sad female voice replied.

Her attention returned to the man in the room. "Hughes…?" she whispered but the man heard her.

The man jumped suddenly and he flattened his back on the wall. "H-how did you know my name? We haven't even met!" he yelped in alarm.

_Haven't even met? _She thought, confused. Then she heard Edward talk again.

"What's that? The lieutenant must be awake now." Then footsteps… the door swings open to reveal two blond boys and a woman behind them.

Riza tried to sit up but winced and fell back as Ed rushed to her side.

"Are you alright?" he asked, helping her lay back.

"Don't tell me you're going to say that we haven't even met too…" she murmured but the kid heard her and laughed.

"Don't worry. We are both Amestrians."

"Oh… where are we?"

"Beyond the gate. At some place called London." He saw that she still looked confused so he added, "In another world different from ours where alchemy doesn't exist. I've been stuck here ever since I transmuted Al back."

"But then…why are you here again? Weren't you able to go back? The two of you were in Central the last time I saw you."

Ed shrugged. "Well…it was my fault they attacked Central. So I have to go bring them back to where they came from."

Riza relaxes in the bed with a sigh, suddenly feeling tired. "Can't you go back? They miss you there you know."

The unable-to-do-alchemy alchemist was looking at her hopefully anticipating that she knows the answer to her own question. But her silence told him she doesn't so he answers, "We're still searching for the answer there."

The woman smiles ruefully. "Sorry for bombarding you with questions." She apologized but the boy waved it off, knowing she was still baffled after being unconscious and waking in a different world.

"Speaking of questions, can we ask you why you're all bloody? Did you get attacked by them?"

"Yes and no." she replies. "A bomb was going to be thrown to where the three of you were so I took it."

Riza could not help but smile at their reaction as they grasp what happened next to her. Al and Ed's eyes were widening and the two other adults in the room looked shaken.

"You sacrificed your life?" the woman who had been quiet and only listened gasped. "What bravery! But you could have died!"

Stunned, Riza watched as the woman realized her outburst. After murmuring "_Oh, I'm sorry._" She introduced herself.

"How rude of me. My name is Gracia." She said, offering her hand as Riza shakes it.

"I am Riza Hawkeye; it's nice to meet you."

Hughes, who was watching, still had an are-you-sure-she's-not-a-gypsy look until the blonde woman turns to him. He exhaled and they shook hands.

"Maes Hughes." He said and he thought he saw an amused smile momentarily cross her lips as she gave him an appreciative nod.

"Riza Hawkeye, sir." _I wonder how Roy would react if he sees his best friend's double._

"Sir?" _Okay. This woman knows a tad too much about me! She might be a spy. Sorry but I already have my Gracia. _"How did you know that I'm an officer?"

Gracia suddenly covers her mouth as if to suppress a giggle and Edward looked exasperated. Riza only smiled as she points at his uniform.

Anyone in Hughes' place would have been embarrassed but the man looked happy. _Gracia! She laughed! ~_ He thought pleasantly.

"How did you get here, lt.? you were unconscious_ and_ bloody when…Gracia-san found you." Al asked.

The smile on Riza's face slightly drops as she lowers her head. "The last thing I remember was when I was lying with the explosive, waiting for it to blow off…" she murmurs although the brothers looked hopeful, she didn't want to break their faith since she really had no idea. "I'm sorry. I really don't know…"

Ed could see that the woman was having difficulties for her situation. He may want to know what happened during those years when he was not in his country and he wanted to ask her. But he can see that the sudden turn of events was hard for the injured lieutenant so he decided that it can wait. Maybe, just maybe, she can mention something that might help them get back and he would investigate about it while she recovers. At least that saves them time. He can only hope she would remember nevertheless anything, even the smallest of detail that can possibly a chance for them. But it seems that the questions and answers have to wait.

That was what he thought…until Hawkeye suddenly raised her head as if recalling something.

She turned to him, a flicker of hope alighting within Ed and Al. "I think I remember…seeing a transmutation circle around me. Or I was inside of it." she smiled sadly as she lowers her head. "I'm sorry. That's the last thing I saw before I woke up here."

She was thinking that she, the brothers' remaining hope, had failed them. But Edward didn't look dissatisfied.

He was wearing a triumphant smile.

"That is a very big help, lieutenant."

~XxX~

Guilt shook him through-out his body and mind and Roy was blaming himself that it wouldn't have happened if he was not so selfish. He only wanted to protect her but no matter what, it always turned out that it would be her protecting him and not the other way around. And he could not imagine how things had turned out this badly. He was just strolling down the headquarters while snapping and yelling out orders. Then he was fighting them with Hawkeye and in less than a minute, he was already leaving her and flying away, eyes meeting in a fleeting split second. That was the last time he saw her and he was pleading a God, if there was any, that it would _not_ be their last meeting.

He paced around his room, every step he took was adding remorse inside him. Reality has been cruel to him lately and he wanted to be sure if what he had just heard is real. He couldn't just sulk around if there is still a chance that she's alive. The thought made a small hope flare in him. Small, yes…but there is still hope.

**A/N: sorry if it took me long to update. I was working on another story which I also hope I can finish (it's royai =D but… not so happy…?). And man, this chapter talks a lot about hope! Well…**_**mentions**_** hope.**


	3. discovering and recovering

**A/N: sorry about the previous chapter. I wasn't able to edit it. Also thank you for those who reviewed. I'd like to point out, in case I wrote **_**London**_** that it was supposed to be Germany; the other world where Ed went when he crossed the gate.**

* * *

_I will do anything_

_To bring you_

_Back…_

* * *

_Was it successful?_ A man wondered as he walked down the busy street of Germany with two of his men. _Soon, I shall know…_ he couldn't help but smile, remembering Eckheart's failed attempt of conquer to this place she called Shamballa. It was just too bad since she almost won the battle. She was in the brink of victory on destroying the _other world_ but he could not imagine what-or rather who-appeared in the last minute that saved the day. _But it doesn't matter. Her plan was great but she failed because she did not take time to plan it more thoroughly. _He smiled sneakily, one which his men or anyone around would not notice… a smile that promises _his_ victory._ Now it is my turn to take action. But this time…it will be a success._

* * *

Noa's mind was preoccupied that she almost got lost since she was thinking too deeply. She was on her way back home from the market… home. She was not sure what to call it but she had grown fond of living there. She sighs heavily. Too many things had happened and she was not sure what to feel. Her emotions were being mixed like sadness over Alfons' death, joy on Ed's return, sympathy that he wasn't able to stay in his home country, and a budding curiosity at his re-emergence with a boy that is surprisingly alike, both in name and personality, with Alfons. And also the appearance of a mysterious woman whom Edward said is his fellowman. What more will the day show her?

With a startled _oof!_, she got her answer. Too lost in her thoughts, she bumped on someone and returned to her senses when she fell on her back. She glanced up and saw a man with long, wavy brown hair turn around to look at her with his grey eyes. Their physical contact lasted no longer than a second but Noa saw something she didn't quite like.

"A gypsy." One of the men near him said in a belittling tone.

Her eyes were wide as she hastily jumped on her feet and ran away without either of them apologizing. She did not run away because they had called her a gypsy. She was used to it anyway. But what made her terrified was what she saw the second she got in contact with the man. She saw a vision that she couldn't quite put but it certainly scared her, whatever it was.

_What in the world is happening?_

* * *

His grey eyes watched her run away before turning back on his way. He was certain that she was the girl that Eckheart used to gain information on opening some gate. She has a power but he doesn't need it. His plan was going smoothly without her help.

* * *

Roy Mustang was not a man of waiting; especially if it has anything to do with his subordinates. If he knows that they're in danger, he wouldn't just sit around and wait for them to ask for his help, no. They are one family and he is the leader. He would risk his life for his family if he had to and he would do anything to keep them safe.

And that was what he was planning to do with Hawkeye.

If he had to admit it, he cares for her the most. In his return, he was wishing to see her. And he did. He just _saw_ her. _Saw__. _He doesn't mean it that way of course. He wanted to be with her again. But just when he saw her again, he didn't know that it would the last.

He managed to get to the place where Riza was last seen and he was planning to investigate it. But what he found there was utterly unexpected. He asked for Major Armstrong and he wanted some answer.

"Has this circle been here before?"

"Circle?" the muscular man sounded puzzled.

Roy knelt down to see it closer. Unquestionably, there is indeed a chalk drawn circle. It was big enough for a full grown man to lie inside it. He followed the circle until he returned to his previous spot. In a closer observation, he saw alchemical symbols and he nearly fell back as realization hit him.

_It's a transmutation circle! What the hell is it doing here and what does it do?_ It was surprising that it was still visible what with the amount of dried blood that could've erased it. Armstrong looked stunned when he also realized it.

"Indeed! There is a transmutation circle here." Armstrong said, also wondering what it could possibly do.

Questions that begged for answers began to course in his head after this discovery. But one thing is certain; There is a chance that Hawkeye is alive somewhere.

Ever since his return, he let one emotion flood inside him: determination to study the mystery and bring her-them-back. He would solve this puzzle no matter what if it meant the key to finding them.

Soon that day, he was marching to Central library with his copy of the newly discovered circle.

After all, alchemists are people who search for answers.

* * *

"Edward?"

The said boy turned to the woman in the bed as he and Alphonse prepared to leave for Alfons' funeral

"I should come too. It's already rude of me to be here without even paying my respects." Riza told him.

"No, I'm sure Al wouldn't mind. And you're injured and recovering so it's better if you stay." He smiled, trying to assure her.

Riza opened her mouth to protest when Noa burst in the room looking as if she'd run a marathon

"Noa, what happened? You look tired." Ed asked her.

Puffing, she shakes her head saying, "Nothing. Nothing happened."

"You look exhausted." Al said.

Riza watched the girl quietly with mild interest and they caught eye contact.

"She's awake…" was all the brown haired girl said.

"Noa, she is Lieutenant Riza Hawkeye." Ed told her. Riza nods curtly at Noa with a smile and there was a sudden shift of emotion that Noa felt towards her. She knew she was in no position to judge her but at first she felt doubtful of the woman, thinking that when she wakes up she'd be treating her too like a thief or a street rat like how people outside treated her. But the moment their eyes met, Noa had the feeling that she was wrong. She saw that the woman has the same kind eyes that Gracia, Ed, Al, and the second Al (she has to get used to knowing two Als) has.

She hesitated to take Riza's outstretched hand but the warm, comforting smile she was giving her made her give in.

"Riza Hawkeye."

"Noa…" she quietly told her, hand still grasping hers. "It's nice to meet you."

Ed looked at them with amusement in his eyes as he watched Noa take the lieutenant's hand. When they get back from the funeral, he has an urge to ask Noa something.

* * *

**A/N: Yo! How am I doing so far? I have no idea why I'm doing this and it's kinda messed up. And hell, there's a new character. What's with the title?**


	4. in the same boat

**A/N: I'm not good at this, I have low confidence, and here I am making chapter 4. **

**(Try to) Enjoy!**

* * *

"_I am certain that the way Winry_

_Felt about my disappearance_

_Is the same with_

_These two"_

* * *

"Chief, I heard the news. Is she really…" Havoc trailed off, certain that they know well enough what he wanted to tell. After he and the rest of the team had heard of what happened to the lieutenant, they were apparently shocked and disbelieving at the point that they wanted to just laugh it off. If it has been hard for them to take it in, what more will it be to the man she has been closest with? After their worried search for their superior, they found him in Central library with an unreadable expression, absorbed in fiddling with the books around him. His being unemotional at the time made them more worried for him.

When he got no response, Havoc and his fellow subordinates confirmed their fears.

"Colonel-"

"A transmutation circle…" Roy said suddenly.

The men around him were confused. "A transmutation… circle?" they repeated. Then something struck them.

"Sir, you're not planning to do human transmutation are you?" they blurted out altogether.

The librarian who was fixing the books that fell on the floor glared at them.

"We found a circle on the explosion site. Exactly where she was last seen. There is a possibility that she is alive somewhere but… she might also be not." Roy said without looking up at them.

"She's… alive?" Fuery whispered, relief flooding inside him. It was just a possibility but enough to let them breathe more easily. They were glad the Colonel was searching for her instead of thinking about death. It was just too bad that when the colonel has returned, the one person who was badly worried about him, though she may not outwardly show it, was missing, or worse… even dead.

Their expression seemed to have brightened when their superior glanced at them with his serious look. But they saw determination and hope burning in his eyes. All of them knew that the colonel cared for his lieutenant as much as she cared for him even though they only seem to have a superior-subordinate relationship. And that he would do everything to find her.

He hoped there was at least something they could do.

* * *

It was after the funeral when Ed came back to check on Hawkeye. He had been so curious about what had happened to his, their world while he was away. Although Al already told him a few things (mostly about his search for him and training), Ed wanted to hear other news from other people. One of the things he wanted to know was about Colonel Mustang. How he got that eye patch, what he had been doing when Ed was gone, How Winry was able to hardly cope up in his absence, and a whole lot of other things that they knew but he still hadn't. But every time he tries to ask the Lieutenant, she was always looking distant. Especially when the subject, or even the mere mention of the colonel would be able to make her weak smile slowly melt. Her sudden drop of mood was unnoticeable to anyone but Ed easily saw through it. What exactly had happened that the mere mention of Mustang became such a sensitive subject to her?

And that was the reason that he had the nerve to just ask Noa about.

But he had to check on Hawkeye first.

"How are you doing, lieutenant?" he asked, trying to be cheerful. "feeling better?"

The woman looked up at him as he sat at the chair next to her. She forced a smile despite her weak body and sorrowful eyes just to try not to worry the boy.

"Just call me Riza, Ed. I'm not a soldier here." She replied softly, "and yes, thank you. I'm feeling better now. I have to thank Miss Gracia when I see her."

"Yeah…" Ed chuckled nervously, thinking about when the right moment would be to ask her "We're lucky she found you or something bad might have already happened to you."

Riza nodded. "She saved me. I could have died if she hadn't…" her smile remained on her face but her eyes dropped to her lap. "I'm sorry if I couldn't be of much help to you. I couldn't even give you enough information so you two can get back to Amestris."

"_We_ will go back to Amestris. Including _you._" Ed corrected her. But this time, he gave off a real, hearty laugh. "And how many times should I tell you that you shouldn't blame yourself since you just told us a very valuable information that will help us find a way back?"

She just smiled at this and said, "You two really have to get back home. There are people waiting for you."

"That's why you're coming home with us, of course! I'm sure someone's waiting for you too."

Riza's head quietly dropped down as her face gets concealed with her hair, her small smile vanishing completely. "I don't think so." She whispered mostly to herself.

"Hm?" Ed heard her murmur something but didn't seem to catch it.

She faced him with a huge smile, becoming cheerful all of a sudden. "Yes, I'm sure we'll get back."

The blond boy before her looked at her with eyes a little wide, noticing her mood changes. He heard what she whispered but wasn't sure if it was right. She seemed a bit poignant these past days, he and Al kept noticing, no matter how hard she tried to look happy.

He leaned in his chair, fully aware something was bothering the woman. He had to know what. What has happened during those days when he was gone that he still wasn't aware of. For one thing, the colonel seems to have something to do with it. Or maybe it really was about the colonel? If he has to know the answer then he had to stop messing around the bush and get to the point. His problem was just how to ask it delicately.

Riza Hawkeye has the feeling that the brothers had been aware of her emotional state. Now, she was only waiting for the time when they would ask her what was wrong. And she has the feeling that that time would be by… now.

"Miss Riza… may I ask you something?"

He was looking at her with a serious face. He wanted to know, Riza thought. Badly. She has been expecting that. She has to tell them since they have every right to know. Besides, how can she refuse that look?

She was aware that he would ask that, Ed thought. There was little to no surprise on her features. Her mask of a smile began to melt again slowly and her eyes start to become distant as she gazed at her hands. "What is it?"

Ed swallows, thinking his words carefully. "What happened back there while I was gone?"

"Tons of things, Ed." She began monotonously, "I heard all the homunculi were dead, and the… colonel succeeded on defeating King Bradley. He was killed and so was his son. The colonel was unable to save the child and became very depressed at it. He was badly injured then. You saw his eye patch. Then the parliament took over… and after he recovered… he left and worked by the north on his own while we were left sorting a whole lot of things back in Central."

Edward was a little surprised that she really told him those even though it seems like she did not want to talk about it and had said all that and remained calm as if telling an unknown fantasy story like she herself had not understood its plot. _So the colonel left? I suppose that was why she's been down then._

"He left just a month after he defeated Bradley and when you disappeared. He was worried about you. And so were we. We thought you were dead but…" she looked at his eyes and he saw that there was a tinge of joy in hers. Ed nodded, getting her point and she continued, "And after almost half a year after that, those armors appeared and that's when we saw you back. I guess he heard about it since he also re appeared after disappearing for so long."

_Wow. Things sure had been hard for the lieutenant._ Ed thought grudgingly. _I guess I'm really not the only one having a rough time._ He didn't realize that his mouth was open until the adult before him spoke.

"Edward?" she said, concern in her voice. "Is there something else you want to know?"

"Uhh… no." Ed pondered for a moment before daring to ask her. "Actually yes…"

Riza nods, urging him to tell her.

Without hesitation, he asked straightforwardly, "Have you been okay during those months when the colonel wasn't with you?"

To anyone who didn't really know Riza, it would appear like she was just wearing an unchanging poker face. Her expression remained blank but Ed saw her eyes broaden slightly, the question completely taking her off guard. He was thinking that the way Riza felt about Roy's disappearance would be the same with him and Winry. It took her a while to answer and when she did, Ed found her reply quite unbelievable.

"Yes."

* * *

Winry kept wondering why she had to be alone. Why the people she cares about has to disappear from her just when she thought that everything would be alright now.

She walks away from the ruins, remembering the pain she felt while watching the rocket drift away… How Ed and Al drifted away from her. Maybe one day Den and granny would disappear too. Her parents, Mr. Hughes,… and now those two people that were brothers to her? Well… she may have felt something special with Ed… but her point is why they had to be away from her. She is lonely again.

Uncertain as to where else to go, she found herself walking towards the cemetery. A visit to Mr. Hughes might at least help her.

It turns out Mr. Hughes wouldn't be her only company there.

* * *

A girl around fifteen watched in silence as her master talked to his servants about something that sounded very important. And it involves some kind of magic. Like… what was that? Alchemy was it? She'd never heard of such a thing but her master was prone to mentioning it.

"The circle worked. It has brought over someone here from the other world." He says quietly.

"Who is it? Will that person be able to lead us to this… world you speak of?" one of his men asked.

Their master's cold grey eyes narrowed as he stated calmly, "Most probably… I believe that whoever it is will be useful once we cross to their world." _If the people in there knows her then she could be used as hostage. Then that would be her use aside from giving us the tour and information._

"Then we should find this person." The deep voice of one of his guards said. "Do you know who?"

"I believe I do." He replied in his unchanging calm tone. "But I will be the one to come to her."

"_Her?_" the girl finally spoke, her curly yellow hair bouncing. "She's a _girl_?"

"Yes."

"Oh…"

The man with long, wavy brown hair, around his twenties, has a handsome face, wise grey eyes and always calm, was their leader. He gazed at the girl and waited if she had anything else to say but hearing none, turned back to his subordinates.

"I don't want any of you making moves on your own." He plainly told them. "I can do it myself."

He turned around and left, meaning the end of their discussion.

* * *

**A/N: was that quick or what? It ****kinda ****stinks to me but I'm hoping that the later chapters will get a bit better.**


	5. alone again Or not

"_It's almost like the world_

_Just wouldn't let us_

_Be together_

_Again…"_

* * *

When they finished destroying the gate, Ed and Alphonse were not expecting to find another gate to show up in his return. And with it came Hawkeye coated in her own blood. Deciphering the circle was also no piece of cake to him and Al. It was so complicated that they were slowly losing hope. It wasn't like there were books about alchemy in a world where it doesn't even exist.

A whole week since she was found, Riza had been recovering in a steady pace and she was finally allowed to get out of her bed and walk. Though her physical wounds were mostly cured, Ed was worried of her emotional health since it was still yet to heal. He and Al kept noticing that she frequently wears that distant look and sentimental eyes and every time they ask if something was bothering her, she would put her cheerful mask on and simply say that nothing is. She was selfish when it comes to her problems that was why he had always felt that she was having her own internal battle with which she fights her own demons alone and just gets very close to checkmate.

He looks up from his paper and pen of research to watch Riza carefully walk with her hand on the wall for support towards Gracia's flower shop. When Noa steps in in time to see her, she assists her outside and takes her to Gracia who looked especially pleased to see them.

They were still in his range of sight but he couldn't hear them so he assumes by their gestures that Riza was smiling at Noa, thanked her, and apologized for the trouble.

The girl kindly shakes her head and returns the smile before retreating back to the house.

She walked back in and noticed that Ed has been watching them as their eyes catch contact. He must have been very concerned with Miss Hawkeye.

"Ed?" she spoke. "Have you found anything about the circle?"

He sadly shook his head. "Not yet. All I know is that there are a few similarities with Eckheart's transmutation circle and the one that we found." He looked down on his paper and points at the drawn symbols as he talked. "I suppose the similar symbols represent the two different dimensions that will be opened once it was activated." He fell in a short, pondering silence before he talked again with his shoulders drooping down. "I tried to do it but… alchemy just won't work here. It's really a mystery how the lieutenant got here with it and she doesn't even do alchemy! Unless," his voice dropped, "someone else did it."

"Well," she gave him an encouraging smile before proceeding to the stairs. "I wish you good luck."

She was half-way from reaching the top end of the staircase when Ed spoke.

"Noa, can I ask you something?"

* * *

"Mustang-san…"

Quiet wind blew and the flowers on her hands swayed. There was also a bouquet of irises sitting on the grave of Mr Hughes, dancing along the wind.

The raven haired man turned to her, his dark locks flying around his face. And beyond the abrupt stillness of the air was a whirlwind of indescribable emotions.

None of them spoke for a while for no words were formed to say, no greeting was appropriate, and even a 'good morning' was technically out of place when the past events were far from good.

He moved aside to let the girl put her flowers down and when she stood up, there was a short moment of mourning silence. In the corner of her eyes, Winry could see his pallid figure. His ashen poker face was hiding so many conflicting emotions mostly pain and regret, and his eyes were distant as if recalling bittersweet memories. And she knew she wasn't the only one having a hard time.

"How have you been, Mr Mustang?" she was the one to first break the silence. _Is that needed to be asked? _She slapped herself mentally, _he obviously looks depressed!_

His eyes snapped back to reality at the sound of her voice and tried to reply normally but his voice cracked, betraying him. "Wha-? I'm sorry…" he sighed, trying to think of a better response but none came. "I'm just… looking for answers."

"Answers?" she looked at him with concern. _He's been through a lot._

He nodded as he struggled to regain his voice. "You see… Edward wanted to thank you."

_Edward? _"Thank me?" God, she felt stupid! He was trying to comfort her when he was obviously the one who needed it more. But if she had to be honest, the mention of Ed wanting to thank her made a bubble of joy in her heart. Only to remember that he might never return to her again, thus popping the new found joy.

She stole another glance at Roy and had the feeling that there were many things that both of them wanted to say but hesitated to tell the other. For certain, she knew both of them needed comfort at times of loss and trouble. She wants to know what she still doesn't know and she wanted to help if she can. In order to do that, she wants to know what first.

"Mr Mustang, what else happened in Central?" she asked, looking ahead. For a while, the man hesitated to answer but knew she has the right to know. His only problem was just where to start.

"Well… Hawkeye disappeared… or is probably dead in some place." Was his flat retort but she heard his voice quiver at a certain word.

Winry looked at him fully in shock this time. Her mouth was open for questions and Roy decided to explain.

"Major Armstrong reported to have seen her cover a bomb in an attempt to save the brothers and me while we were in battle. But we found something… unexplainable on the… explosion site. A circle of some sort that might have either saved her or possibly did nothing while the bomb blew off. A transmutation circle. And I'm currently, as I have said, searching for answers."

After that being said, Winry managed to close her previously open mouth but was having problems swallowing what she had just heard. She stole a quick, worried glance at Roy, feeling sorrier than ever. He came back to his worried subordinates after vanishing for quite a long time but the one person that he wanted to be with again and the one who wanted to see him so much was the one to disappear in his return._ Just when we thought everything was back to normal again and we can finally be with them after years of waiting, they slip from our grasp suddenly once more, unable to stay close to them for even just a whole single day_. _I guess… both of us just keep losing those important to us._

"I'm-I'm sorry…" she whispered sincerely and in the corner of her eyes, she glimpsed a small, rueful smile cross his face. Silence followed for they were too absorbed in bearing the cruelty of events. For the second time, Winry was the first to break it after a while as if she was thinking out loud.

"Why is it that the one person that we desperately wish to be with again fades away when we think they can now be finally able to go back to us? It's almost like the world just wouldn't let us be together again."

For a second, Roy saw Winry's face contort into an expression of anguish as she noted her words with bitterness, the corners of her mouth twitching upwards in contempt.

Slowly, she turned to look at him with questioning eyes.

"What did we do to deserve this?" her voice was full of pain as she spoke unlike Roy's almost monotone due to suppressing his own, very same pain. "What did we do to lose the one thing most important to us?"

Roy merely gazed back at her with such quiet understanding and calmness that masked the shadows of suffering in his visible eye. He didn't need to ask. He had thought of the same thing for a long time now. And he had been feeling the same anguish that this girl has. Although he couldn't avoid but feel that his wound was a deeper cut than hers. He just couldn't let it show on his face. Years of experiencing grief, mostly due to the Ishval war and Hughes' death had let him learn to cover all those behind his veil of impassiveness. Only one person was always able to see through it.

"None of this is your fault, Ms Rockbell." He stated calmly and Winry can hear sincerity and self-blame in his voice and see it in his visible, clouded black eyes. She noticed him clench his hands. "But I did something for certain for me to deserve this."

"Mr Mustang…" all the misery left her replaced by sympathy for them both, especially for this man who blames himself responsible. She can't blame him, no. She knows it wasn't his fault.

For now, they need their strength. And if he's giving his all for the person he loves, then she'd do the same for Ed.

"Mr Mustang, I want to help."

* * *

_Knock knock…_

Riza was about to reach for the door when someone knocked. She stepped back in time Gracia opened it.

"Dear, you're up! Have you eaten yet?"

"Yes, thank you. I just want to walk outside." She replied. "I want to get moving to get my body back the way it used to after staying in bed for quite a long time."

"Would you like me to accompany you? It's pretty dangerous to walk out there by yourself."

"No, I'll be okay. Thank you."

"Be careful." She moved aside as Riza exited the house.

* * *

Even in broad daylight, Riza sauntered in silence in the gloomy side street enjoying the feel of fresh air against her skin. The echoes of her footsteps resonated in the desolate alley. She was alone but she could feel other presence on her heels. Someone was following her.

Pretending to be unaware of this, she continued to walk. She can feel them moving rapidly, switching from one place to another as they tailed her.

_Step. Step. Step._

She broke her steps and felt them halt too even when they were concealed in the shadows. She turned around and as suspected, she was alone. Silence…

She waited. They were going to take the first move.

A dash of wind whipped around her but she didn't even flinch as a kunai found its way inches from her right. She then noticed a shadow move and vanished in seconds to her left. Aware that she's in danger, her alertness doubled.

Then something lunged at her from behind. After years of training as a soldier and being the sharpshooter that she is, impulse made her reach backward and to her surprise, she had grabbed the also surprised attacker and threw him high and down the hard floor. When it was done, more of the mysterious attackers descended to assault her. To her astonishment, she managed to dodge all of them and took them out all by herself as they lay on the ground unmoving.

Panting, she stood shakily but her watchfulness never decreased so as to be ready with whatever may lay in wait. She couldn't help the small triumphant smile graze her lips, stunned at her achievement with a mixture of confusion.

Her guard was still raised but she let hands grip her from the back as a knife got pointed at her throat. She could feel that the person who had caught her was a woman from the soft hands to the bulge that she felt on her back. Then it spoke and confirmed Riza's suspicion.

"Hmm… Strong and agile to be able to take out my squad of highly trained ninjas. You really are may be of use." A feminine voice murmured close to her ear.

Swiftly, Riza felt lucky when she took hold of her wrist and in seconds, their positions were switched with her attacker in her grasps. With a startled squeak, the unknown woman was kneeling on the ground with her arms locked by her back, her knife/kunai falling with a _clink_ as Riza kicked it away from her.

It was then when Riza saw her assailant. She was a brunette with her spiky brown hair tied in two pigtails, sharp mahogany eyes, and wearing a sleeveless black V collar suit and short skirts with tulle stockings and the same tight mesh cloth worn as undergarment seen from her neck, wrists, all the way to her ankles.

Riza saw her make a defeated sneer but at the same time, seemed satisfied at the result of her attack. She has the feeling that this woman is the leader of this gang of ninjas.

"What do you want? Who are you?" Riza demanded.

The girl in her clutches, who seemed just a few years younger than her, sneered more. "You don't have to know. Master will have the pleasure of introduction."

Hawkeye frowned, expecting such answer minus the last part. _It really is dangerous out here._

"What about you? What's your name?" she asked innocently, her keen air clearly subsiding to be replaced by an interest with Hawkeye.

"And why should I tell you too?" she replied with a shot of humor.

The girl burst to laughter and not soon after, they heard hurried footsteps fast approaching. Riza didn't need time to worry when Ed and Al's worried faces popped into view.

"Ms Hawkeye! Are you alright?" Alphonse asked with concern as his eyes widened at the sight of the unconscious men around her and the helpless girl in her hands.

"I've never seen them before." Ed muttered out loud, "They look like ninjas."

"Well, kid, that's because we _are_." The girl snapped. "Ow… okay, let me go now. You fight well. And I promise I won't hurt you."

Hawkeye was one never to fully believe at such words but she could hear defeat in her voice.

She didn't let go.

* * *

He walked alone down the nearly deserted streets of Germany. He was going to meet this woman and strike a deal with them. Whether they accept or refuse, it didn't bother him much. He'll just go with the flow.

At the corner of his eyes, he chanced to see something moving in an inhuman speed and disappeared farther ahead to where he was going. He frowned in disappointment. Didn't he just tell them he'd deal with them himself?

_Misanagi__._

He was nearing his destination when he saw it. There stood a blond fighting off his men without much effort. He hurried closer before noticing that it was already over. Two boys came to her aid not long after as they interrogated his servant. He sighed through his nose and made his way to them.


	6. A noble and his offer

"You can let her go now. I give you my word she will do you no harm."

All four of them gazed at the unknown newcomer, three on guard and suspicious while the fourth one was a mixture of shock and shame.

"Misanagi, I believe I've told you that I'll deal with them myself." The grey eyed man stated calmly.

The said woman hung her head helplessly in embarrassment of being caught. All she had wanted was to please him so she took matters in her own hands even though he had already warned them. She knew her punishment won't take long although she forgot that her master wasn't very fond of punishing.

Normally, Hawkeye wouldn't listen if told like that much less from a stranger. But the air of this man before them had something that she couldn't help but believe him. She could feel honesty in his calm, almost deadpan voice and it would be hard not to trust it. Carefully, she released the woman called Misanagi whilst not taking her watchful eye off the two strangers. They didn't make any alarming movements as she and the brothers eyed the blank faced man and Misanagi who was massaging her wrists. Hawkeye was aware that she would go to her master not soon enough and when she did, Riza made no move to stop her.

"And what do I owe this nobleman and his subordinate? What will you be using me for?" she asked in an unexpectedly intimidating and fearless tone.

For the first time since they saw him, which was just minutes ago, an emotion crossed his face. His eyes widened ever so slightly as a light of surprise surfaced in his cold eyes.

"Noble… how can you tell that I am of nobility?" he questioned her with interest.

"Well," Hawkeye didn't look very much amazed. She looked at him with disbelieving eyes. "Firstly, you have a… servant" she struggled with the word for she felt like someone addressing her about the colonel when he never thought of her as one. "And the way you speak has its fashion."

She gazed at him and saw why he had asked. At first glance, one can easily think that he just appear to be the normal rough commoner since he wasn't wearing something as exquisite or elegant for an aristocrat when he is actually one. She tilted her head on one side, giving a small shrug. "To put it simply, you just have that air about you."

His eyes widened a little more, looking quite impressed. Then a laugh escaped his lips. Possibly his real, genuine laugh that was very rare to be heard. Riza noticed this when Misanagi looked at the man with surprise and astonishment. That kind of laugh, she also noticed, was very… similar to the colonel's. He rarely laughed too. And that serious look that he had worn also kind of resembled the colonel's when it was all business. Disgusted with her thoughts, she couldn't believe she was now comparing the colonel with another stranger as she mentally shook her head violently. _Damn… thinking about him now of all times?_

"Impressive. I assume you already have an idea of my intentions since Misanagi here has had a loose tongue?" he asked after his nonchalant chuckle.

They watched him with alertness although they were aware that he doesn't have the slightest intention of harm. They were better prepared than never. He then stood on his full height like a man preparing to tell a revelation, let a small cold smile climb his lips, and spoke.

"Normally in instances like this, you're going to ask _"who are you?"_ then _"what do you want?"_ so I'm going to answer them now." He bowed curtly before continuing, "I am the heir of the Hawthorne family and I came to tell you that I know how to bring the three, but due to certain circumstances, two of you back to your own world in exchange of something."

As expected when he had finished, the three blondes were staring at him with eyes wide, trying to register if what they had just heard was right. If the key to the path to their world has actually just appeared out of thin air and is in fact standing idly before them.

"H-How…" Ed was the first to speak as he tried to puzzle out the words of the stranger. "You're responsible for taking Lt. Hawkeye here, aren't you? If you managed to do that using alchemy then you can do alchemy!" he yelled furiously in a mixture of hope, confusion, and anger for dragging a woman with problems of her own along their trouble. He wasn't sure if he should be grateful for his appearance or be more apprehending of his true motive. The best option would be both since it may be their only chance. Unless…

_What does he really want?_

"I want answers." Ed demanded in gritted teeth.

Again, he had expected that. But he won't be giving any depending on the question. Or maybe he really shouldn't. He didn't answer but waited, expecting it to come any moment now.

"What's your real intention? And why did you take her here?" Ed was half-shouting in resentment by the end of his sentence, glaring daggers.

He smiled coldly yet again in his small fashion, clearly betting that as the first question. He decided it wouldn't hurt to answer the latter one but ignore the first instead.

"I was merely checking if my experiment is correct and she had the most unfortunate luck to land on it. I was just testing it without actually intending to have her get caught in it." _although to confirm that my experiment precisely didn't fail, someone _had to_ be in it and to end up here… which actually did happen. So in other words, my plan worked. To top it all, the one we caught is an acquaintance of this boy._

Edward continued to glare at him untrustingly. How this man was able to do alchemy, he didn't know. But to have him showing up all of a sudden and offering them the key to their world and the coincidental seizing of Hawkeye was just plain… fishy. And of the thousands of people in Amestris, why her?

"Might you show me where this lady emerged?" he asked after dismissing his army of ninjas away and turning back to them in his irritating calmness.

"Why should we?" Al snapped.

"To prove that I am responsible she's here." It seemed that no matter how frustrated they looked or how angrily they replied, he always answers them in his unaffectedly cool air.

* * *

Strangers are persons that are not easily trusted. Ed, Al, and Riza felt that way towards this mysterious noble. They just couldn't imagine that they were standing 5 minutes later in a desolate and darker alley and on the ground before them were the teeniest signs of blood. It was like they simply could not bend his will and had to oblige them albeit hesitantly since they themselves were confused.

"Boy," the man said, turning to Edward. "Stand here,"

Said boy threw him an irritated look for having the guts to order him around.

"Don't worry. Nothing will happen to you."

After a little debate in his mind, Ed slowly (and reluctantly) walked near the place he had been pointed to and to their surprise, light had formed on the ground by the blood's trace in the shape of a circle. Little by little, strange symbols began to grow visible and, as quickly as it came, vanished as the street got swallowed again in darkness.

* * *

It was quarter to six as Havoc walked aimlessly in the grounds of Central HQ, his unlit cigarette dangling on his lips. He yawned, wondering what he was doing there with nothing to do so early in the morning.

As he passed the library, he caught a glimpse of a black head among the towering books. He stepped back to get a better view to see none other than his superior. He was not surprised to see him there since it had been a week since he was acting so strangely and a week since the news of Hawkeye's "_death"_. All of them were so concerned for him that they expected him to be depressed, which he actually is, but never expected him always carrying a book as if in an important research. Even then, they agreed that it was better that he was searching for a way and there was hope than to see him locked up scribbling a suicide note. Clinging to the hope that she is, Mustang was researching for a way to get her back and there was a latent chance that he can also find the Elric brothers with the answer.

Havoc did not want to disturb him but his bugging curiosity made him slip inside. He craned his neck to the left to see Roy reading a certain book in deep concentration. Just when he thought Mustang was unaware of his presence, the man himself spoke.

"Havoc, if you get transported to a different dimension, what will you do?"

The blonde looked at him in bewilderment before thinking of an answer.

"Find a way back?"

Mustang, with his back still turned to him, nodded to himself. "Precisely… And how will you do that?"

Havoc opened his mouth to answer to realize that he didn't know what to say. His long silence answered Roy's question so he decided to help his subordinate.

"You'll try to find out _who _brought you there."

"I don't mean to be rude, sir, but what are you getting at?" he asked, more on wanting light shone upon the dark than impatience of being played at.

Roy did not have a chance to answer as the door suddenly burst open and in ran a girl; A _very_ familiar girl.

"Mr Mustang! I've-I've got news!" she cried

Said man finally turned to them with interest. The blond girl waved the pictures on her hands in the air while she puffed, regaining her breath.

"Miss Rockbell?"

_Rockbell! _The name snapped in Havoc's head, finally remembering the familiar girl as the friend of Fullmetal. He wondered what she was doing there, calling out Mustang. _They must be working together,_ his thoughts then became exaggerated,_ ah, how admirable. Two souls that lost something precious to them are working together to bring them back!_

Although he was ignored while the two people talked about something that only they seems to know about, he listened in attention ready if they need any help in any case. As his ears listened attentively, his eyes fell upon the pictures that she had laid on the table.

_The explosion site._

* * *

"What the hell was that?"

The brunette man had a ghostly smile in his face as his eyes shone with astonishment. "Interesting." His voice sounded slightly excited. "Some part of you is just standing near this circle's base!"

Bewildered, Edward stepped back very confused. "_What?"_

"Hmm. Another striking coincidence! Of all the time that it should be there, now it comes when the rest of its body is near." He murmured to himself. Looking up, three clueless faces met his gaze so he thought of telling them what was going on.

He cleared his throat and explained with the most malevolent smile, "You see, the only way to get out of here is to have some part of you be stationed to the world where you want to return. For instance, he stood here at the same time that something that was his came to the circle in that world thus, almost activating the circle."

"Wait… you said almost. Why wouldn't it activate?" Edward asked him sharply.

He didn't answer as his face became grave, apparently knowing questions would come.

"I have said enough. Now I am offering you the chance to be able to get back to your true world in exchange of something. What that _something _is, I feel you won't be able to agree to but I will offer you otherwise." He paused to turn around, "Now, miss. Please don't be rude. Come join us instead of eavesdropping there."

Whoever he was referring to, it was not Hawkeye for certain as he turned back to them with the air of business. The woman who was hiding by the building hesitantly showed herself.

"Noa!"

She looked at the man grimly and untrustingly while he ignored her and went down to his deal.

No matter what the trade would be, Ed knew he'd rather not know for it would certainly be something important to him. But he had to ask for the sake of the two people who did not deserve to be there.

"I'm not agreeing with anything yet… but what's the trade?"

"Miss Hawkeye, I presume?" the noble said turning to Hawkeye instead as if the real deal was with her.

She flinched as she was addressed then nodded deliberately. "How did you know my name?"

He merely smiled, "In exchange for returning you to your land, I want HER."

Deafening silence…

The wind howled at their feet as Hawthorne finished his words. That was it. He had said it. All they need was to hand over their ticket to their world to make it back. And she was their _only_ ticket: Their only chance. All they need was her answer before they can scream good-bye to this chaotic Germany.

"Absolutely NOT!" Edward roared angrily, "We're not letting you!"

"Yeah! You can't take her! There are people waiting for her too!" Al agreed with the same level of hindrance as his brother.

"I brought her here, did I not? I shall decide what to do." was the flat reply, his indifferent demeanor unchanging. "It's her decision to choose her own happiness or yours."

Riza was quiet. Too quiet and stunned. Her eyes were wide and her body frozen. She was their only chance and she was willing to accept it if that would mean those two boys' happiness. But what does he need with her? Maybe use her as a slave or use her if they try to invade that world again. It was not like she could do much.

"What if you're going to follow us there and do the same thing that Eckhart did, launching war against us?"

She can hear him speaking in a very set tone, warning them.

"Accept the bargain or refuse it, letting your emotions get the better of you and lose valuable information. You choose." He said, ignoring Edward's question.

"Wait!" Noa cried suddenly, "Why her? Take me instead. I can read people's mind!"

They looked at her as if she had lost her own mind, sacrificing herself for them. The noble did not look any amused at this and said, "I am aware of your truly amazing power, girl. But who I need is that woman." He was clearly referring to Riza, their one way ticket back to Amestris.

* * *

**A/N: hah! Is it so predictable? I've still got surprises in mind but the problem is the update date. Though I don't/can't update regularly, thank you for the reviews and the readers for sparing this fic some of their precious time.**


	7. Pain & Gain

**A/N: just ****wanna ****give a big THANKS! To the ff. who gave this story some of their thoughts, considerations, and went out of their time to send motivating reviews:**

**Mylaervain**

**The HongKonger**

**Lou Nebin**

**Black guardian angel**

**The curse of forever**

**Ratnalaurentina**

**Thieving alchemist**

**And to the rest of my great readers that are able to put up with my non****sensical ****madness.**

* * *

_What lies beyond that non__chalant smile that is reflected in those nostalgic eyes?_

_That the past's sorrows dwell in an aching heart_

_The first cut may be the deepest_

_But you could never hurt the one that wounded_

* * *

Silence stretched between them for they were all lost in their own thoughts. After the unfamiliar stranger offered them the chance to return to Amestris, everything came tumbling down at them. As alchemists, Ed and Al knew the principle of equivalent exchange but the noble's payment was too preposterous for them to even think about giving. To add to their growing shock, Noa volunteered to take Hawkeye's place but of course the lieutenant wouldn't even agree with that. The Elric brothers had already made it clear that no one would pay just so they could go back. But then, they were aware that the thought of reconsidering Hawthorne's bargain was swimming in Riza's mind that even when they don't approve of it, she would still do something.

* * *

"_You are just going to give something minor in order to gain something major."_

_His unwavering and cold gaze held theirs as his words' heavy weight sunk in. "It's a simple concept if you think about it… One cannot gain anything without sacrificing something, right, Mr Alchemist?"_

* * *

He was right. And he knew it._ That bastard…_

Alphonse dropped in a chair once they got back and was immediately hoping his brother would tell him what to do now. After all, they just lost valuable information. But he wasn't regretting it. He hated that man for asking them to give Miss Hawkeye for their own gain. Not a chance. Though he was more worried as to what Hawkeye was thinking.

"Edward-" She broke the silence but was sharply cut off by the said boy.

"_Don't. Even. Think. About it, lieutenant."_ He said very slowly to emphasize his words. Hawkeye still looked tentative and they were relieved but also surprised when she didn't press it any further and just fell back in silence.

He and Al had the feeling that she was not withstanding the subject mentally so they decided to make it clear with her.

"Look, you can't go to that lunatic. Don't even think about it, no." Ed warned her not caring if he sounded rude. In any case, it was for her sake. "I'm not going back to tell the Colonel that you were sacrificed for our own gain. And I am not responsible if he does suicide. There are people waiting for you and they won't forgive us if we let you do that. I don't give a damn if that bastard would try to look happy if he hears that we came back because of you when we know that you were all he wanted to see." As he spoke, he could see her eyes becoming dark and feel her spirit slowly diminishing per word.

"How would you know that?" her voice was quiet but she was actually spitting poison. It was as if the mere thought of Mustang being bothered over her disappearance was like driving a car without wheels. It was coated with ice and pain was its core.

He was so taken aback by her bitter and hazardous tone he must have looked like he was slapped using just those cold words. It was then that he had a flashback when he was back hours ago with Noa sitting in that very room retelling the past. _Her _past that seemed only she herself knows.

* * *

"_Noa, can I ask you something?"_

_She looked at him with disenchanted eyes as if she knew he'd ask at some time._

"_What is it?"_

_He told her his worries about the lieutenant and he had to know what it was first that made her act so distant. Noa understood this since she noticed her actions too and just a minute after that, she fell silent as if recalling what she saw before she spoke in a hypnotized voice._

"_A woman… A woman with a gun. She was running hard and she was very worried. Then something like a robot appeared. She was hurt but she shot it down. Then a wail. She was crying over some bloody body. The woman, I think, is Miss Riza and she was calling out something…" her eyebrows furrowed as she tried to recall the name and when she did, her tone became urgent, "Colonel! _Roy Mustang!_ Yes… a huge house was on fire then she was in the hospital, crying in the bathroom. Next she was facing a man with raven black hair. She looked sad but the man told her it wasn't her fault…" she fell into silence once more as Ed began to realize what had happened._

"_That's what happened to the Colonel, huh."_

_Noa opened her eyes for a moment before closing it again and fell back in her trance._

"_The man now has an eye patch on his left eye but he looked happy when she was around. The same goes to Riza. One night she checked up on him and she saw that he was still awake with a serious expression on his face. She stayed by his door and watched when he punched the table hard. He seemed angry at himself. Then she fled quietly, scared, not for him, but for his well-being. She wanted to help him. And then…" she bowed her head and did not talk for a while._

"_The next to take place isn't very best to know." She told him with sincere eyes once she looked up. This only fuelled the shrewd alchemist who seemed to have sensed that the next chapter would explain everything._

"_Noa, I have to know…" insisted Ed._

_She looked at him long and hard with sympathy and dread in her eyes and it reminded him of how Hawkeye felt when she was alone or when he had tried asking her about what happened to her._

_With a sigh, Noa continued. "Very well. It was months of grief for her when she found out he had left. She wanted to go to him badly but she knew he didn't want to see her. There was never a night when she was not crying and I think it was also a whole month that she managed to keep that pain in herself instead. The rest was more of a blur but I remember her walking in some office with a bandage around her wrist. She broke her mirror and accidentally cut her wrist which could have bled her to death. Then her concerned __neighbor checked up on her after hearing something __shattering like glass and that was when she was found, bloody and unconscious."_

"_The man never showed up since and she had been acting all normal in the office after recovering…" she paused again. "She saw him again when the rockets from here had attacked them. It was, in a long time, their first and last meeting."_

_The boy in front of her waited if there was more but Noa said, "That's about it, Edward. It was quite fuzzy, to be honest. I can't be exact with the time but I can tell it was long, lonely months."_

_She watched his face turn grave as everything became clear to him. He was in deep silence, probably compassionating for Riza, Noa thought, before finally averting back to her with determined eyes._

"_Thank you, Noa."_

"He wants to see _you_, E

* * *

d! Not me. He was blaming himself for your disappearance for not being there to guide you as a superior and guardian! We thought you had died so he left to punish himself for the wrong things that he had done while all of us were left to sort the problems that could have been solved if he was there! He wants to know you're alive! That is reason enough so you two should go back and for me to stay!" her shaking voice rang out.

All three were looking at her now, each with their own reaction. Ed turned ghostly pale with his mouth half-open, Alphonse and Noa were stunned at her sudden confession looking frantically between his brother and the sniper, Noa's usually calm demeanor slipping from her face.

"I am willing to stay for him and for you both." She whispered, her gaze dropping on the floor.

* * *

"_This is her decision. Her choice… Hers and only hers to make."_

* * *

The noble's words echoed again in his head, hollow and endlessly as if reminding him who will be the one to make the real decision. He hated that man. And his rational words scared the hell out of him. His unmarred voice had spoken of his unbendable will and once the choice would be made, it would be like signing a foreign contract that even though the contents were already explained to you, once you sign it, you won't have a single clue that it would change everything.

Tell it or not, Hawkeye will make the decision. Hawthorne knew that much. His unaffected air that never wavered is proof enough when Ed and Al had blown it in his face that they'd never accept such bargain. He wanted _her_ decision, not theirs… and not anyone else's.

It scared the shit out of him because he knew what her decision would be. And it was now ready to be given.

* * *

"_I can't force you," he had said, "I am not very fond of violence. I only need your answer therefore all will be well."_

"_Hell, no!" Ed and Al roared together. "We're not giving you anything!"_

"_Then I can't give you anything in return."_

"_We are not asking _you_ for anything." retorted an infuriated Ed._

"_Thus, I am offering you." He replied in his unchanging manner as if he knew everything that would be thrown at him and a rational answer that was enough to make them speechless was always at the ready. "Don't tell me you're not searching for a way to get back to your homeland?"_

_Edward was already gritting his teeth, getting angrier and angrier with him every passing second. _You make me sick!_ He mentally spat, aware that picking a fight won't solve anything._

"_This is your one and only chance." His expression was serious again as he spoke, "You are just going to give something minor in order to gain something major. It's a simple concept if you think about it ...One cannot gain anything without sacrificing something, right, Mr Alchemist?"_

"_What are you planning to do with her?" he protested with all his calmness, trying his best to ignore the scheme in his head to just lunge at him and strangle him and beat him to pieces so he'd admit the way to their return. He knew it was better not even think about it since this lord, with his cool-headedness, sensed he was not an easy opponent. Even with the four of them, he had a ransacking feeling he could take them all down all on his own._

_The corners of Hawthorne's lips twitched as if the question was mighty interesting to answer but he wouldn't do so._

"_Not to worry." He replied with such suaveness with a sophisticated swish of a hand, politely dismissing any misunderstanding running in their dirty mind. "I never hurt women. Nor do I have any bad intention. I just need her help with something."_

"_No!" Ed fired, turning his back on him in a motion of end of discussion. "No way, in hell! Hawkeye's not going anywhere near you and THAT'S FINAL!"_

"_You're not the one to give the final decision, boy." He reminded him coldly, grey eyes boring into gold. With a small, satisfied smile at Ed's horrified look, he closed his eyes before facing his original client._

"_You want… me?" she breathed disbelievingly._

"_This is your choice… and not anyone else's." he answered with a polite smile._

Hell, sure! It's a deal. _She wanted to say that to his face but Ed, Al and Noa were looking at her with pleading eyes for her refusal. There was no space for lies in the stranger's words and she could sense sincerity in his voice when he had been talking. There was no other choice. It was either yes or no. She stole one last glance at the three beside her before facing Hawthorne._

He's not seriously waiting for my answer now, is he? _She wanted to say yes but there were people there who would certainly stop her. She hesitated before opening her mouth for her reply when he seemed to have known what she was thinking and went on ahead._

"_Well, you can think this over and give me your answer when you are ready." He handed her a piece of paper. "My home is always open."_

_He bowed curtly, completely back to how he was when he had arrived; cool and collected with the most polite yet mysterious smile._

"_Now then, I shall be going."_

_He had just walked a few steps away when he suddenly went to a halt and added courteously but in a tone that they should never forget, to the three adolescence_

"_Remember… This is her decision. Her choice; hers and only hers to make."_

_With that, he was gone._

* * *

She was not going anywhere near that creep whether she wants to or not, Ed swore.

"Lt., why are you doing this? If it's all for us then forget about it. We're not going back without you." Ed told her gently. "There is something out there, I'm certain of it, that can bring us back. Bring _you_ back to where you should be: beside Mustang. I don't want to go back without you so please promise me you're never gonna accept that trade. There are people waiting for you too so please don't do it. I don't give a damn if Mustang wants to see me again but I'm a hundred percent certain he needs you more."

A revolted smile grazed her lips at his latter words as her head fell down to gaze at her hands.

"Edward…" her tone was calm again but he could hear abhorrence bubbling beneath it. "I also _don't _give a damn if he needs me, because if he really did, then he couldn't have chickened out to the north by himself. He's a grown man and he knows what to do."

"But he came back didn't he? And he let you fight beside him!"

"Don't get me wrong, Edward. He came back because of _you_!"

Silence immediately followed with Ed left speechless and Riza clenching and unclenching her hands in painful muteness.

"He returned when he had heard about you. He wanted to know it was really you, the boy he had dragged into this mess." Riza continued, "He wanted to make amends for not being the proper guide and mentor that he is to you. He cares for you. _We_ care for you and they want you back… Isn't that reason enough?"

"So, You want me back… for _him_?" his uncertain voice said.

"… And for your loved ones." She concluded with a nod.

Ed collapsed on a chair as he shook his head. "Fine, you made your point. But we go back with YOU. None of us is staying behind and we'll go back without that guy's help."

"Ed, I don't need eyes to know you and Al aren't making any progress here and he's our only chance."

"Ms Riza, please," Ed was thankful when Al decided to lend his voice of persuasion. "Don't lose hope. There _is_ another way and we can't give up!"

"Yes. Me and Al would already have given up and stayed here if you didn't have to be stuck here too. You are the reason we now have hope of returning. We're doing this not just for us but for you too."

"If it's for my sake then I want you two to go back." She shot him a determined glance as if to say she will not be put down.

"But Lt., they need you back there! If you say it again that the Colonel doesn't, then we do. We want you back with us."

"You know he doesn't!" Hawkeye was now speaking in a voice between a cry and a plead, half-yelling in agonised denial. "What use will I be to him even if I can go back? Why prolong it when I can take you back for everyone's sake? I care for him, we care for you and it's the majority's happiness at stake if I stay."

"Lieutenant, this isn't about the colonel!" Ed responded loudly.

"Then WHY DID YOU HAVE TO BRING HIM UP!"

"Because HE'S THE ONLY REASON YOU GO ON!" he replied sharply and when she had no response, looking away in guilt, he knew he had hit the spot.

"Then who is this about?" she finally said a lot calmer this time, acquiescing.

"It's about you."

* * *

"_The transmutation circle glowed with light when I approached it._"

As Winry narrated what she had seen when she went to take pictures of the circle, a natural smile grazed Roy's lips: one that was not seen in a very long time.

"And then… and then… I just took pictures before I ran back here! I-it stopped glowing when I was away. I swear I didn't do anything!" she cried in panic, frantically waving her hands.

Roy, who had been sober all this time, was now smiling.

"Ms Rockbell-"

"Winry."

"Ms Winry-"

"Winry!"

He sighed, "Winry-chan…"

She grinned. "Much better. Don't be so formal with me, Mr Mustang. You know we're in this together."

"Then I guess you should call me Roy."

She put her fingers on her chin to put a show of consideration. "Hmm… I guess I should! So, you look like you already found something. Care to share?"

"Well Winry, you just collected the final piece of the jigsaw, thank you." he said, scanning the books on the table. "I'm sad to say that I can't find anything involving this new circle and I can guarantee it's definitely not from this world. Though there are few symbols that I can understand for example," in expert maneuvers, he grabbed one of the pictures that she took while flicking the pages of a book, "This symbol…" he pointed at two akin icons across the circle, "… represents common elements. The two others 90 degrees on both sides of it…" his fingers traced another pair of symbol, "… mean a parallel universe. The circle connects all of this so my theory is that one can activate the circle if a single common element of the same body is placed on both circles of each different location."

He turned to Winry and, as expected, her mouth was half-open with a the-train-of-thought-still-hadn't-reached-its-station look.

"Well," Roy scratched the back of his head trying to think of a better way to explain. He looked at Havoc who has been there the whole time and saw that his mouth was stretched to a thin line, possibly trying to catch his words too. "You got my point Havoc?"

The blond eyed him in case he was hinting something but seeing none, shrugged. "I dunno. But… she's alive, right?"

He didn't want to change the subject but he wanted to be sure that his superior was doing this for her. A week since his return and a week since Hawkeye's disappearance, he had watched Mustang descend from the sky and after bringing in the sad news of the Elric's parting to take back the rockets, he had set off immediately to destroy some gate and Havoc never failed to notice him often throwing a keen glance by his shoulder as if expecting a certain someone was going to be there for him.

Unfortunately, he had worn a tired I'm-back smile only to find that the one he had returned for has also been stripped from him. Havoc could only watch when Roy's eyes had widened in disbelief after hearing the news that even in her last moments, the one thing she did was to protect him. After those months of being hundreds of miles apart, he had given her his back yet the only thing that they have had was a mere wretched minutes of wordless reunion.

He watched as the new smile on Roy's face slowly melted at the mention of the missing and hopefully alive lieutenant. They still had no idea where she was or if she was really safe now and Mustang was positive that she was alive. When Havoc and the others had asked him how he could tell (though they wanted to agree with him badly, they still needed some basis in case he was blurting out an inconsistent conjecturing out of his grief which they were well aware of), he simply replied: _"I just feel it."_

"She is. I know it. And I'm taking her back."

The fire of determination was burning in his eyes and Havoc didn't doubt his words.

"I'm sorry. Can you explain it, Roy?" Winry spoke up, failing to hear the lieutenant's previous question.

The Flame alchemist bit his lip trying to comprehend how to before answering, "For example, Winry is here," he drew a stick figure in a paper and a line underneath it, "… in Resembool while Edward," he drew a shrimp with a same line underneath on the other end of the paper earning a laugh from the girl, "… is in Central. Now this line is the circle and Winry-chan forgot to give Ed his other shoe. Ed is left in Central with a single shoe and he needs to get the other pair but he was stuck in Central and couldn't get on the train. Then he remembered that he left a transmutation circle at home and decided to draw one in Central. When he was about to activate it, Winry found the same circle back in Resembool and left Ed's shoe on it. Ed stepped on the circle in time that Winry left the other shoe so the same shoes are both on the circle at the same time, thus triggering it to glow."

Winry laughed at this while shaking her head, "Hahaha! I get it now, I get it!"

Havoc grinned too who also seemed to hit the spot. "Very clever of you, sir, very clever."

Roy nodded, relieved to share a good piece of information. The blonde girl fell quiet as if rethinking something as Roy voiced her thoughts.

"Yes, Winry. You were carrying something that is a part of something that is not in this world."

She gasped loudly, "Ed!"

Roy nodded again then she began to search something in her pockets and soon took out a screw. She raised it for them to see as she embarrassedly explained, "I forgot about that again."

"That's part of Ed's automail!" spluttered Havoc in realization.

The alchemist turned serious again as one certain conclusion became clear:

"There's a good chance Hawkeye is with the Elric brothers."

The two looked at him and Winry appeared as though she might cry. "But if they have another circle back there, can't they go back?"

Mustang's dark eyes narrowed, "It's possible. It's either something is missing or they can't do alchemy. Maybe they have to shed something that has alchemy… and it is both in their blo-"

"BIG SIIIS!" a girl's high-pitched squeal had them startled as Elysia raced to Winry.

"E-Elysia!"

Mrs. Hughes closed the door of the library as she followed the girl with an apologetic smile. "I'm sorry. Elysia, dear, be quiet. You're in the library." She turned to the older ones, "I'm sorry for the sudden visit but I was worried, Roy. I heard Lt. Hawkeye… died…"

Mustang was slow to respond so Winry spoke instead, "No! It's good news, Mrs. Hughes! She was transported somewhere but I'm sure she's alive."

Relief showed in the widow's face when she released a breath. "That's good. I hope you find her. Winry-chan, how have you been? So many things are happening these days, my god, Alphonse and Edward!" she exclaimed looking very stressed as ever when the people she knows disappears before she knew it.

"Calm down, Gracia." Roy told her, pulling one of the chairs to her, "Don't worry too much. We are also kind of in a tight spot too."

She plopped down on the chair as she turned back to the soldier with a look of utter incomprehension. "My god, Roy I'm glad you came back. Your men needed you" she sighed heavily, "I hope you take them back. I'm not sure if could swallow another loss."

Roy looked guilty at her words and found himself speechless. He was also feeling the same exhaustion; one unexpected event leading to another it was one hell of a roller coaster ride.

"Uncle Roy?" Elysia, who had been carried by Winry, wiggled down her grasp and looked at him with her big, searching eyes, "Are you sad? Will you be okay?"

The man smiled and kneeled on one knee as he reached down to pat her head, "I'm okay. Thank you, Elysia." He told her gently but his voice trembled at the first words.

He excused himself to the women who were empathizing and assuring each other with encouraging news to search more in the books though it was more that he wanted some time for himself to figure out his own feelings. He let himself drown in the quietness as he marched deeper in the sea of shelves and books, feeling his heart ache with something he couldn't quite tell. But he missed her that was for sure. He was an idiot for leaving her -them- to the snowy north just because of the guilt that was gnawing in him. He had undergone a lot of thinking knowing he had hurt her and now she was gone. He wasn't quite sure what to do now but he wanted her back for certain.

He stared up in the shadowy portion of the library, eyes scanning rows of books but not quite registering them. He closed his eyes and sighed. After mere seconds a small voice talked.

"Daddy said you liked this Miss Riza." He glanced behind him to see Elysia's tiny figure, her curious eyes gawking at him. She had followed him. "He said you can't live without her. Is that true? That's why you're looking for her?"

His heart skipped a beat. That was true. But… should he tell her? If not then he can't possibly lie to her.

He sat on the floor and the girl continued to watch him.

"Come here."

She perked up, obviously delighted at the invitation. She sat beside him before resuming back to wait for his answers. Roy couldn't help but smile at her enthusiasm with his personal love life. _Just like her father._

"Yes, I do love her."

He watched, amused as the grin on her face grew as if he had offered her candy.

"Really?" she whispered as if the subject was a secret between them, like teen age girls fussing over admitting secret crushes. "Then I'll be the flower girl!"

It caught him off-guard, the smile stuck on his face. _Where the hell….? Hughes!_ So she thought they'd be married, eh?

She continued to look at him, eyes twinkling in the dark. "I'll be the flower girl, pleease?"

He stared at her.

Then smiled. "Sure."

* * *

**A/N: cut! Ok. Tell me what you think. This chapter's quite long yet I doubt it is satisfying. I'll be working on chapter 8 now!**


	8. The Queen or your dream?

_What comes first?_

_The queen or your dream?_

* * *

The next day…

How could he walk in acting like the most insensible person as he announced Roy's dreaded victory? He would have rejoiced if he wasn't drowning in guilt when he was realizing how important Riza was to him just when that insensitive person sauntered casually in to announce that Roy was to be the head of the country in a tone that it was the most self-explanatory thing in the world. How badly Roy had wanted to punch that nonchalant, bland face as he talked in a flat tone:

"Colonel Roy Mustang is chosen to be the next Fuhrer." His monotonous voice seemed to bounce off the library's walls as the soldier paused to look at him.

Roy's breath was stuck in his throat before choking out: "I'm sorry?"

The soldier standing by the door was obviously expecting the reaction when he had raised an eyebrow, coughed, and continued, "General Grumman wishes to talk you as soon as possible."

He then bowed politely before dismissing himself out the room.

A whole minute of silence filled the room as Havoc and Gracia threw a worried sideways glance at the man who was to be Fuhrer. His face was indiscernible, struggling with confused emotions. Finally, Roy shook his head disbelievingly. _This has to be a dream; or a nightmare._

"Chief?"

"Mommy, what was that about?" the young girl asked, clinging by her mother's skirt to get noticed. Gracia merely patted her daughter's head and continued to analyze Roy's reaction as if she didn't hear Elysia ask.

Inhaling deeply, he collapsed on a chair and buried his face in his palms. The two adults couldn't possibly say he looked happy at the news since he looked more like devastated, unable to even pull off a smile to assure them he was fine.

"What are you going to do now?" Gracia asked gently.

"I'll just… see where this will take me." Roy replied absently. He pushed himself up, "Please excuse me." Then made his way out the room.

"He needs some time alone." Gracia said thoughtfully when it was only the three of them in the room, "I mean… things are coming down to him all at once and he's got Riza to worry about."

Jean nodded his agreement, "I've never seen the man _this_ lost."

A couple of minutes later, Roy reappeared looking a bit more determined this time though he looked like he was expecting to be alone by the time he returned. Just then, Elysia, apparently bored, began to whine. "Ma, I wanna pee! Let's get out of here."

Gracia picked her daughter up albeit hesitant to leave the room. With a sigh, she excused herself this time.

"So," Roy began, "What do you think I should do?"

"Well what goes first?" the smoker asked in a tone of annoyance, clearly not watching what he was saying "A pawn or your dream?"

* * *

Rain poured down the gloomy sky of Germany, its rhythm as it hit the ground sounding monotonous to Riza Hawkeye. It rarely rained there, she had noticed, and now the heavens were pouring its sorrowful tears down this sorrowful place.

After losing the argument with the Fullmetal alchemist, there was nothing else to say so she had resigned to her room ignoring Ed's final plead to steer clear off the deal. She'd rather not talk. It was pathetic to even try to convince them, she knew that from the start. So she gave up to them just like that. She couldn't promise Ed and Al that she won't leave.

"_Please promise me…"_

She could not promise them anything but the promise of their return.

* * *

"So it's about her?" Al said to Ed downstairs as he was preparing dinner, an amused tone playing in his voice. He knew it wasn't the right situation to laugh at jokes but he thought humoring his brother would at least lessen the unease hanging in the air.

His effort was hopefully not in vain when he noticed the corner of Ed's mouth rise. "Yeah, but that doesn't mean we're not a part of this. All of us appear to have some sort of role here, you see."

"And the lieutenant?"

"I guess we could call her as the leading lady." Both of them laughed lightly before Ed switched back to being somber. "But don't you think it's too ingenuous to have her taken here and then have someone wanting to possess her? That Hawthorne guy just told us he was responsible for bringing her here, right? Then claiming that he didn't choose who gets to get caught in his circle and Hawkeye just happened to be the _one._ It's too coincidental for it not to be coincidence."

A tired sigh escaped his lips, "Yeah. So… what do we do now?"

Ed didn't look anywhere near happy, "Our path is still dim, my little brother. We'll have to research that guy's circle and break its code without asking for his help. In the meantime," he glanced at the stairs leading to the second floor, "we'll have to keep an eye on her."

* * *

"Havoc, there's something you are not telling me."

The said man twitched for a split second before throwing him a very nervous smile. His voice was uncertain in a way that it was shouting his words were lies.

"What makes you say that?"

Roy frowned deeply appearing quite angry at this as he pierced Havoc with his gaze urging him to talk. He watched as the blonde sighed with closed eyes, turned around for a moment to scratch his head, then slump his shoulders before turning back to Roy, mentally debating if he should just let the cat out of the bag.

"Hawkeye…" he trailed off letting Roy voice out his thought.

"I knew it."

Jean looked at him, amusement drawn across his face. "Don't want to hear it?"

"Zip it. You just want to avoid telling me." He snapped.

"Fine," Roy was half-glad and half-dreading when Havoc finally decided to be more somber, "It's better you know for her sake. You see, she was hospitalized _twice_ ever since you were gone—"

"WHAT? Why didn't you tell me earlier?" he shouted, shooting out from his chair. "What happened? Did someone hurt her?"

Havoc couldn't help but let his head drop, clearly expecting the response. "Even if I wanted to, it was Lt. Hawkeye's request. She didn't want us to make a "_fuss"_ over her condition especially if you are concerned."

A bitter smile crossed the dark-haired man's features when he collapsed back in his chair. "Idiot. I knew it."

"You _knew _it…? Again?" Havoc's tone seemed to sound a mixture of anger and confusion. "You knew what would happen to her?"

"What she _would_ do if something were to happen to her." Roy pointed out, "She wouldn't want me to know so as not to make me worried."

The blonde man was not able to resist a scoff. "To put it simply, you were aware that she won't talk even if the lieutenant is troubled and you won't even bother to give her help since she did not want to disturb you? You're not taking her silence for granted, right?"

"permission to speak freely?" when his superior nodded, he continued, "Sir, as much as I hate to say this but even a blind man can see it I just don't understand why you don't but Hawkeye was worried-sick over you. All of us were. All those things have never happened to her when you used to be around and now she's falling apart. The strong woman we've known seems to have gone somewhere far away and now that she literally vanished we want you to bring her back. Bring the Hawkeye we know back. She cares for you and you care for her but you just lack concern for her! When you were in glory, on the brink of death, and on the way to recovery, even in the depths of your despair, there was never a moment she was not beside you. Is it too much to return the same amount of care? While it was her suffering, where were you? In some god-forsaken mountain drowning in self-pity? Damn it, I know you could do better than that, Mustang!" when he was finished, he stomped immediately out of the room.

He stepped outside and was surprised to see Gracia standing near the door.

"Nice speech." An amused Gracia complimented once they were out of ear shot.

Havoc shrugged, "Had to kick some sense in him"

* * *

As the door swung close, silence immediately hung in the air as Roy turned to look at the picture of the transmutation circle, Havoc's words repeating again and again in his head like some music refusing to stop until he understood its meaning. He was right. What kind of king was he? A coward? Here he stood, to be Fuhrer any day now and yet he felt the most miserable man in the world_.__How can I be happy when the one person who helped me reach where I am now, the very summit of my dream, is not even here?_

No, he wouldn't hang his head any lower starting today. He wouldn't sulk around like it was the end of the world, he inhaled deeply, determined to show that the fight was not over, that he would stand up again and reclaim what was his and in the meantime, go on with his dreams. He wasn't that weak, right? And she was his strength… beside him or not.

Ten seconds after that, Roy was marching out of the library with the air of a man reborn and determined, the fire of everything he worked for burning in his eyes. He walked… toward a future he would create with his own hands.

"Colonel Roy Mustang, sir! How can I serve my country?"

* * *

Noa stood by the closed door, swallowing in the silence that stretched between her and the woman that was sitting across her by the window sill, gazing out at the falling rain with reminiscing eyes. She bit her lip, wondering what to do. In fact, she wasn't even sure what she was doing there. Just a minute ago, her feet seemed to have walked on its own and the next thing she knew, she was knocking on Riza Hawkeye's door. It would be impolite to just run off when you had bothered the woman who took the effort to open her door to let her in.

"Noa, why don't you sit down?" Riza said suddenly, looking at their reflection on the moist window and noticing that the girl hadn't moved an inch since entering the room.

She obeyed and sat at the chair directly beside the door. There was silence again. The dark-haired girl clenched her hands, finally finding the reason why she was there. The reason which had been gnawing on the bottom of her stomach ever since the moment after she and the soldier shook hands. It was that she felt she invaded some top-secret things about her that she shouldn't have seen and talked about. An apology; yes, and an explanation that should not leave Riza bewildered.

"You know about it, right?" Riza whispered before Noa could say anything. The girl blinked at her, somewhat feeling a mixture of confusion and a close understanding of what Riza was talking about. "You saw it. The past-_ my _past, I mean."

There was no tone of anger or accusation in her voice and her calmness surprised Noa. She was going to say an apology, but how the woman knew about it was beyond her so the words that came out of her mouth instead were, "How did you know?"

Riza looked at her and smiled, "Well, when we first met, I knew you were a great girl but that was also when I thought that something was odd but I couldn't put a finger on it. And then it was also weird when Ed knew more than he should know even when I told him about it without giving all the details. Then the meeting with the noble… you said it yourself, am I wrong?"

_How could I forget?_ She mentally face-palmed, _gosh, that was stupid, Noa! _"Oh, you're right…" she trailed off, uncertain of what else to say.

She inhaled and thought of the right words before speaking, "Look, Miss Hawkeye, I didn't mean to see them. I-I just," she shook her head as if ushering the exact, proper words to hit her, "_see _them through skin contact even if it just took a few seconds. I'm really sorry."

"It's okay." Hawkeye replied, dismissively waving her hand, "I understand."

The dark-skinned girl was flabbergasted at how Riza could take it so lightly. She had seriously trespassed even in the most kept thoughts that was hidden in the safest place in the world and yet all she said was _"I understand."_!

Finding it hard to believe Riza's buoyant and sudden condone of her unforgivable immorality, Noa pressed on as if all she wanted was to feel the weight of her mistake punishing her.

"You're not angry at me? I mean, I told Edward about it… for your sake."

Hawkeye smiled at her, "You told Edward for my sake. It was for me then why should I be angry? I should be thankful at least even when it was not necessary."

Noa stared at her shoes, "I was hoping he could help you. And," she paused, "I thought it might also help them."

The blonde was staring outside again, shielding her real expression and trying to put a lighter tone in her voice, "You're a nice girl, Noa."

That was sincere. But Noa could detect a hint of something else in it.

"You're still going, aren't you?"

Riza nodded, "I trust you can keep this a secret between us?"

The other girl was silent and Riza was starting to think that Noa might have a change of heart on which side to take. In spite of knowing that both of them wanted the boys safely back in Amestris, she has a strong belief that Noa understood what she was trying to do and that she would agree.

But that could change and Riza was hoping it would not.

"Okay."

A surge of relief washed over the sniper after seeing the honest and determined fire in her eyes. "Thank you."

At least there was someone she could still rely on.

* * *

Alphonse halted a few feet from where Riza's room was as Noa shut the door of the said room. When she saw him holding a tray of food, she said, "Oh, Alphonse…"

The boy grinned, holding up the tray, "I brought her food," then his expression turned to one of worry, "How is she doing?"

"She seems fine. She was watching the rain." That was partly true, she thought.

"I'm sure she's hungry," he muttered innocently, knocking on the door as she stood aside. Seconds later, the door clicked open to reveal Riza wearing a practiced smile to greet them.

"Another visitor? Yes, Alphonse?" she stepped aside to let him in. She left the door open for Noa as she eyed the rain absently again.

"Dinner, Ms Riza!" Alphonse cheerfully said, abruptly pulling Riza from the rain daze.

"Ah, thank you."

"What were you doing?"

"I was looking outside and I had Miss Noa for company," she nodded to the said girl's direction, "Does it rain here often? The city looked… dull."

"I don't think so, too. The place felt dry." He agreed, "And the government does not appear to be making any move to improve this country. No doubt it was looking pretty boring."

Noa couldn't believe her ears. Here they were, talking casually about the weather when hours later they were arguing about who gets to leave and stay. _These foreigners are really unpredictable_.

"Well, I'll be going now. If you need anything, we're just downstairs." He was on his way out when he suddenly stopped, his voice acquiring a very serious tone this time as he glanced indirectly at her.

"Please don't jump out the window."

She chuckled softly, "Thank you, Al. I appreciate everything that you and Ed are doing."

He went out and closed the door, catching a glimpse of the last image that was Hawkeye with a derisive smile.

When she was alone again, she muttered, "That's a good suggestion. But," she glanced at the item under the bed, "I had already thought about it first."

Turning around when she was certain that they were gone, she flung the window open and cold rainy wind blew. She grabbed a rope under the bed and tied one end on a bar beside the window. After wrapping it tightly she pulled and secured it and saw that it was strong enough for her. Looking out, she examined the grounds against the nightfall's shadows and observed that she was about fifty feet from her window to the damp ground. She saw all this even in the shadows. No surprises there. She wasn't called Hawkeye for nothing.

She wrapped the rope around her waist and stepped on the border of the window, analyzing a plan to get down. She inhaled deeply smelling the familiar humid evening air, and without hesitation, leapt out the room… and vanished in the darkness.

* * *

**A/N:** I'm honestly, terribly sorry if my updates are taking too damn long. But I promise you, as long as I have at least some _one _still reading this crap (see? My confidence with my creation is totally good) I will continue this for you.

Of course, I will never forget to thank those who are reading and reviewing this. I so can't go on without you (for the hundredth time!). Even if my grammar may suck and/or whatever else you find displeasing about me or this fic, thank you very much for still sticking with me.

Til' next time!

~TaisaXChui~


	9. black or white

_He is the weather;_

_Unpredictable at times_

* * *

Lightning flashed and the sound of rain continuously hitting the roof reverberated around him. His grey eyes never left the book on his hand yet he was aware his blonde cousin kept glancing at him. He looked up as if by instinct, not at the young girl but out at the glass window overlooking the mansion's front gate and garden where tiny lights flickered in the gate lamps fighting to exist within the obscuring blackness. Aside from these lights, it was almost impossible to see anything.

A small smile grazed his lips and vanished as quickly as it came.

"The special guest is coming. Prepare to give her a warm welcome." He ordered.

Misanagi materialized out of the room's shadows donning a confused look. It was very tempting to ask how he could say that when he was just sitting by the window under the rain reading the whole time and what with the darkness outside, but she knew better than to question her master's words. She and the blonde girl in curly pigtails that was sitting on the floor doodling something on a paper exchanged confounded looks, apparently wondering the same thing. She looked at the man by the window and saw that he had resumed reading. Without another word, Misanagi bowed and disappeared to carry out his command.

* * *

Edward glanced at the stairs as Alphonse descended followed by Noa. "Still there?"

"Still there."

"I might sound paranoid but it's better if we switch places to stay on watch around her room and go see her on occasion just to be sure. You never know what she's up to. What do you think?"

Al and Noa both nodded.

"Since my room's just beside hers, I'll keep watch tonight." She volunteered and the brothers agreed. _I have to give her enough time to escape before they know it, after all._ The thought churned guiltily on her stomach, aware that she had to act as a double agent. Devastatingly risky it may be her calm demeanor would hopefully save her from an early exposure. _Besides, this is for all of them,_ she assured herself, trying hard not to think that she was almost betraying the people she loved.

* * *

In expert maneuvers, she skidded down the wall leaping and stepping on structures that were on her way to make her descent easier as she landed gracefully on the ground, smartly avoiding the puddle that would soak her shoes.

The rain continued to pour but Riza didn't bother looking for an umbrella and instead ran hastily away from the house. She would think about the rest later. For now she had to get away first or if they catch her, her escape would end up in vain.

When she was far enough, she slowed down, stopped and leaned by the entrance of a thankfully closed shop to catch her breath. The rain was not turning to a storm but she was already definitely wet. She suppressed a shiver as she twisted her black skirt that Gracia had given her and pulled her also wet hair from her face.

After all that running, she noticed she had not seen a single person outside which she found convenient (since it would have looked suspicious -and probably even crazy- if anyone saw a blonde woman racing in the middle of the rain) but at the same time, odd. She noticed this since the time when she was by the window, carefully observing and analyzing her plan of escape. People locked themselves inside when there was a storm. Well, Munich was quite a chaotic place what with the mysterious issues from the previous government and the impending battle for the seat at the top, they really need a better leader.

At the thought of twisted governments and better leaders, her stomach coiled in a confused bundle of emotions, fury and agitation replaced anxiety at the reminder. Biting her lower lip, she stepped –or more like stomped- out her shelter and into the rain wishing the force of it would clear her troubled mind.

She continued running, not able to help wondering how her thoughts on desolate roads compared to Amestris' ended up with her thoughtful superior.

_Maybe it was just the rain._

Not soon enough, houses were becoming less as she got far and the sight she saw when she glanced up confirmed that she was going on the right direction.

There atop a gloomy hill was a lone mansion, light radiating from a high dormer window of a skyscraper, desolate and mysterious; just like the person who lived there. The sky high star -which was the only visible light that protruded from the tower- guided her to miraculously reach her destination across the sea of dimness.

Her speed slackened as she neared the huge structure, barely managing to make it out of the sloppy, sloping hill and pitch darkness of the night. Panting and soaking, she went to a halt as the nearest gas lamp shone, alighting the solitary figure that stood beneath it.

Then she saw him.

He turned and saw her too. Hawthorne was poker-faced as he held a black umbrella and when he approached a motionless Hawkeye, an unmistakable flicker of something crossed his cold gray eyes. He pushed the umbrella to her hands and wordlessly took off his coat. Petrified, she watched him drape it around her shivering shoulders. The pitter-patter of the rain seemed to momentarily hypnotize her as she realize what that flicker was.

Concern.

He gently took the umbrella while still keeping the both of them safely under its cover as he eyed her from head to foot in one quick sweep.

"It is reckless for a lady like you to be out in the rain alone in the middle of the night." He stated flatly.

"I _know _how to take care of myself, _sir._" She coldly snapped although she was grateful for the unexpected kindness that he had shown. She had never even thought that there was actually an ounce of good in him after their first meeting albeit his polite manner.

"I see you brought your weapon." His glanced at her skirt concealing the only pistol she had had since she ended up in Munich.

Stunned (again) that he was able to tell that much with a single look, Riza launched on guard with a hand ready to pull out her gun. Ignoring the gesture, Hawthorne started to walk signalling her to follow.

"It is improper to converse out here. Let us go inside." She had no choice but to follow close to him noticing that he insisted on covering the two of them with the only umbrella(but still at the ready) as they made their way to the tall iron gate.

The walls were made of an odd mixture of dark stone and jutting brick. Every so often flickering gaslights that hung from old-fashioned-looking black iron sconces fitting stuck out of the wall, giving off a soft yellow glow that was easy on her eyes.

The place was something out of a creepy dream. It was the middle of the night and it should have been deeply dark, but there was a brilliant moon shining above the huge old oaks that shaded everything. Freestanding gaslights housed in tarnished copper fixtures followed the sidewalk that ran parallel to the huge red brick and black rock building. The mansion was three-stories tall and had a high roof that pointed up and flattened off at the top.

She could see the shadow of the enormous stone wall, which had a sentry at each block, surrounding the whole mansion and an iron gate, heavily guarded, as the entrance.

They walked in a somewhat awkward silence (to her at least, since he wasn't making any effort to blow the tense air away) and she was grateful for something else to ponder on when they finally reached the huge oak doors of his mansion. As it slowly opened, Riza was surprised her imagination was running amok. _What's behind this door? What's gonna happen next? What is he planning? What _is _wrong with me?_

She reluctantly followed him up the stairs and through the door and when he had stepped a few paces on his mansion's unblemished floor did he notice her stop a feet from entering.

She was soaking wet and he couldn't possibly expect her to put mud on his oh-so perfect castle, could he? Even knowing that she shouldn't care, the irritating feeling that she doesn't know how to act around this noble was confusing her. If he was just heartless then she would have cared less. If she knew he was actually a welcoming person then she wouldn't be so rude. But this guy was certainly something. One moment he's an incomprehensible mask of coldness and the next he was quietly, _caringly_ giving her his coat? How was she supposed to respond to _that_? Perhaps he was just being a gentleman being the noble that he is and she was just thinking too much.

As if reading her mind (about both the floor and his attitude), he told her in a tone that cleared the storm in Riza's mind that he actually is the bastard she was thinking, "Get in. Do not worry about the floor." He then called the girl by the door that she hadn't noticed earlier and she beamed in delight at being addressed, "Vera, can you please take her to her room and give her change of clothes?"

"With pleasure!" she grabbed Hawkeye by the wrists and literally dragged her away.

Surprised and uncertain of what to do, Riza threw a look to her shoulder to see Hawthorne's expressionless face watch them walk away.

"We shall talk later."

He seemed to say, the way she heard him gave the impression that his words were carried by the wind personally to her own ears.

Now clearly agitated, she was already certain he was no different from manipulating bastards pretending to be hot and cold if she didn't have to detect the solemn anxiety beneath the layer of uncaring words.

_Unpredictable bastard…_

* * *

"So, the colonel-"

"Corporal." Havoc corrected Fuery.

"Corporal. I can't call him that! He may have gotten demoted but… he's still the Colonel Mustang!"

The other man sighed, "Whatever you want. You were saying? The Colonel/corporal…?"

"Ok! His rank doesn't matter anyway because he's gonna be the Fuhrer soon, right?" Fuery exclaimed before dropping his voice lower, "But is he going to accept? Because this has been his dream…"

Havoc scratched his head, "Yeah, I'm wondering about that too. He didn't look very happy when he heard." He inhaled deeply, "That aside, we've been speculating about their decision of choosing Mustang. I mean he just dispatched Bradley and the country is, if not baffled, pretty much angry. Though he does stand a good chance after how he protected Central during the attack with his alchemy. And have you forgotten? He was promoted to Brigadier General after the act and he just suddenly asked to get down the ranks right after he recovered. So he's basically not demoted. He _asked_ for it."

"But why?" the bespectacled sergeant muttered.

"The man is strange if not mysterious. He's probably the only person who can answer that. We can only guess." Havoc cleared his throat as if preparing to bring up a new subject, "And he's still focused on finding the lieutenant, that much I'm certain of. Although I'm worried for the… choices that he has to make soon, considering which he holds more important."

Fuery shared his grim look, "Yeah. That would be a hard choice to make. I can't imagine why he has to go through this."

"Don't forget Hawkeye. Remember how she'd been while he was gone? I've never dreamed of living the day to see her so… helpless. It's not like I wanted to."

"I guess she really cared for the colonel, huh?"

Havoc stared at him for a long while.

"You need new glasses, don't you?"

The two were arguing when the door of the office opened and the tired form of the Flame alchemist appeared. Looking lost in thought, he stopped when he saw them.

"Chief, how did the meeting with the General go?"

"You look exhausted, sir." Fuery perked up, wide-eyed, "I heard you're going to be the new Fuhrer!"

"Havoc, Fuery-" he muttered before something seemed to jolt him as he snapped to a salute, "Lieutenant Havoc, Sergeant Fuery! I apologize for the intrusion."

It was supposed to be a hilarious sight but his two former "subordinates" only stared at him with open mouths. Both knew things were not meant to be that way.

"Um, at ease… sir?" the blonde smoker awkwardly answered. It didn't sound right for the words "at ease" and "sir" to be in one sentence, let alone be said to the man they had been working hard for.

"Is that really necessary?" grumbled Fuery "Let's just act like old times."

Roy could only smile sadly as Havoc asked, "Did you accept the position?"

The smile on his face melted a bit, "Kind of."

"Kind of? Oh come on!" he groaned, "Can't you ever give me a straight answer?"

"I think that's a yes… but he's not sure." inferred Fuery.

"Let's just say I'll let the public decide on that."

"I think that's a maybe."

"Fuery, you're not helping." The lieutenant interjected.

"Sorry. Just wanted to lighten things up."

Before Havoc could say a snappy comment, there was a knock on the door.

"Sgt Kain Fuery?" an officer peeked in the room, "Pardon me, sirs, but we would like to excuse him."

The said soldier made an upset face clearly not wanting to go anywhere at the time. With low shoulders, he followed after giving them a hasty bow to excuse himself, his face wearing the words: _but I don't want to go!_

Finally, Havoc and Roy were alone.

"Lieutenant Havoc, sir, do you mind keeping yourself from calling a corporal _sir_ and _chief?_" Roy tried not to laugh, "You've been calling me that ever since I returned."

"That'd be sweet," he sounded amused at the idea but then shrugged, "But damn, it doesn't sound right. Besides, the corporal's gonna be king of the country so I don't think I have the right to not call him sir_, sir. _And hah, you were one cocky corporal! Giving us orders at that time."

Havoc noticed Roy's grin falter for a second before they shared a chuckle.

"Back to the topic; you let the public decide? You mean they're going to vote? Holy cow! That'd be the first… democratic thing that's ever going to happen since the country became military focused!"

"Yeah, I don't feel comfortable just earning it like that." answered Roy.

"It's not that I have anything against you, sir, but why do you think they chose you?"

"Maybe they didn't have much choice." He chuckled, "The others are probably better… and I'm a _bit more_ better!"

They fell in another awkward silence before Roy glanced to his desk.

"Well, Lt. Havoc? What do you say we continue the search for our missing comrade before duty here calls?"

The smoker made a lopsided beam, "You're too unpredictable, sir."

* * *

"_I trust you can keep this a secret between us?"_

_Every second that passed seemed like eternity as she waited for her answer._

"_Okay."_

_Riza had to trust her word. In the end, she was her only hope there. "Thank you."_

_Almost unconsciously, Riza's hand lingered on the side of her skirt where she had concealed her weapon. She had to be ready for everything._

"_Will you be alright?"_

_The older of the two looked at her uncertainly, "I will. Don't worry. I can protect myself." __She answered, mentally doubting her own words, "But I'll be needing your help in taking those two back. I have no idea how but I'll cook something up. That earl better keep his promise… because I'm keeping mine."_

"_And if you yourself need help?"_

"_I'll be fine."_

"_You are always too confident I'm starting to worry."_

_Noa's words made Riza laugh, "Let's just say it is more of looking on the positive side of things."_

_She huffed, "Then you're very optimistic. What about the negative? Have you considered about it?"_

"_And you're very comprehensive. Don't worry too much, Noa. Not to be rude or anything but it's kind of strange to have someone new get… worried for me. I mean, we just met for a few weeks and you're getting bothered about people you shouldn't have concerned yourself with." And it was true. As much as she hated it, Noa physically reminded her of Ishvalans. And that someone was helping _her.

_Noa noticed that Hawkeye had apparently evaded the question as she herself tried to ignore the woman's latest statement, "You didn't answer my question. And yes, I want to concern myself to the people who didn't see me as a parasite. So what is. Your. Plan? Is it still '_I'm going to march straight in a stranger's trap as long as they get back' _strategy? Or are you going to count me in and plan something better?"_

"_You are such an optimist," Riza sighed, "I thought you aren't going to stop me?"_

"_I never said that. I said I'd keep this a secret between us… until they realize it. So now we're going to plan something."_

"_We don't have to. Besides, there is no time." The seriousness of the situation crept in her voice and Noa hated that she was right._

"_But…"_

_Riza faced her with a no-nonsense expression; a look that said the end of discussion. "Noa, I appreciate everything you're doing for us and I couldn't ask for more. But _I _have to do this by myself because it is our problem." The look of dejectedness did not mask the stubbornness of Noa, leaving Hawkeye no choice but to pull the last card that she had been dearly hoping not having the necessity to, "Okay. Fine. To assure you that I am going to be okay, I promise I-I'll meet you after a few days of meeting him. There, is that good with you?"_

_The reluctant look remained on her face but she eventually said, "Fine, since you're obviously not going to let me argue any longer."_

"_That's settled then."_

_She put her hand on the doorknob, "Good luck and good-bye, Miss Riza. But this won't be the last."_

_The sniper smiled ruefully. "This won't be the last." She whispered as she heard the door close._

_Seconds later, another knock rang. She opened it to see the younger Elric holding a tray of food._

"_Another visitor? Yes, Alphonse?"_

_He grinned, seeming completely clueless. "Dinner, Ms Riza!"_

_It was hard not to return the smile. After all, it will be the last time she will see him… and them._

"_Ah, thank you."_

Riza blinked in time to see a black cloth fly toward her head.

* * *

**A/N: **as far as I am concerned, the pairing remains Royai… BUTAdding a bit of spice won't hurt. *evil grin* so, yeah, I'm basically plotting something that's not-so special. My lips are sealed. :X

I'm also thinking about the political part of this fic. Let me say that I have little to no knowledge about politics (i.e. choosing the next leader of Amestris) so expect me to (hopefully not) screw up. By the way, Noa has her part so she may sound more talkative. In other words, she's breaking out of her shell.

Lastly, something fun to make up for updates that take long.

**Question: **what is Hawthorne's first name?

YEAH! What's not fun about that? (WTF, that's just shit!-reality speaking). Of course, let's not forget a valuable clue: For those who are reading this, I swear it's the first thing you ever saw before you got here. (Again, yea, I know there are like LOTS of possibilities but guessing won't kill anything)

And that is all! Thank you for putting up with my moronic nonsense!

~TaisaXChui~ … P.S.: Please click the blue words below. That's all I ask for.


	10. here and there

**A/N: **Sad. No one reviewed back there. But please do try to. At least take a guess for the question. T^T

**I do not own fullmetal alchemist and any of its characters, **Just the OCs and the amazingly not-well-planned plot.

* * *

"_You're not the man I knew_

_And I'm not the person_

_You think you know."_

* * *

The walk in the mansion's hallway was silent.

Vera bit her lip for the fourth time as the silence around them stretched, disrupted only by the echoing sound of their footsteps. She was a cheerful girl and living in a huge and rich house didn't please her very much. It was gloomy. What with the rain that day, the depressing aura only doubled. Though she was quite happy when she heard that the woman her cousin was talking about was coming, expecting that that certain lady was special. She frowned. The woman was also _gloomy_. Wasn't there anyone out there that could relieve this miserable household from its despair?

It was a disappointment to see them appear with her up on her guard and him, chilly as ever. What, was she expecting them to be lovers? As a matter of fact, she was! And she was too hopeful to dream for the impossible. She should have known otherwise. Her shoulders involuntarily slouched.

Her cousin, Lord Hawthorne, was a man of ice. She knew he was a caring man despite that, though sometimes she couldn't help but wonder where that kindness of his had retreated to. He had a heart of gold, she knew that, but there was this coldness of his that always seemed to cover him.

The curly-haired blonde glanced sideways to the adult. Riza had that far-away look in her eyes and half of her face was hidden in the shadows.

Vera sighed through her nose. And here, she was expecting _this_ woman would melt that ice.

* * *

They had stopped in front of the doors of Vera's room. The girl walked in and signalled the older woman to follow, though she saw it quite useless considering their _guest_ had been spacing out all the while since they were on their way.

The jets of water gushing from the sky had reduced to a light shower. As the tumult of rain hitting the earth died down slowly, Riza noticed how irrevocably quiet the mansion was.

The hallways were dismal despite the soft candle-light dancing from the walls. Though Riza suspected it was not because of the weather. She inhaled deeply. The house smelled good as expected of a well-furnished noble's home. One glance around and she knew everything there was expensive. The walls were of an elegant red and the carpet was made of velvet. It was the very embodiment of a Victorian home.

They had reached their destination before Riza knew it. Her thoughts were still drifting as Vera started to search through expensive looking cabinets. Throwing Riza a measuring look from her shoulders, a twisted smile crossed Vera's angelic face. The look went unnoticed by Riza who was still lost in thought. Pulling out a velvety black fabric, the girl sniggered to herself. Oh how that dress would throw her dear cousin off. After years of that stoic behaviour of his, Vera vowed that today, he would pay.

"Wear this for now!" she shouted loud enough for Riza, throwing it towards her. Not surprisingly, the cloth squarely hit the unfocused sniper on the face. It appeared to have pulled the woman back to reality as she made a startled jump, relieving the object from her face. Riza then realized it was a dress. But not just any dress…

"W-what is this? You expect me to wear this?"

"A dress, and yes, you have to wear that." She answered matter-of-factly.

"No way. Don't you have anything more decent?" Riza didn't care if she sounded demanding despite her generosity to give her a change of clothes. But there was no way in hell was she going to wear such stuff.

Her protests were left unheeded as she was shoved in some dressing room. The door slammed shut behind her with Vera's cheery voice answering, "Sorry miss. This is my territory. You do as I say and you're not going anywhere until you've changed into that."

Riza frowned. Was this the noble's idea of a joke? If it was then he sure had some sick humor. Pulling out the dress in front of her, Riza tried to think it wasn't so bad. But after seeing it for the second time, she had the urge to just flush it down the toilet. She proceeded to make sounds as if she were changing. At least if that could fool the girl into letting her out then she'd take her chance and escape. Then quickly settle the deal with the Hawthorne guy. Because for sure, they don't have the right to push her around when her side of the deal still wasn't complete.

She was about to take her time pretending she was changing when the girl spoke from behind the door. "Have you heard of the saying when in Rome, do as the Romans do?"

Her shoulders slouched. It would seem that the girl knew quite well that she was not doing as she was told. Feeling very miserable and having no choice, Riza dejectedly wore the despicable junk that was the dress.

So in the end, the girl was victorious. The black dress hugged her body perfectly and the slits on the sides showcased her legs. The sides of the gown weren't fully covered and connected the front and the back with criss-crossing ribbons. It looked no more than a gothic vampire's usual wear to Riza. Vera looked very pleased with her choice of clothes while Riza had the air of a woman attending a funeral.

"Of all the bloody clothes, tell me… why _this_?"

"Stop complaining! You look breath-taking!" She cried, eyes sparkling.

"I look like a slut…" Riza murmured.

"Come on, you have to let him see you!" Vera said excitedly, jumping up and down as she grasped Riza's hands.

"Wait, wait, wait…" Riza interrupted, suddenly suspicious, "Who do you think you are to tell me what to do?"

"Oh, My apologies! I'm Vera. Lord Hawthorne's cousin. And you are?" She completely missed Hawkeye's point as the older woman rubbed a hand on her temple.

"Riza. Riza Hawkeye." was all she said.

"Nice to meet you. And if I may ask," Vera lowered her voice and pulled Riza to her bed. Sitting beside her, Vera looked like she was going to ask some confidential girl stuff. "What is your relationship with him?"

The question startled Riza. What else does their relationship seem like? "Believe me, he's nothing but a stranger to me." She replied truthfully.

Vera was somewhat disappointed at this though she did not show it. But somehow, she kind of knew that was the way it was considering the time when she saw them together for the first time. She was pretty disappointed still that she at least expected something between them. Her cousin's life was dull after all.

That left to only one explanation as to why that woman was there.

"Oh." Vera sighed ruefully.

* * *

Edward and Alphonse Elric, fortunately, had put enough trust on Noa that they were currently researching to their heart's content without worrying about a certain Lieutenant's whereabouts. Noa, unfortunately, knew that that trust would soon be shattered when the time that they finish would arrive. Unfortunately again, that time would be arriving sooner than she'd like.

And she knew she was going to be in BIG trouble if she doesn't do anything.

It had been three hours since Riza left. Three hours of successful deception. But she couldn't possibly lie to the brothers forever. If they found out before Riza managed to get them back then they would surely attempt to rescue her- a situation that would completely ruin the plan. But Noa's role was simple. She just had to buy Riza some time, pretend that Hawkeye was there, and when the portal opens, she had to make sure Ed and Al were there.

"Noa, she's still in her room, right?" Ed suddenly asked, sparing a moment to look at her.

The girl cracked a smile, ". . . yes."

"We have to hurry and solve this circle. I'm sure she's plotting to escape so we have to take her back before that slimy noble gets his hands on her." Ed evaluated thoughtfully and with determination.

The cracked smile remained frozen on Noa's face. _Simple indeed._

* * *

Riza Hawkeye was never a fan of measly dresses. At that moment when she was making her way to the dining hall, she found herself grudgingly wondering how she ended up wearing one.

Gritting her teeth, she half-stomped and half-walked, trying, in all her might, to compose herself. If this was the bastard's way of testing her then so be it. She wasn't going to back out from their deal. But something in the back of her mind told her that it wasn't his intention. She might as well be calm, if it really isn't. She had to be ready for anything. Her hand drifted down her right leg where she had her only gun secured, feeling that the object was her only consolation.

Through the candle-lit corridor, Riza glimpsed the end of it which was brighter; an area presumably lit by a chandelier. And chandeliers that produce that strong a light were probably illuminating a large area –like a rich noble's dining room per se.

She leaned against the wall, noting that the shadowy hallway was perfect camouflage with her dark attire. For some reason, she'd decided to observe this mysterious man before hurling herself unprepared for his plans for her.

Then she saw him. He sat alone as his grey eyes were transfixed almost dreamily on the glass of wine that he was holding. He mildly brandished the glass as the liquid inside moved smoothly. The way he stared at it was almost like he tasted it without the use of his mouth. He set it down on the table and upon seeing the crimson liquid as if for the first time, he froze as if recalling a haunting memory.

Cautiously, Riza stepped out of the shadows. It took him a moment to register that she was actually there. He acknowledged her presence with a nod and upon taking in her appearance, his eyes widened ever so slightly; a reaction barely noticeable but went unmissed by the sniper.

"I see Vera had her way with you," he said while motioning her to sit with a wave of a hand, "though she overdid it. I know you're remarkable enough with your prim choice of clothes."

Choosing to sit at the other end of the table, Riza ignored his comment. But she couldn't help to think that it was not everyday someone complimented her. Even the Colonel who had simply called her "conservative" just because she was wearing what was most appropriate for her. But if this Hawthorne was just trying to get to her, she wasn't falling for it. Despite the fact that Riza sensed his praise was genuine, her guard was up.

"I'm here already. Now it's your turn to do your end of the bargain." She demanded, slamming a hand down the table which rattled faintly.

He was unfazed at the crude gesture and stared at her emotionlessly. "Sit down. We shall talk."

"We don't have time for that! They don't even know I'm here."

His cold eyes were unrelenting as they stared at her auburn ones. "We have plenty of time." His voice was calm but icy, "Sit.

Grudgingly, she sat in silence and waited for him to speak as a maid poured wine in her glass. Then she was given a plate full of expensive-looking food but Hawthorne had none. He did not look hungry for he merely toyed with his drink.

"Please do eat. I can assure you that is not poisoned." He told her in a tone that had anything but assurance.

"You're going to bring them back to our world as you promised. I have no idea what your intentions are but I refuse to do anything until you do that." Riza stubbornly said, ignoring both the plate and his statement again.

He seemed to expect her reaction. Poker-faced, he began, "Very well. Can you tell me then about their current whereabouts?"

Riza did not respond immediately. She had to see with her own eyes that Hawthorne would really transport the brothers back to Amestris safely. On the sudden inquiry, her suspicious side kicked in and she started to think that he might have had a different plan for them after all.

"You're not a murderer, are you?" a frank question but she blurted it out nevertheless.

The glass in his hand shattered.

* * *

"I'd like to know the public's opinion on this first."

It had been a week since Mustang was announced to be the next leader of Amestris. His proposal of letting citizens vote for the president instead was clearly unexpected both by the government and the people. But it wasn't a surprise when it turned out he was fairly unrivalled by any of his competitors. He was unmatched both by fame, power, and favor of the people. Everything he had done, especially the time when Central was suddenly attacked by rockets coming out of nowhere, combined with his mostly positive works were appreciated (hopefully). Despite his name swiftly having a low profile after the Elric brothers' disappearance, his re-emergence in Central was not left unforgotten. He protected his country and was naturally considered a hero.

It was a sure victory for Roy Mustang. But somehow, he stubbornly insists it wasn't right. And now, he awaited the soldier to speak.

"We took surveys, sir." The soldier said, raising his clipboard and read, "5% of the population are against it."

He paused, fearing the Flame alchemist's wrath.

"Go on." Roy ushered good-naturedly.

"Reason being: young, inexperienced, crime of terminating the previous leader and leaving the case unexplained, and. . . Unmarried."

The last reason caused some raised eyebrows.

"Unmarried? I've never heard of concerning marriage and ruling a country." Havoc guffawed.

"Apparently, sir, it affects the Fuhrer's image on the public and it also has great role in his duties." The soldier replied.

"Indeed." Roy agreed matter-of-factly, "Okay, men. Let's clean those up and prove them wrong one step at a time. So, who's with me?"

"Did you have to ask?" Breda said as the others nodded, "We're stuck with you until we find Lt. Hawkeye."

"Good."

* * *

The sky was already dark by the time Mustang and his team dismissed themselves.

At the absence of Hawkeye, Havoc appointed himself as Mustang's "temporary" (he emphasized) bodyguard. Of course Roy wouldn't like it considering the only person he allowed that much _intimacy_ is Riza and Riza alone. But knowing Hawkeye would never forgive him if he allowed himself to get killed (she'd probably want to kill him with her own hands), he had to let Havoc do the job seeing that even if he didn't trust Havoc to the extent he does to Hawkeye, he knew he could still trust the man.

And that was why the two of them walked together down the busy night streets of Central. Sure, Roy appreciated what Havoc was doing but that didn't mean he was comfortable to have another guy tailing him all day. Havoc didn't seem to mind it since he had more of the air of a good friend accompanying another friend home instead of being on guard.

"So, what about the last one?" Havoc asked all of a sudden, grinning like hell.

By the teasing look he was receiving, Roy assumed he was talking about the things required for him to be Fuhrer. Roy managed a smile, "Don't worry. I'm searching for her and when the time comes…"

There was silence for a moment.

"Havoc, go home. I've got something else to do." Roy stated, stopping in his tracks.

To his surprise, the smoker simply shrugged, "Fine, if you say so. See ya."

He turned to the other direction and Roy caught some of his muttered thoughts, "I mean it's not like anyone would dare attack you. Being the Flame alchemist and all…"

He watched as the blonde head soon disappeared from view. Stepping aside, Roy took some time to think around the bustle of people passing by and it was no surprise when his thoughts immediately went to his missing Lieutenant.

It was almost two weeks since she disappeared, for crying out loud, and it felt like years to him. Since that time when he was in the snowy mountains, he had felt how hard it was to be away from someone he loved (Yes, idiot, love. How stupid of him to have realized it a little too late). The time he was recovering was probably his most treasured time when he was still with her. And that time was what made him strong. He believed that that strength could help him through anything even if he were going to be alone. When the time came that he really ended up alone, he realized that his strength had left him. But it was just wrong since he knew that _he_ was the one who left his own strength. _He_ had left her.

He had never felt so miserable when he came back, determined to re-unite with what was his, only in the end, to inevitably fail to protect her and disappear from him forever. But he was going to make sure it was not forever and when he finds her, he will never let go again.

His eyes drifted to the crowd, watching them go about their business and not caring that one of them was slowly wilting inside because its source of life has gone missing. He knew deep in his heart Riza was alive. Just thinking of the possibility that she could be dead by then would kill him.

Out of the blue, he felt a very familiar pair of eyes watching him among the crowd. With a jolt, it dawned on him that the sensation was the same when a Hawk's eyes were watching over him but the difference of the one he was having was that it had a tinge of something his lieutenant would never have. It was a mixture of despise and reprieve.

Onyx met auburn and Roy felt his body freeze. In a flash, she was gone and that was when he felt his body move automatically after her. She instantaneously disappeared within the crowd but his eyes knew too well what they were in pursuit of. He shoved his way through the sea of people who glared and complained as he passed. But he didn't care. He was beside himself with joy. And he had no intention of letting her go just as he had silently vowed.

There was no doubt in his mind as he sprinted after her when she sharply turned to a desolate alley, probably hoping she had lost him. Never feeling quite so victorious in his life, Roy rounded to the same corner… and stopped. It was dark while the place was a clear dead end. The smile on his face melted. Riza was nowhere to be seen.

It dawned on him like the sensation of being swallowed alive that her loss might have already been pushing him to his edge. That perhaps what he had seen was a mere optical illusion or something, caused by his desperation.

_No. I know it's her. I'm sure of it._

Depressed but not beaten, he turned around to leave when something reached out of the shadows and violently pushed him against the hard brick wall. He didn't have time to resist for a long knife was already pointed menacingly on his throat, its razor-sharp blade gleaming with the moon light. But the expression on Mustang's face was nowhere near fear or anger. At first it was shock, however it gradually changed to one of exultation upon seeing the identity of his attacker.

"Hawkeye!"

Her eyes were filled with hard emotions that he didn't have time to decipher for her expression immediately changed to one of forlorn. She seemed to have come to realize something mere seconds upon the ambush for her grip on his collar loosened and the knife she was holding clattered to the floor.

"Shit. I forgot," he heard her mutter, "He's not him." Her pensive look became angry then blank again.

She turned to him with cold eyes. "I assume that you are Mustang."

The sentence confused Roy but it wasn't the only thing. Something obviously changed in her. A mixture of emotions welled inside him. No words were enough to put it more properly; this woman was his lieutenant and at the same time, someone he had never known in his life.

"Lieutenant. . . I'm so glad to find you." he whispered, joy overwhelming the rest of his thoughts. He tentatively raised his hand as if to touch her, taking a step forward when another knife was pointed between his eyes. Her face was emotionless as she held it.

The movement was unexpected by him. His eyes widened and he didn't move any further. Seeing that he got the hint, she withdrew her weapon. A cold smile was now on her lips.

"First things first," she began, stance relaxed, "you're not the man I knew and I'm not the person you think you know."

Her words sliced through him like knife to flesh (only it was mentally more painful). But for some reason, a small part of him knew what she said was true.

"What do you mean?" was the only thing he managed to say. Without a doubt, the person in front of him was Riza Hawkeye. But something was off and he couldn't place what it was.

"It means what I said." She explained, carelessly throwing her knife up and down her hands like a harmless toy. "But I figured you wouldn't understand that easily." She threw him a mocking glance that was new to Roy.

"A different world…" Roy mumbled out of nowhere.

She had an amused look now, "That was quick. But I don't think an alley's a good place to chat about this. See you tomorrow."

She turned to walk away when her farewell jolted Roy from his puzzled predicament. "Wait! Where are you going?"

"I'm going to find myself a hotel. And don't even think about following me." She added, looking sideways at him. Warning him.

"But-" _I can't let you go again!_ His thoughts screamed at him.

"We shall talk tomorrow." With that said in a tone that left no space for arguments, she walked away without even looking back.

And Roy was left watching the one person he swore never to let go again vanish from his sight.

* * *

**A/N: **My sincerest apologies to those, if there really are, who have been waiting for an update. The loss of review for the previous chapter kind of weighed me down but I'm not blaming anyone since it was clearly unsatisfying, not to mention trashy.

It took me this long so there is chapter ten. Need I remind you that Reviews are always welcome? And the question about Hawthorne's first name is still open until the chapter where it will be mentioned is out. Given that the clue I gave back there was obviously pathetic, I'll give another one: It starts with the letter "R".


	11. Prejudice and confession

**A/N: **Oh the joy of reviews. As customary, I would like to thank **mushimio92, to overcome reality, ratnalaurentina, and Kanamee** for the much appreciated feed-backs which, by all means, will help me update faster. Yes, thank you! And as for those who had no choice but to read this, thank you also. I think it's too early for any of my fics to have any fans but knowing that this actually has one is just . . . Wow. I can't tell you how happy I am.

And as customary again, the **Disclaimers **apply.

* * *

"_The look in her eyes contradicts_

_The words that leave_

_Her mouth."_

* * *

_Rays of the sun were clouded and the air, murky. Footsteps echoed in the distance, one desperate and the other hurried. Thunder and lightning made themselves known. The footsteps died then there was silence._

_The sky crackled. Drops of liquid gradually fell from the __gray__ heavens. The stillness only disrupted by the light patter of rain as three different pairs of eyes communicated wordlessly. It was decided._

_Black and burgundy met. The former held regret, the latter mirrored rancour. A gunshot reverberated closely followed by a despaired shout._

_His smile held no lies. His onyx eyes, dulling, stared intently at her pallid face. The raindrops turned to drops of blood and trickled down his cheek. Betrayal, whispered forbidden words, and before the world turned ultimately hollow, auburn forced itself to find meaning in his mortified grey depths._

_The memory distorted to a monochromatic mosaic; she contemplated at the bleak beyond, lips parted, eyes overcast, her golden hair drenched with water and splattered with crimson. Her lips curled to a glacial smile and mirthless laughter accompanied the song of the rain. The liquid that rolled down her face was undeterminably warm and cold. She never knew if some of those were tears or not._

_But the rain was heavy and relentless._

* * *

Roy had been going to HQ early, rifling through alchemy books and files for anything –_anything_- that would help him get closer to Hawkeye's site during the hours before the start of work. And today, he had come before the smallest hint of sunrise touched the sky. His search was laborious and with so little results. The array itself was other worldly and the symbols almost non-existent. But his patience never ran out for he always kept in mind for which he was doing it.

This time he arrived an hour even earlier in hopes of meeting the "Hawkeye" from yesterday as soon as possible. Be it his lieutenant or a doppelganger, he has a hunch that she was part of the puzzle. He was certain that the woman knew where to find him but just in case, he had left a note at his home telling he was going to be in his office lest she decided to go there first.

Instead of going straight to the library as his daily course since investigating, he went directly to his office and re-read his search's summary yearning that he might find a clue. The office, as expected, was empty save for him and he found it convenient for a little breather. Roy leaned back in his chair and closed his eyes, recalling last night's event to further scrutinize what he had found out. No matter how he looked at it, she still had the face of Riza despite what she said about him not really knowing her. She knew him that was for sure but how can she not be his missing lieutenant? Now the answer to that would be how _well_ he actually knew her. And she was also acting strangely. Maybe she had amnesia? It was also a great possibility. Then he remembered having said something about a different world and her having answered to the affirmative.

Her coming from a parallel universe was, by far, the most logical explanation for such madness.

He shifted uneasily in his chair. _Then what on earth is she doing in a place that wasn't hers? _Almost every sentence that she had said during their encounter was equalled with a question from him. He scowled. If she really wasn't Hawkeye then he needed answers. Fast; because he had to find her. _His _Riza Hawkeye.

Mustang then waited till his subordinates came one by one. She still hasn't arrived. The paperwork was given and they were starting but she was nowhere close. The sun was up, lunch break close, and Roy was growing uneasy at every passing second. His men had already left to eat and Fuery was on his way out but she still had not appeared. As if remembering something, the bespectacled soldier halted a step away from exiting the door to turn back to Roy.

"Aren't you going to lunch yet, sir?"

The addressed man looked at him groggily. "Later."

Fuery approached him with concern, "Are you waiting for someone, sir? I think we could help if we see them."

Roy appreciated the sergeant's offer but the one he was waiting for couldn't possibly be seen so easily. In fact, she would be the first one to find her prey among the crowd. He suspected her talented when hidden in the shadows. At the thought of shadows, he felt a cold shiver run down his spine. Someone was watching him from behind. It was a familiar sense of being watched although this time, there was cold hostility in them.

"No. she can find me easily."

Petrified and at the same time confused, Fuery was about to think that the Colonel might be going out with a woman that was not lt. Hawkeye when a recognizable female voice reverberated suddenly around them, icy and resenting.

"Oh? So you're tired of looking for her. And perhaps you're expecting her to find her own way back to you. At least that saves you a lot of trouble from achieving your self-centered goal."

The words were poisonous and Mustang swivelled around, ignition glove in hand, a wild fury on his features as he pointed at a woman who bore the face of Riza Hawkeye.

Roy had calmly regained his posture but with the slightest hint of being insulted in his air. Meanwhile, she stood leaning by the office window with an air of collected revulsion. _No matter what kind of world, he's still the same_, she thought.

Eyeing his enhanced glove, she made a condescending sneer. "Why don't you show me what you were about to do?" she said in a tone of mixed enmity and submission.

Roy ignored her challenge and took off his gloves. He had no intention of engaging in a fight with her but the ill-feeling he had sensed caused him to be up on his guard. From what he had observed from the little time he had known this woman, her blood was boiling and it was pointed at him.

Fuery watched them with his jaws open. _The missing lieutenant Hawkeye just materialized out of thin air!_ Unable to believe his eyes, he opened his mouth to say something when the rest of Mustang's team barged into the room, oblivious to anything until they caught sight of the new company. The noise died down and the quiet shutting of the door was heard.

Falman was the first to recover. "Lieu-"

They had hardly opened their mouths when a gun was pointed intimidatingly at their faces. Hawkeye was smirking coolly as she interrupted, "Before you jump to conclusions, I'm not her." She stated flatly.

Before the room falls onto another awkward and perplexed silence, Roy decided to finally talk. "Get to your seats." He ordered in an authoritative voice he seldom used the past days.

The men obeyed with questions unspoken but written over their expressions. The woman by the window watched them do so with her eyes like she was measuring their mere capabilities. She appeared Hawkeye from head to toe so how could she not be her was their thought. Though some of the factors that supported that she wasn't the woman they knew were the attitude and the attire. From what Fuery had already seen, she had some blasé kind of harshness about her like she'd been through a lot of hardships and from the way she talked, she seemed to have a bittersweet feeling towards the Colonel. She also seemed to be capable of inflicting bodily harm without a second thought while _the _Hawkeye knew just how to handle things without too much threatening required. And her clothes... Fuery couldn't help but be astounded.

She could also be considered deadly in terms of appearance. Her jacket was black and so were her slacks. Her shoes were heeled just high enough for running and her hair was the same golden touch. Her bangs was slightly longer that it could easily conceal half her face and the rest was tied back in a loose bun, with some left out and had framed either sides of her face attractively. Her appearance was stylish but professional.

Although her presence was a little intimidating, Fuery went forward and offered her a seat. He was aware that every eye in the room was watching as she raised her eyebrows at him. Then, very slowly, she gave him a somewhat authentic smile that he couldn't help returning. She accepted her seat like it really belonged to her as she told him, "I'm glad that there is still a man like you unlike in our world. Their species think of nothing but themselves; egotistical, avaricious and have god complex."

Mustang, though straight-faced, mentally wore a wry smile. _I was going to if Fuery hadn't moved first._

"So," Fuery warily began, "may I ask what you meant about you being not _her_?"

At this her smile stretched lazily as if pleased of answering it. "I think it obvious that every person has an equivalent in another dimension and considering this world is not mine, I would find the double of myself here. It is only natural that you'd assume that I am this world's Riza."

"So… You _are_ lieutenant Hawkeye!" Fuery concluded while he's rather baffled himself.

"No." Mustang spoke once again, twining his fingers together as he rested his elbows on his desk; a gesture he often adapts when going deep in thought. "You're not her."

The fact that he himself had straightened it out seemed to satisfy her in a different level. For a split second, he caught her expression that was torn between anguish and relief on her satirical smile which vanished as quickly as it came. "Precisely, Mustang! That pretty much leaves you back to square one." She said expressively, raising her arms in emphasis. "Then would you be so kind as to explain what led you to the right conclusion?" her mouth was curved upward in a way that reminded Roy of a sly fox as she addressed him, noticing she was determined to know the difference.

"Your behavior is very different from her," he answered thoughtfully.

"In which way?" she pressed eagerly with a hint of impatience.

He expected that she would want more specific answers in which he was hesitant to give. Roy sighed through his nose. He had to talk if he wanted her to talk. "She is more. . ." surprisingly, he trailed off, unsure of what to say. Now that he thought about it, they were not the same in a way that he couldn't quite describe.

"You're more hostile and unpredictable."

He had settled for the obvious. She wasn't really content with that but figured that she had to. "Oh" was all she said, the look of nonchalance slipping back to her face. Daring for another inquiry, she observed everything in the room, eyes lingering a bit longer on Mustang before she composed herself.

"Since I'm here and my alternate twin is gone, but _you're_ here, then she's probably dead. Is that why you were smiling? You seem happy."

If the one who had spoken such words had anything but the face of Riza, Mustang would have introduced his fist on the questionnaire's face. He instead took it as coolly as he could, wondering since when Riza's disappearance had made him look happy.

"I don't know what you're talking about." He answered truthfully.

_Feigning innocence because your subordinates are around,_ the unwanted thought cut across her better judgement but she tried to forget it, reminding herself that she was in a different world.

She hastened to explain before her emotions get the better of her. "Last night, in the streets. You looked like you were enjoying something."

Roy tried to remember what had happened that night and recalled Havoc joking about the last reason which some people wanted to see in him. He was referring to the marriage and without a doubt, both of them were thinking of the only person the colonel would want to marry: Riza Hawkeye. Roy tried not to redden, realizing that the object of his thoughts was just eyeing him a few feet away. Well, maybe not exactly but she was still Riza. Then another emotion nagged him: a laughable absurdity that she was thinking he was happy because the Riza he was looking for was gone when all along it was actually she herself that he was thinking of that made him smile. Just the thought of finding her to marry her fuelled him more so.

And judging from the skin-crawling glare -that was all too familiar, which is, he noticed, a remarkable first in terms of similarity aside from her fierceness and strength- that she was giving him, it was time enough for him to give a response. If he told the truth then it's practically telling everyone in the room that he _is_ in love with Hawkeye (what's more, one of them is another-world-Hawkeye but a Hawkeye nonetheless) he chose to answer deviously.

"Havoc and I were talking about proposing something to lt. Hawkeye and I liked the idea. It was . . . amusing."

Misinterpreting gravely, it caused the severance of the final string of her rationality until her supressed emotions flowed uncontrollably. "So you think it's funny to blow some stupid joke on her face like- like she's long passed her usefulness, huh! Or you're gonna tell her you don't need her anymore right? All that effort just to make her miserable!" all her composure broke as she partly yelled, erupting from her seat.

Everyone in the room stared at her, not expecting that all her calmness would break over Mustang's seemingly harmless reply. Roy was perplexed as well since it wasn't his intended reaction. Though he was trying his best to better understand what this Hawkeye was going through, it wasn't hard to think that her relationship with some other worldly Mustang was disgust and maybe even abhorrence.

"Miss Hawkeye, is it? Please calm down. I'm sorry if I said anything that offended you but I think you misunderstand me." He said politely. _She obviously has some issues and I will not be surprised if I'm part of that._

She stood motionless for a while then, as if remembering where she was exactly, she inhaled deeply and sat down again, composure regained. "My apologies." She told the wind. After internally repeating Mustang's line, she had to accept the fact that it was her who jumped to conclusions. She cursed inwardly. She had to get a hold of herself. It wasn't helping to let her emotions get the better of her when the one she was dealing with couldn't be the right thing.

"Now that you look fine already, I want to ask: Who are you, exactly?" Mustang inquired.

Even after her agitated outburst, she couldn't help sneering. Answers to questions like those were full of irony that she herself couldn't deny in a parallel universe. It was just too amusing to behold.

"Seriously, I thought you yourselves know the answer to that! And here I had to make myself clear first." She snickered.

Despite the supposed seriousness of the topic, Roy had to smile too. He had to admit that their conversation was getting quite amusing. "Definitely, but that's why I'm asking. So we would be clear about who you really are."

"I am Riza Hawkeye. Nice to meet you." she announced with a touch of sarcasm.

_I am shocked._ Roy thought in the same dry sarcasm.

His subordinates were still baffled. "Yeah. Who else would you be?" Havoc interjected frustrated, scratching his head, "Aside from the sudden change in fashion sense and a strange case of bipolar, who are you fooling; you're Lieutenant Riza Hawkeye!"

"Yes and no," Mustang stated sharply, "She is Riza Hawkeye but not the one we know."

"Can we please stop with the riddles?" murmured the smoker.

Roy continued, "You are from another dimension, correct?"

"Yes."

"What world exactly?"

"A rotten world."

Roy stared at her. Getting decent responses from her wasn't as easy as he had hoped. But he stayed patient. "Why are you in this world?"

Her mocking smirk diminished but did not vanish and her eyes grew solemn, "Ha. Funny. I don't know myself."

Understanding crossed him. He thought he knew just how she felt. The feeling of being lost and needing something- someone- to lead you to some direction. And it reminded him of Hawkeye. _His_ Hawkeye. Suddenly, he felt compassion for this seemingly heartless Riza. Surely she had her reasons as to why she acted that way toward him.

"Is there any other name we could call you? I don't mean to be rude but it just-"

"I understand." She interrupted him softly. It was then that he noticed she had finally relaxed and her tone had lost its edge. But he detected dejectedness within them. On her next sentence, he felt her forlorn double. "Call me Shadow."

"Shadow?" Mustang's men suddenly chorused.

She actually looked like she was suffering but she glared at them instead, frustrated. "Do you have to repeat it?"

"But why Shadow?" Roy asked with all the gentleness he had, noticing that she herself seemed pained by the name.

She stood and looked away. By the way she replied, she sounded disgusted, "It's my assassin name." As if she had had enough talking, she hurried towards the window behind Roy's desk, "I'm leaving." She declared in all finality.

At this, Roy surged off his chair and made as if to stop her. "Wait! Don't go! I still have a lot to ask!"

He sounded desperate and it made her stop. She looked at him peripherally without moving her head from the direction of the window. Shadow emotionlessly stated a fact, "About the other me."

He was aware it wasn't a question but he responded, "Yes." When she made no move to go yet, he figured he had not much time, "Do you know anything about her?"

She stepped on the windowsill and, looking truly disheartened, said, "Sorry, Mustang. I don't." and in a gush of wind, disappeared.

Ignoring anxious and worried looks his men were giving him, he collapsed back heavily in his chair. He planted his elbows on his desk and buried his face in his palms, thinking. She had left again and he had no idea if she were ever going to return. There were still questions he had about how she got there, which he figured would be useful because he could use the information to search for his Lieutenant but at least he was able to confirm the identity of "Shadow". If only he had uncovered a way to that other universe then at least he could have gotten closer to finding her. He gritted his teeth. And he didn't have that much time. The election was going to start tomorrow and if he became Fuhrer (which wasn't much of a problem) then, then he'd have to focus solely for the good of the country and nothing else. But wasn't that what they've been working so hard for? It is but he knew he needed her beside him. Badly.

His thoughts were cut short by the rather obtrusive knocking on his door. He hadn't given a permission to enter yet and before he could even raise his head from hiding in his hands, the intruder decided to invite himself in.

It was General Hakuro barging in like he was friends with at any rate someone within the room. From what Roy had sharply observed, Hakuro was a stuck-up, power hungry bastard; a description in which his connection with Bradley could support. Despite the election just about to start, it was a guaranteed win for Mustang and almost every person that worked in the military could absolutely see it would be so. Hakuro was also campaigning for presidency even though he probably knew by now that he stood no chance. But of course, being the conceited man that he is, he still went on. But even in that scheming little brain of his, it was without a doubt that Hakuro would still attempt to take more than he deserved even if it meant losing to Mustang. Just the fact that the General had the gut to show his face in front the Fuhrer-to-be it was utterly apparent that he was there to curry favour with Roy.

As he was known as the obvious next leader of Amestris, even those of higher rank than him had begun saluting him. He wore the rank of a Colonel yet he was being promptly treated like a king. But this Hakuro had the air like he actually stood a chance against him that he didn't bother with any slightest movement that would show respect. Roy had no concerns with shows of respect but it didn't do Hakuro any good in his eyes.

Roy stood like the rest of his subordinates to salute the General, stunning them as he did so. He didn't have time to address his superior (currently) for Hakuro started to guffaw. The forty-something man didn't even acknowledge the men still saluting him and acted like he was really welcome there.

"Ah, Colonel Mustang! How have you been?" he spoke cheerily that Mustang was tempted to raise an eyebrow at the General but refrained from doing so. "I just dropped by to wish you good-luck for tomorrow. You're a fine soldier but don't take it too hard if you fail. Remember if you need help don't hesitate to call me."

_Well, now, don't sound too cocky._ He eased himself and his men followed suit, knowing him well enough to see his cue for them to just sit down and watch closely. Deciding to be polite, he said, "I am honoured to hear that, sir." His tone was clipped and his face bore fixed civility.

The other man hummed as he walked around the room until his eyes fell upon an empty desk. He realized who used to own it and seeing her absence with his own eyes confirmed the rumors. _So Mustang's woman really is gone. I just don't understand why he had to waste his time looking when he could easily find a prettier, more feminine woman to replace her in his office,_ He wondered naively.

After the incident where Central was attacked by unknown forces, Hakuro, who had no role in the commotion, knew he had to take precautions because the Flame Alchemist was outshining him. He wasn't just going to accept that. However if he was going to be defeated, he was not going down without a fight. The General had paid special attention as to what Mustang was planning. Saying he was astonished was an understatement after discovering that the ambitious man that was his rival wasn't very competent upon knowing he was the closest to becoming the head of the country. It was until word got around that he was actually focused to something else. They said that after realizing that Lieutenant Hawkeye, one of Mustang's most precious subordinate, has died, a distressed Mustang sulked alone all day. Yet it was unknown to them that his muteness turned out to be planning inside his head.

Hakuro had no idea of this and simply thought that the Colonel was just depressed. That what led to Roy's desperate search of his subordinate was just out of frantic hope that she was only missing. How the General wanted to laugh. It would seem that the stories had overestimated Mustang's ingenuity. That the cunning young brat would be so easily put down by the death of one piece of his. Wasn't he aware that pieces like her were there to be sacrificed for his good? Why does he have to make a fuss over such trivial death?

Roy could see Hakuro observing his surrounding and when the General's eyes stopped on Hawkeye's desk, he did not like the feeling that he was getting. His dark eyes narrowed perilously and his mouth was a straight line. Something told Roy that he wouldn't like what Hakuro was thinking.

General Hakuro glanced at Mustang's grim face, noting the dark bags under his eyes. His raven-colored hair wasn't as shiny as it used to and his eyes were dull. He took this as evidence that Roy really was being overly emotional about Hawkeye's death. Deciding to take a risk, he checked by saying, "I heard about what happened to Lt. Hawkeye. Don't let it overwhelm you. You've been guilty about it, right?"

The Flame Alchemist's brows were furrowed and his eyes were fiery. It was apparent to everyone but the General that his opinions would not be the least bit welcomed. But being the idiotic man that he is, Hakuro mistook the expression as the initial shock of realizing his "foolish" actions.

Thinking that he was giving good advice, he went on. "Why are you being so devastated over the loss of a single piece? You're winning! Losses are not uncommon. Besides, everyone knows you've won so it shouldn't hurt now to lose her. I kindly advice you not to waste your time on searching for your useless lieutenant."

He finished and saw all of Roy's subordinates looking at him in both fear (in case he ended up dead) and fury. Before he knew it, a hard punch in the face had him flying backwards. He didn't have time to hit the floor for Mustang had grabbed him furiously by the collar his feet dangling above ground. Roy's eyes were dangerously burning with a face ready to kill.

"Shut the hell up, Hakuro. You know _nothing_." He growled in a deadly whisper. He released his grip on the older man's collar and watched him collapse down the floor with eyes that might possibly shoot fire.

Ruffled and unhinged, Hakuro looked ready to piss himself. He didn't need to look around to know that everyone else appeared ready to strangle him. Smart enough to discern that he was no match to an alchemist who could turn him into a living barbeque in a snap combined with four very capable men with guns of various sizes, he staggered to stand and ran for his dear life with the remaining dignity he had. He left with a few lessons learned. Two of them were 1) Do NOT mess with Roy Mustang, and 2) Riza Hawkeye is, without a doubt, not Mustang's weakness.

* * *

The sound of the door shutting was heard as they watched their superior breathe heavily. He had calmed down after scaring the hell out of the stupid bastard. The numb-skull certainly talked trash since he deserved fleeing like his ass was (about to be) set on fire. Roy definitely had had enough insult for one day. The incident with _her_ a while ago he could let it pass, but being insulted _twice_? Now why do people keep telling him things like that? He was sick of hearing it.

"I guess that proves you're not the womanizing jerk that used to steal my girlfriends." Havoc said and Roy looked at him, "Your loyalties only lie to one person."

"Havoc, for calling the Fuhrer a womanizing jerk and doubting where my loyalties lie, you could've been shot to death by court martial," he paused before nodding his head, "But you're right."

"And I'm wrong." Another voice added.

All of them turned to the window to see Riza "Shadow" Hawkeye leaning casually by the window frame. Her stance wasn't as hostile unlike when they first met. Roy sensed improvement on her part; an improvement that just might make them get along more comfortably.

"Um . . . how much did you hear?" Roy asked rather uneasily.

"All of it." she shrugged nonchalantly before approaching him, "I apologize for my actions back there. I had been holding the wrong belief about you and let it cloud my judgment. I would like to commence again."

He couldn't believe her hand was just outstretched like that before him, awaiting him to clasp it. He gazed at her face and saw resigned sincerity. She looked so ashamed but when he gave her a warm smile, she found herself smiling back. They shook hands like new comrades.

She shuffled back to her seat and Roy noticed another thing. If she had been so uncaring back then as to not feel tensioned around them, this time as she was gradually melting her ice she was acting like she didn't deserve to be there after all her behavior.

He didn't quite know what to tell her as she waited for him to speak. He decided to mention her sudden change towards him. He was aware that he had been misjudged but he was curious as to know her basis. Could it be that there is another Roy in her world? He was thrilled to know if it were true but that emotion of joyous wonder evaporated upon remembering Riza's initial manners regarding him. He felt his stomach lurch. Was it possible that his alter-ego had done something to earn the hatred of Riza?

"May I ask . . . why you seemed to hate me?"

After a moment of waiting silence that took so long he wondered if she heard him at all, she inhaled deeply and spoke, "I'm sorry. It's just that . . ." she unexpectedly sounded like it was hard for her to speak, "The one I knew was different from you. He's different and I . . . I hated him."

"Tell me." His voice wasn't pressing but soft.

He saw her glower at herself and looked cynical as she reminisced about memories she'd rather forget. It was without a doubt that she was struggling whether to tell more or not.

"You can trust me."

This time she looked at him disbelievingly before smiling ruefully. She snorted a laugh. "The last man who told me that betrayed me."

It occurred to him at that moment that she held deep bitterness to someone he could figure beyond doubt. "Is it… the other me?"

She nodded. "I was his subordinate as Riza is to you. The only difference between you and him was that _you_ truly cared." She gave him a small smile at this. "I felt that when we first met but you just had his face that I couldn't help thinking that you were just the same despite living in different worlds. I keep forgetting not to think like that. I'm sorry. But what you did just now and the way you acted when you thought I was Riza -this world's Riza- proves it. You really are different from the one I know."

Everything she said was genuine but he couldn't help noticing the sadness beneath her smiles. "What did he do to you?"

Silence slipped between them again. Some of his subordinates perhaps felt they weren't supposed to hear the private talk of theirs for Falman and Kain kept glancing at the door as if considering excusing themselves. Roy knew that no matter how interesting their topic may be even when they were also itching to hear it, they were similarly aware that they may be intruding too in case she didn't want anyone else to hear.

"I'm going to get some snacks. I bet she's hungry too." Breda reluctantly but voluntarily stood to leave.

"I-I'm going with you!" Fuery scrambled from his chair to follow the redhead.

Roy, seeing what they were up to, went along albeit the overtness of their plan of escape. He wasn't sure if she wanted it to be clandestine but decided to take precaution if it was the case. He addressed the rest of his team. "Yes, go and make us some, uh, tea—"

"No, you don't have to send them away. They can stay." She interrupted before a soul could exit the door. "I'm going to tell you everything I can."

The men halted and awaited their superior's order.

He nodded and gestured them to sit. They complied except for Heymans who remained standing.

"No one's gonna stop me from getting food." He said and left the room. Roy sighed. _I'm not stopping you. _Mustang then looked back at _Riza_ and waited for her to begin. And upon seeing that she had his full attention, she began in an emotionless voice.

"As I had said, I used to work for him. I trusted him and worked very hard for him. I entrusted him with everything I had, believing he would use his kind heart for the good of the people as he had told me. But no; he was doing a very good job at the beginning until he got closer to the Fuhrer." Her hands fisted yet her expression remained firm. "He said he _trusted_ me with everything but what did he do? He _fired _me once I was of no use to him any longer." Riza released a dry laugh. "After that, he wouldn't so much as glance at me as if we've never even met. I knew he was a smart man and he doesn't do things carelessly and without a reason but I wouldn't deny that I was hurt when I asked him to explain. I confronted him one night to explain what was going on. Guess what he said: "There's nothing to explain. You have to stay away from me. You don't know what kind of world you're getting yourself into and you're too weak to handle it." Then turning away from me like how he turned his back on my face, said, "Don't ever come near me again.""

She bit her lip and swallowed the lump in her throat. It was a wonder even to herself why she was telling strangers her story. Maybe she doesn't care anymore. It wasn't like they could do anything about it. It was also ironic that the man she was confessing all these too had the face of the one she believed she could never trust anymore. Only that concern in his eyes had her going on with her tale.

The door opened without warning but they relaxed when they saw it was just Breda with a tray full of delicatessen. "Sorry, Boss." He mumbled as he dumped it on Roy's table with him and Riza seated on either side. Riza stared at the mountain wide-eyed wondering if a single person in that world normally eat that much while Roy glared at his subordinate. The redhead sat comfortably back to his seat after grabbing a huge sandwich. "What did I miss?" he whispered to Havoc who sat near him.

"The prologue. It started pretty much the same with Hawkeye and Mustang working together and then their relationship started to get strained by the middle. We're in the part where the guy betrays her." Havoc whispered back.

Riza was silent and her eyes were closed. He could easily guess what she was feeling for even from the distance he could hear what two of his subordinates were talking about. Roy shot them a glare, instantaneously shutting them up. "Please don't treat Miss Riza's story like it's a movie." He told them in casual coldness.

At this, Riza stared at him in confusion. He was too kind for her to comprehend so she had let her guard down. Even if he were just (in case) doing that for his own gain, she really wouldn't care much. There was nothing he could do to her. Besides, she could kill him now if she wanted. Ignoring thoughts of murder, she talked, "I gladly did avoid him. I grew to hate him. He had become one of the Fuhrer's puppets and he had decided it on his own free will. The good man I once knew was dead and his agreeing to the Fuhrer's campaign to eradicate those different from them only proved he was a demon in human skin. Hitler wasn't the best leader and both of us knew that. But the next time I saw him, he was so devoted to him that he'd do anything for him. I realized too late that I worked for a man who only craved power."

She trailed off. Roy wasn't certain if she was going to continue because he had a hunch on what happened next. He was sharp and calculating even at times like these and Shadow's words, no matter how simple they were, contained so many conundrums that she herself might not even be aware of. "Where is he now?"

Her answer was unhesitating as she gazed hazily down her hands. "Maybe in heaven; Or maybe even hell."

He didn't ask furthermore but she could read the question in his eyes. "I'm an assassin, Mr Mustang. I was tasked to kill many victims after I was abandoned by him. It was my choice. He was my thirteenth target."

"So you killed him?" his tone wasn't accusing. In fact he sounded doubting.

She smiled darkly; An expression that never reached her eyes. It was full of negative feelings of satire whenever she did it. She was surprised upon noticing that Mustang suspected it wasn't her. "It's easy to assume that. But someone took that honor away from me."

Riza's eyes closed as he asked the next question. "Then who did?"

She opened them and he saw red in her auburn orbs. "Hawthorne."

There was another period of silence which no one but she had the nerve to start and end. "But it doesn't pretty much change anything. I wanted him dead and someone killing him for me wasn't very different. Though I thought it would be more fulfilling if he did die by my own hands. He betrayed me and had done evil things all for the Fuhrer. I promised to protect him and I'd die for him. It's just so surreal that now I want him dead. I can never forgive Roy Mustang."

His next question had her blood run cold.

"Why are you lying to yourself?"

* * *

**A.N.: **I do hope the length is enough to make amends for taking long.

I keep forgetting that Roy has an eye-patch so let's just say that he got rid of it for a reason unknown. Yet. So here, both his eyes were functioning properly meaning that the eye that used to be covered by it isn't really damaged. As for Riza (from the other world) Hawkeye's other name. . . Well, Elizabeth's a little over-used, don't you think?

I also need to point out something about chapter 2. It's supposed to be Germany but instead I wrote London. I'm slapping myself now, don't worry. It's a wonder why I'm just mentioning this. I think I lost my head when I made chapter 2.

And yes, as a final note, I know. This isn't the best chapter I've written but I am rushing things. My grandfather is in the hospital and I'm not thinking properly right now.


	12. loyal's betrayal

**A/N: **did it cross your minds that Riza is in the hands of the man who killed the Roy from across the gate? And what happened after the glass in Hawthorne's hand shattered? Haha! Things are going down and it's up to you to connect the dots.

Somebody's on the right path! Thank you very much to** ratnalaurentina** and **mushimio29** for reading and sparing me **again** another of their lovely reviews. I just love people like them. . . I would also like to thank those who are reading this, added RoH to their faves/alerts, miraculously added me as a favourite author, and those who accidentally clicked this story. Thank you! Yes, yes, I know. I need major improvement and that this fic is in dire need of professional help. Doing this on my own is hard and occasionally I'm not even sure what the heck I'm doing so if you know anyone who is willing to help, they're more than welcome.

**Disclaimer**: it's kinda tiring having to repeat this again and again when it's so darn obvious… but here it goes: **I do not own Fullmetal alchemist and any of its characters.** Just the OCs you find here and the pathetic plot.

* * *

"_She betrayed us_

_For our own sake."_

* * *

She was silent for a good ten seconds before answering him in an uncertain voice, "What do you mean? Are you saying you know me better than I do myself?"

He expected the reaction but he kept a calm face. Roy Mustang knew Riza Hawkeye like the back of his hand and her alternate was pretty much transparent to him by then. The only thing that she showed whenever the Roy-from-the-other-world was concerned was disdain but for some reason, the look in her eyes contradicted it on the other hand. He understood her need to turn away from reality because he himself did it at least once back then. By now, anyone smart enough could tell that truth can be cruel and this Riza's "truth" might have been too painful for her that she went all the way to twisting it. It wasn't good. Roy had to make her accept it or she'd be fooling herself forever. He could only hope she'd take the bait.

And to take she did.

"Let me ask you. Why did you protect him? Was it your own choice?"

"Yes. It was a path I chose for myself. I protected him because… because I believed in his dream and he was worth it," she hastily added, "back then."

"And why was he worth it when he just "betrayed" you in the end?"

"He was a good, smart man with a pure heart. At least that's what he was until he met the Fuhrer. He changed." Her expression was growing angry as she spoke, "He deserted me."

"Then what did you do?" he pressed quickly.

"I—" she couldn't possibly say she deserted him too. "I wanted to kill him. He was no longer the man I knew. He threw everything we worked for all for that bastard."

"Did you used trust his judgement?"

"Well, yes. Always." Her responses became uncertain, completely unsure of where he was going at, "Though he never really shared what goes through his head, his plans always have a purpose."

_Got you. _"Then has it ever occurred to you that he might have had a better reason as to why he fired you?" he was just sitting there, questioning her yet she felt like an animal close to being cornered; a moth attempting to outsmart the flame.

"Of course! He just told me he doesn't need me there anymore!" she fired at him in an attempt to save her resolve that was breaking under pressure. But he wasn't buying it. Instead, he was using her words against her. With what she had told him, it was like she had given him the gun to shoot her down. She was the cause of her own downfall.

"_**There**__!_ He had said. Out of the politics! He didn't want you stuck in something that will get you in danger, don't you see?" his voice was certainly rising as he reprimanded her. He'll even shout it if it would make her understand. But his tone lowered as he whispered to her very slowly, "He did that to protect you. And you know that all along."

Her unfocused eyes slowly met his soft ones. For a moment, she looked lost. However she refused to budge. Yet.

Shadow's eyes narrowed as she bared her teeth angrily. "How do you know? It's not like you understand!" she had stood from her seat and had her hands slammed against his desk. The action showed rage but all Roy saw was a lady torn between confusion and anguish, seeking for something that was once lost.

It irritated her that his gentle demeanor was not intimidated in the slightest. His eyes remained soft as he answered her in the same soft way. "Because I understand what he's doing and I did the same to protect someone I love."

Riza inhaled deeply, eyes closed as if she was nearly breaking. It pained Roy to see that withering expression on her face, especially now that she was another embodiment of Hawkeye. He had seen that look on _his_ lieutenant a few times back then. He was the only soul Riza had allowed herself to be seen in that state. She has been his pillar of comfort and power yet he realized too late how a weak tower of strength he had been for her. But there, in front of him was another version of her. Alone, her own source of life long gone. Only able to go on because of a nicely woven lie that will eventually crack one day. And that one day might be that very day.

"Then tell me… what is this anger I feel?" her voice was definitely shaking.

He looked at her ruefully. "I don't have to tell you. You keep saying he betrayed you but what I read in your eyes is "I betrayed him." And you couldn't forgive yourself."

"I still can't." she added in a whisper.

"Then you should." He barked in a rather hard tone this time. He could feel it in his gut that only he, if not his other counterpart, could make it clear to her. "Start now. Learn to forgive yourself."

"I couldn't protect him… He was dead. Dead! Because I failed him." she sank down on the floor, tears escaping her blurry eyes, "I was the one who should have died."

Roy stood and kneeled beside her, officially uncertain of what to do next. He looked around and remembered that his men were still with them, watching the exchange with sincere sympathetic faces. They caught his eyes and instead of receiving help, all he understood from their stares were, "_Well, Mustang, only you can comfort her. We'll leave to give you two some space._"

_Traitorous back-up!_ If the situation wasn't so dramatic, his jaw would have fallen to the ground. They were probably thinking that they were being helpful by leaving them as Roy watched them silently slip from the room. But when his gaze drifted back to the woman with tears in her eyes, he could not help but admire her. Even in her defeated state, she refused any comfort knowing the only person to be able to save her then was gone. _Can't I do anything else?_ Roy thought helplessly.

"No matter what I say, it will not change the fact that he's gone. But keep in mind that you are still alive for a reason." He began softly, reaching in his pocket for a clean handkerchief, "So you can't die. He did that to protect you. From something… something that he may have discovered."

She ignored the cloth being given to her. "Protecting people from the truth is another way of shutting them out." She muttered disdainfully.

"Then find out what that truth is." He pressed in a more serious way, "You're the only one who can continue where he has ended."

Riza's auburn eyes gazed at him as if weighing his words. Unexpectedly, she took the handkerchief from his hand. He felt relieved for it was a good sign. She stood straight up and rubbed her face with frustration. When he had stood too, she turned to him with a rather annoyed face.

"Damn you."

* * *

A whole day had passed and Noa witnessed a lot of things within it. Riza was gone and she had no idea where or what the lady was doing. She could only hope that her business with the man the other day was going smoothly. However, with Ed and Al still there, Noa thought that the odds weren't very much in favor with her.

She glanced at the window and bit her lip, trying to still her racing her heart. The sun was setting. It was not going to be good for her. The brothers would be back from the library any minute now and when they do, they'd surely find it suspicious that Hawkeye wasn't seen any time since that morning. And what excuse did she have? "Oh, I locked her up in her room." Well, hell. The woman is a soldier. With a smart brain. A kick-ass resolve. And a gun. What could a shiny doorknob do against it? "She's taking her time in the toilet." Now that's plain genius. Who in their right mind spends half a day in a toilet?

If she had the colorful language that Ed and some other people spoke in times of pandemonium, right now was the perfect time for her to use it. She chuckled weakly, the continuous stomping of her foot betraying the supposed stress-free laughter. Riza had told her she would be needing her help. Aside from keeping her whereabouts a secret, she needed to make them present when the aristocrat sends them back. But when would that happen? Surely Riza was smart enough to know that her maximum time was a day before the Elrics find out she had left. And when they did, her security would be put on first priority instead of the search and it would put her plan in total jeopardy. But now the sun had virtually disappeared from the horizon, time running out, and there was still no sign of Riza. She had no idea how they could possibly get in contact by then. She needed to talk to Riza. But how could they get in contact when . . .

. . . The phone began to ring. _The phone! It must be her!_ The former gypsy stared at the vibrating gadget four feet away from her, feeling somewhat foolish. In a flash, she stood by it and carefully lifted it to her ear.

She was met by silence. But someone was definitely holding the other line.

"Hello?" Noa spoke uncertainly.

"Is that you, Noa?" the voice was unrecognizable but feminine.

She swallowed. Should she say yes? "Who is this?"

Suddenly, the voice shifted to something more familiar. A voice that set Noa's haywire nerves at ease. "Noa, are you alone? It's me."

The girl was certain her own face was grinning widely at the table in front of her, "Yes! I'm alone. But they should be back any time. Are you alright?"

"Yes. I don't think he has any intention to harm me though but I'm always on guard." It would seem that Riza had changed her voice as a precaution when Noa answered the phone. It would be risky if someone else were to answer it. The sniper's tone grew serious as her voice fluently whispered on Noa's ear. "Listen carefully. When they arrive, I want you to tell them to go back to the alley where they first found me. You saw it had glowed and that they have to see it. Go with them but you have to make sure that at least one of them has their blood fall on the circle, do you understand? Their blood is necessary in order to activate it or else nothing will happen. When it glows, you have to—"

"We're here!"

Noa felt her heart skip a beat. Judging from the sudden silence from the other line, Riza must have felt the danger too.

Footsteps thumped at wooden floor in a distance too close for Noa's liking. If it hadn't been for the wall separating the threshold and the living room, they would have already been busted. But the wall could only save her for a few seconds. Five footsteps before all else could fail. She held her breath. Merely Riza's hurried yet calm enunciation kept her from dropping the phone.

"Noa, you are talking to one of Gracia's customers. . ."

_Step . . . step . . . step . . . . ._

". . . Do not panic and be cheerful just as how an employee should sound when talking to a customer. . ."

_Step. . ._

". . . It's just a harmless talk. . ."

_. . . Step. . ._

"Hey, Noa –" The barrier between them that was the wall ended and Edward Elric found himself looking at the smiling face of Noa, looking so happy as she spoke to someone on the phone.

"I really wish the flowers are ready soon, Dear!" a high-pitched voice coming from the phone shouted, successfully drowning out Ed's sentence. Noa glanced at him apologetically that he and Al could only assume she was talking to a customer from the flower shop. Nodding in understanding, he and his brother walked past her after greeting her.

"Yes, you can come get them early tomorrow morning." She played along, eyeing the two until the tail of Alphonse's coat disappeared from view. She allowed herself a sigh of relief. _That was close._

"They're gone." She whispered so low that the receiver was the only one able to hear.

"I still need you to keep the façade to be sure. But you really should just listen closely. Once the blood reaches the circle, it will open and when it does, they'll surely ask you to fetch me. That's the right time to drop the act. Don't give them the chance to leave. Push them inside it. And then it will be over." Clear, abrupt, and straight to the point, Noa mentally memorized the lady's instructions. Whatever else Hawkeye was planning, she had no idea. She could only wonder if her mind-reading ability would work through telephones.

"Now Noa, after I say good-bye, you will put down this phone and tell them to go there. That is when you will have to do the rest of what I told you. Bring a knife just in case. Do. You. Understand?" her tone demanded quick but confident action.

"Yes . . ."

Riza must have heard the nervousness which crept in Noa's reply for there was a pause on her end before she assured the girl in a calming character, unexpectedly switching from the swift tone she used. "Don't worry. I will be there."

She opened her mouth to say something but Hawkeye had quickly given her the signal. "Good bye."

The other line went dead. Albeit a little shaken, Noa put the phone down and gathered her thoughts. That was it.

She turned around to find Edward watching her from his seat, causing her to inhale sharply. The blonde raised an eyebrow at her reaction so she simply gave him a small smile to tell she was fine.

"Who was that?" he asked, sounding utterly clueless.

"Just a customer." She replied coolly, hoping the clever alchemist didn't notice the twitch of her hands

"Oh." He murmured as he drank in his mug. Just then, Al walked down the stairs looking puzzled.

_He noticed!_ Noa thought. But she doesn't have time to panic. A plan was given to her.

"Where's the Lieutenant?"

The dreaded question. But she countered it easily. "She's with Gracia. She said she wanted to see the shop."

"That should be alright." Ed supposed, relaxing on his seat, "Knowing Miss Gracia, she wouldn't let Lt. Hawkeye wander off on her own."

"That reminds me. You have to go back to the circle. I saw it glow when I passed the alley on my way to the market. It was the same when the noble showed it to us. The light disappeared instantly."

"What!" Ed shouted as he leapt from his seat. The brothers exchanged one look and ran outside.

Somewhat relieved that everything was going well, Noa made to go after them but stopped upon remembering one of Hawkeye's errands. She rushed to the kitchen and grabbed a small knife before following them, shutting the door with a crash.

* * *

Lamp posts aligning the street did little to give light for the passage in which they had turned. The corner was a dead end. Barely half the junction had the faintest sign of illumination and the rest was cloaked in shadows. It would be a mystery where gleams of light could possibly shine within that darkness. However, those beams of radiance could only be the rays of hope of people who needed it to alight their way back to their true homes. A trace that there was a hope to return to their homeland.

That night, three silhouettes appeared within that alley looking in between hopeful and desperate. The night was still and misty, muteness bounding throughout the streets. Two blonde heads approached the ominous insignia drawn upon cold ground. Its markings were still fresh as if it was newly imprinted . . . with hints of dry blood. Yet the three knew it had been untouched for weeks.

"There is something missing. The only object which we still don't know is the key to opening this." Edward explained as he circled the ring of symbols on the ground, investigating. Alphonse remained silent next to him, deep in thought.

"Blood." Noa offered like she'd known it all along.

The brothers looked at her, not expecting that she would know anything about a transmutation circle. The older Elric's eyes widened. "You're right! It could work. The blood will serve as the channel with which we could connect our gate from our world and then we can go through it!" as he enlightened, Noa could see them growing more and more excited. "I accidentally activated the circle Eckhart used back then. I completely forgot it! There must have been blood on my hands when I touched it!"

"It's basically human transmutation, then. But brother, what do we sacrifice?" Al admonished warily.

At this, Edward's expression contorted to one of analysing critical situations. "The blood might be enough. But if not, it can be risky."

"You have to try." She suggested without pressure.

"I guess so. . ." Before the former alchemist could realize that he had no instrument to draw blood, Noa gave him the knife she'd been holding. He muttered thanks, suddenly finding it atrociously fishy that something was up with the girl. But the moment his blood touched the circle, the thought was immediately forgotten as beams of light shone from it.

The brothers were astonished as they stared at the glowing ground in disbelief. The light didn't die unlike what they had seen back then which lasted for only ten seconds. It further proved that the portal was indeed activating this time.

It was then when it struck Ed that it might be their only chance of activating it before they lose it forever. Noa took a step behind him. Panicked, he turned to face her but her serene expression never changed.

"Hurry! We have to jump in there NOW! We have to get Lt. Hawkeye!"

She made no move to leave. "You should go!" Noa cried behind him, "This is what she wanted . . . what _we_ wanted for you both." Then she pushed them in the circle.

The last thing she saw as the light swallowed them both was Ed's wide eyes, realizing just what she meant before everything disappeared.

A blast of blinding light erupted before her. Seconds after, Noa slowly opened her eyes, venturing to see what happened. Her body relaxed yet her mind was racing. She stood motionless for a long moment as she took in her surroundings.

Darkness.

The street was desolate of anyone apart from her. Everything was still and nothing was out of place. The night was peaceful. Edward and Alphonse Elric were gone. And Riza Hawkeye was nowhere to be seen.

With a heavy heart, she's aware that she was utterly alone again.

She glanced around in the hope to see the familiar blonde lady that left just the other night. She saw nothing but the lone street light and her own shadow. The sky was still the jet black abyss that it is when the wanderer went back to her empty abode.

Farewells were always bitter-sweet. It was something she had known for a long time.

* * *

Up in a tower a few blocks away, Riza Hawkeye watched the solitary figure of a girl walking dejectedly down the street.

"It's finished." She declared.

Misanagi turned up several feet behind her, impassive. Vera was sitting close to Riza, also watching by the window.

"Who were those boys?" she turned to the sniper, eyes sparkling with curiosity.

"The ones I needed to bring back to their homeland." Was the flat answer. She nodded to Misanagi to tell that their business there was over. After a curt nod, the ninja fled again. With quick steps, Riza descended the stairs while Vera continued with her questions.

"They must be important to you if you had them return and you let yourself get stuck here. You could have gotten back home there if you wanted!"

"I have a deal to keep. And those brothers have loved ones waiting for them." they stepped out the abandoned building and into the quiet night, interrupted now and then by a certain blonde girl's prodding inquiries. She answered rather straight forwardly, having no reason to lie to the girl.

"And you? Don't you have loved ones waiting for you?"

It took her a second to respond. "No. It's not like anyone's waiting for me." Riza didn't like that her claim went out a bit too rough.

The comebacks she received were calm as she scurried beside Riza. Riza didn't need to look around for she could feel Misanagi close by but hidden, as is her style while they travelled back to the Hawthorne mansion.

"_What_?" Vera cried with an incredulous expression. "Surely there's _someone_?"

Hawkeye smiled darkly. "I doubt he'd even realize I'm gone."

* * *

The day wasn't any less exhausting for Fuhrer-to-be, Roy Mustang. Yet instead of his tired feet dragging him home as it would usually do, he was determinedly jogging to another way with his research notes in hand.

The conversation he'd had with Shadow right after her emotional break down was rather amusing and gratifying all the same. He noted that she was embarrassed at the fact that she actually cried in front of a stranger and she did a pretty lousy job to pretend she wasn't. But right after cursing him, she was back to the severe and sarcastic Riza-from-another-world that he had met –minus the I'll-kill-Roy-Mustang aura. Fortunately, she'd taken his advice even when she wouldn't admit it. With respect to her unyielding spirit, he was forced to _admit _that he had seen nothing at all.

And she also told him about Hawthorne, the killer of the Roy from her world. He was a noble who was mysterious and cold. She explained to him that Roy had called her; warned her to stay away from Hawthorne because he was a threat to the Fuhrer. And that if the Fuhrer found someone as a threat, he'd want them killed immediately. But no. Instead, she continued business with him. She knew that there was nothing wrong with what Hawthorne was doing. In fact, he knew the truth and it was probably the reason why the leader wanted him killed. He knew too much and with Riza getting caught up in it, she'd be in danger as well. She had told him she'd been too blind back then. Too obsessed in _killing_ Roy as if she could. When she found out Roy was assigned to kill Hawthorne, she was thrilled because she would kill him. And when Mustang appeared in the rain, she was unaware one other person there was clutching a gun. They were out in the rain, Mustang, Hawthorne, and her. She was bewildered as to why Mustang would stand directly in front of his prey but then it didn't matter. Her gun was pointed at him, loaded and ready to go off. One shot to end it all. She was the only one with a gun drawn. But her finger was trembling and she could not understand why it couldn't pull the trigger. She'd killed numerous people without breaking a sweat. Why couldn't she pull it then?

And Mustang, she had gone on and Roy heard melancholy there, a painful past, simmering just below the surface. His alternate from Germany didn't even flinch when a gun was pointed at him. He was simply staring at her as if waiting for the shot. Because he had known she wanted to kill him more than anything.

One gun shot and a body falling on soaked ground.

Hawthorne's gun was smoking as it was pointed to where Mustang once stood.

Riza had only stared at the two men, too stunned to be able to do anything. She remembered falling to her knees, eyes watching crimson rain splatter to the ground. Then she looked at Hawthorne. He simply stood there like an unfeeling statue, grey eyes as cold and empty as rain. Then she had trailed off with her story. All she said after that was Hawthorne couldn't be trusted or her judgment had failed her. That he had a heart of ice. That he'd kill anyone who opposes him. Then she quickly shifted to leaving. He knew they were in good terms now considering she left the office after a biting remark of, "You better find what you're looking for and take good care of her." she said sweetly, "Or I'll kill you."

Not a very promising farewell but he understood what she meant. He sighed. That was what he was doing.

He headed to the place where his precious Lieutenant was last seen with one thought in mind: _I will find you, Riza._ He turned the corner, completely unaware he'd find something else.

Roy was just a mile away from it when a jet of blinding white light shot from his destination. He felt his body freeze as he watched the edges of the circle blaze and as quickly as it shone, it died down. He took another step and didn't find it funny when he couldn't move again. Because there, among the afterglow of the transmutation, were two crumpled bodies lying on top of the other.

He saw blonde hair but it was too early for him to rejoice. The height blew away his initial suspicions. The first thing that came to his mind then left his lips before he found himself staring back to golden eyes. _Two _pairs of golden eyes.

* * *

No wonder his body felt heavy. Alphonse could hear his brother groaning on top of him.

The trip across the gate was too fast that before he realized it, they were already lying on concrete floor. In a very memorable road to top it off. Edward rubbed his head, aware that Al was just under him probably also dizzy after being thrown through an abyss in a mind-blowing speed. Too tired to even move for his brother, Ed laid still before he heard something that killed any doubt in his mind that they might just be in another different dimension in which they didn't belong to.

"Fullmetal . . . ?"

* * *

Great_. You're the last guy I see in this world yet I don't understand why _you _of all people should also be the first one we see once we're back._

The sarcasm that the Fullmetal Alchemist was about to say died on his lips when he caught sight of something he'd never dreamed of seeing. Even Al was at a loss of what to say. He could tell his younger brother wanted to comfort the bastard colonel but both of them saw just how beat down the man was. His eyes were distant and the strained smile he kept plastering on lips kept slipping off. Both of them could tell that Mustang was actually glad to find them but it was just a disappointment that Hawkeye wasn't with them. Disappointment was an understatement.

Disappointment didn't even cover the other half of what he was feeling. Right now, Roy was feeling a ridiculous mix of joy that the Elric brothers were back (Of course he cared for them. despite how his relationship with Ed appeared, he had grown a soft spot for them) and an undeniable sense of frustration at his naivety. But there was absolutely no anger. Just the naivety. He was convinced they were with her so he had known that they'd also return with her. It might be selfish of him but it was so natural that the first thing he'd hope to see was her. The thought was proof enough how he craved her presence.

But if they returned without her, he could grudgingly guess the reason. Within those seconds as he rushed and helped the brothers to his apartment, his mind was already crossing out which might not be the reason and before they even arrived, he thought he had it figured out.

Ed was surprised when Mustang didn't start questioning them right after having them seated on a couch in his shabby apartment. Instead, he went straight for his phone and called someone whom they didn't hear. Glancing around, the brothers noted how unkempt the room was. His seemingly untouched kitchen, shoes and coats strewn haphazardly on a corner, and the dusty bookshelves overflowing with books that some were stacked on the floor. Amazingly, it seemed that those certain books were the only ones looking neat so it was safe to assume those were the things that Mustang had spared his time to. For a man who was colonel-promoted-Brigadier general-back-to-being-a-colonel, it wasn't apparent that that small room belonged to someone whose stature was at least one of those, earning more than enough to buy a bigger and cosier flat – and even a mansion.

When he had finished the one-minute call, it was then that Roy started the interrogation. Both Ed and Al were willing enough to speak, knowing if they couldn't bring Hawkeye back then nobody else could. Mustang was their only chance.

He sat down on the sofa in front of them with an attentive air. Staring at them in the eye, he spoke. "Tell me."

The Fullmetal Alchemist nodded. He wasted no time and launched an explanation. "She was with us. And she's still back there. And it's because of _her_ that we're here. There was this noble, you see, and he was the reason she ended up there. He wanted to make a deal with her and because we are here, I can only say she accepted it. Dammit, I should have known she left."

"So she's alive…" Roy whispered. A look of uncertainty was shared by Ed and Al. They had never seen Mustang look so relieved. Almost immediately the relief changed to anxiety. After the first of his fears had been cleared, there came her safety. Fortunately, his voice did not crack with alarm as he asked, "What deal did they have, exactly?"

"He would take us back to our world –which is here- in exchange that she would be with him…"

Mustang didn't need to ask to know what happened next. Everything he had heard made sense, putting the right jigsaw pieces in place. It was Hawkeye's decision and he knew it. But it didn't mean he liked it.

Edward looked at him with disbelieving eyes. As his spoke, his tone mirrored his expression, "Your most loyal subordinate betrayed us." He paused as his words sunk in, "She betrayed us for our own sake."

_If she was more than willing then that might not be the only reason she did so,_ thought Roy. He refrained from clutching his forehead knowing it wouldn't help to cease the pain that started when conclusion after conclusion were unfolding in his head at break-neck speed.

"Colonel, believe me, we told her not to accept and we even had to make sure she stayed back home. But Noa… she was in on it too!" Ed was glowering and his hands were fisted.

Roy recognized the look of self-blame and knew that he had to make himself clear. "Fullmetal, I know you wouldn't let her so you shouldn't blame yourself. It was her decision." The moment the boy raised his head, Roy knew what he was thinking and went on before any of the two could speak, "And don't get me wrong. It's not like I liked her choice. I don't want her -and you two- stuck there. That's why I'm also looking for a way to find her. I assume she's not even thinking about getting herself back here." His last sentence tasted bitter on his tongue.

The brothers were astounded that he was able to deduct that much without them having to say it. They could vaguely wonder if the lieutenant and he shared one mind all along. "But, how did you know she didn't consent to it against her will?" Al asked.

Mustang blinked. But he didn't have time to give a response for there was a knock on his door. Three pairs of eyes turned. "Open it, Ed."

He did as he was told and froze upon seeing who was on the other side of the door.

"Ed…?"

Mustang was expecting the girl to hug Ed as Winry came into view. Al stood and to his and Roy's surprise, it was Ed who made the first move.

His face was certainly burning as he hugged Winry close, finding it suspicious that Al only joined in seconds after him when they could have hugged her at the same time. When they reluctantly pulled away, Roy saw that Winry looked close to crying.

"Idiots! Where have you been?" her voice was brimming with emotion as Ed scratched his head and Al made a short laugh.

"It's nice to see you, Winry!" Al told her pleasantly. Ed snorted; his own kind of agreement.

"I knew you'd return! Are you with Miss Riza?" at her question, the air of joyous reunion decreased and she noticed it. She looked from one face to another, waiting for a reply.

"She refused to come back, Miss Rockbell." It was Roy who answered her. Three pairs of astounded eyes stared at him.

"But… but why?" she sat down, not trusting her legs to keep her up. The brothers sat on either side of her.

He didn't answer and let the boys recount to her the story up until when they ended up back in the streets of Central.

"When Al and I were researching about the circle that took her there, I found it had similar symbols with the one Eckhart used when she opened the gate to what she called _Shamballa_." Edward stated, turning to Mustang, "She was the one responsible for the invasion months ago in Central. I knew I accidentally activated the circle but I didn't know how. Alchemy doesn't exist there. So I thought it was impossible that that man could have used alchemy without any help from someone who actually _understood_ and can perform alchemy."

"You're saying that his knowledge isn't enough for him to use it there?" the older man contemplated, "That someone else really caused the activation of the circle? But wait a minute… only you two would be able to do it back there. Hawkeye doesn't do alchemy so the question would be how she ended up in another world."

"The noble had said it was an accident that Hawkeye was the one to end up in the circle. Come to think of it, neither he nor Hawkeye can actually use the circle. I know alchemy so it would've been understandable if I were the one to have activated it. But in this case neither of them could perform alchemy so it's a wonder how the circle worked. He has the knowledge but it's impossible for him to do it and Hawkeye isn't even an alchemist so how the hell did the transmutation happen?"

Roy drummed his fingers on his knee, thinking. "How did you get here then?"

Ed and Al stared at him. "Through the circle in which we first found her."

"Surely it didn't activate just like that?"

"Well, no. We had to use… our…" Ed trailed off as it hit him, "Blood…"

"Our blood was the key!" Al exclaimed suddenly, "Because even when we couldn't perform alchemy, we were still alchemists! And maybe it's in our… I dunno, blood?"

"Yeah!" Ed agreed enthusiastically, "And when we found the Lieutenant, she was all… bloody too."

"Metaphorically speaking, that is possible. But the question remains: Hawkeye isn't an alchemist so her blood shouldn't have anything to do with it. Without the knowledge, how did the circle activate?" Mustang scrutinized.

Silence. They knew he was right. One needed the knowledge and should be an alchemist in order to be able to use a transmutation circle. They had never seen Hawkeye do alchemy. Unless…

"What if she is?" Winry commented offhandedly. When three wide-eyed men stared at her, she felt herself shrink and the need to defend herself kicked in, "I-I mean, she's a smart woman! It's not impossible for someone as intelligent and brave as her to learn it… I think."

Mustang didn't sweat when it was his turn to be stared at. Because everyone within that room knew he was the one closest to Hawkeye. He closed his eyes as they waited for him to speak. "I have no idea." Come to think of it, it wasn't impossible that she may have decided to learn it. Most probably around the time that he was up north. Because if not, he would have noticed it. But why? She has no reason to want to use alchemy. She did tell him once that she wouldn't need alchemy to kick his ass. Maybe she wanted to create something. No, she could have asked another alchemist to do it for her. Or maybe she wanted to find something? When he thought about other reasons as to why one would want to learn alchemy, he remembered that the Elric brothers had wanted to see someone again. To resurrect someone. He didn't like the feeling that he was getting. Who would Hawkeye want to resurrect? He recalled unwanted memories.

Her promise to protect him. The venomous words he had told her during Hughes' death that he didn't mean. And her question back then…

_Colonel, do you mind losing a subordinate in exchange of being with a friend again?_

He had answered her with an angered and shocked yell of "Are you stupid?" He had told her human transmutation would never work, emphasizing that her life wasn't worth Hughes'. Though he didn't tell her he couldn't lose her. He felt something within him shatter. She must have taken him the wrong way.

"Oh yeah, I wanted to ask," Al said, "How did she wind up holding a bomb?"

Roy felt his stomach knot. He knew without a doubt it was his fault. Everything bad that had happened to her was because of him. It was one of the reasons he had resolved to going in the snowy mountains alone, thinking she'd at least be free from the danger because of protecting him. She was supposed to forget about him. That she had anything to do with the bastard that he was. But upon his return, who was it that stuck to his side until the very end? And who was it that left alone to fight heroically on an unreachable place? Who was it that made the biggest miscalculation of his life? And who almost died protecting who?

The answers to those had been killing him. And he blamed himself every single day that she wasn't there. It was his entire fucking fault.

"It was my fault. She was fighting with me until I left her to fight with you guys. And she was down there, holding down a damn bomb that should have killed us if it wasn't for her." he quietly replied, leaning forward to rest his forehead within his entwined fingers, concealing half of his face.

The three young adults didn't say anything. They were aware that only Hawkeye herself would be the only one to convince him otherwise. But now that they were close to grasping the answer to bringing her back, they couldn't let him lose hope.

"Wait, who was it that she made a deal with? A noble was it?" Roy asked all of a sudden, urgency in his voice. Why was it that he couldn't shake off the feeling that there was more with the anonymous dealer?

Ed did not mention the name earlier for he thought that it was of much less importance. He just could not understand that the name seemed to alarm Mustang. It wasn't like he actually knew him, right?

"Yeah. He said his name is Hawthorne."

But upon seeing the man's expression, Ed had to be mistaken. He could only watch in bewilderment as Roy paled more and more until he was sure all the blood in his body had left him.

* * *

**A/N: THAT **was longer than I'd hoped 0_o. I can't say I'm proud of the way I wrote this chapter. *sigh* better luck next time. But damn, Roy and Shadow's argument was really hard to write. How to make her admit was a brain buster. And I had no one to even beta read this! I'm so sorry for myself. Thanks for reading and please leave a review!


	13. attitude in solicitude

**A/N:** Infinite thanks to **mushimio92 **for the encouraging feed-back! (TToTT ).. And I also want to thank **Hitori** for reading and leaving a lovely review. Both helped me a lot to make this chapter. Thank you, also to those nice people who alerted/favourite-d _RoH_. I pray for your continuous support, minna!

* * *

_Appearances_

_Can be deceiving_

* * *

"_You're not a murderer, are you?"_

Riza Hawkeye remembered asking him that simple question. She just could not comprehend why the glass in his hand had to shatter. She remembered his expression. His eyes had widened as he had stared at his hand that was coated with red wine. He looked like he was caught in a haunting flashback but to the untrained eye they'd barely catch his surprised expression.

_What's with him? These people are definitely odd, _she thought as she rolled to her stomach on the bed. She sighed heavily. Things had happened so fast she didn't know what to think about anymore. Hopefully by then, Ed and Al were safely back in Amestris. They should have reunited with their family, right? But knowing those two boys, they wouldn't let her live it down that they were able to return because of her sacrifice. Why couldn't they just be content for once? After all, it was just a small price to pay… on her part, at least. She smiled. There was no way they could come back to Germany to drag her back there. From what she understood and seen with her own eyes, the Colonel had destroyed the gate that was used as entrance by the people of this world. And even if they try to use the circle that brought her to where she was now, if it was still there that is, it wouldn't work. They could use alchemy, their blood, or whatever else they could think of trying but Hawthorne had assured her that that would only work if it was activated in this world.

But then, surely those two boys were smart enough to discern that they couldn't "rescue" her by themselves when they could hardly open a portal to get to her. Who else would they ask for help? A deep frown replaced her assured smile. Mustang, that's who. That couldn't be good on either side. _She's_ going to get used to life here. And _he _shouldn't waste his efforts on her when he should've been rebuilding his country.

She rolled again onto her back to stare at the ceiling. Mustang has his own business now so there shouldn't be any place for her in his head… much less in his heart. He had proven that when he left for that winter wonderland on his own. But she doesn't blame him. He had been through so much that any man would have given up a long time ago. She admired him for going this far but knew that one day, he'll eventually break down. Everyone has their own limits and when he reached his, she had made sure she was there to catch him.

And, by god, he was recovering! She just couldn't understand why he had to suffer all by himself. If he really was mending then he shouldn't let her disappearance pull him down again. Maybe he was better off without her. As much as it pained her to admit it, she still loved him and, unless he had already noticed it through her devotion, he will never know about it. He had to give up on her in order to move on. The gnawing feeling within her told Riza that he wouldn't do that. And dammit, she had to make sure he realized to _do_ just that!

She cursed before fixing her gaze on the ceiling with much concentration. She didn't want to think of him anymore. Their ties had already been cut since the day he left to go up north. To her, he had made himself clear that he didn't need her anymore with that action; not even bothering to leave one word to her before disappearing just like that. Her disappearance would probably be a good riddance.

Well, if no one was bothering about her then she ought to do the same. She was already feeling miserable worrying about someone whose mind pondered about anything but her.

Riza raised her legs to haul herself erect from the bed. She crossed her legs in a sitting position and surveyed the room in an attempt to distract herself. It was then that she realized she was in an environment that she had never dreamed of being in before.

The room was a little too well-furnished but she kind of liked the way it is. The walls were a regal shade of red that was gentle in the eyes and if one would look closely, they'd see flowers and leaves imprinted on it in gold and black. The utopian chandelier hanging above gave a soft glow that wasn't too bright or dimmed –just enough to illuminate the room with a mysterious air. Riza was even more stunned at the bed she was lying on. It was a queen-sized four-poster bed with a canopy of mixed cerise and frosty silver and honeyed white blankets. To put it simply, the bed was a grandiose lump of softness with a dash of crimson, silky white, black, and silver; an intricate mix but the bed made it look like it was the most normal blend in the world and it was pulled off splendidly.

Fascinated, she felt herself leave the bed to further inspect her whereabouts. She gazed up at the roses carved on the surface of the poster's wood in awe. Riza's eyes then fell upon the desk beside her as she approached it, fingers gliding across the soft fabric of her bed as she did so.

Then she stopped. Leaning against the bedstead, Riza gazed at the figure of a woman looking back at her. The mirror was reflecting the image of a scarred woman suppressing her pain in a mask of nonchalance. She was leaning against a bed in a room of grandeur and luxury almost as if she truly belonged there. However, her eyes told a different story. _Is this how it should be?_

A look of nostalgia made its way to her face. That castle, her bed, everything around her… Hawthorne had given her his word that she was free there, that she may do anything she'd want, see and go anywhere she wanted to. In a way, he had told her that that estate was now her home meaning she was part of it and when she's part of it, consider everything in her possession to be truly hers.

_This has to be a dream,_ she thought ruefully. Now that she'd realized it, everything seemed to have grown more surreal the more she looked around her. Knowing that that grand bedroom was hers, her heart wrenched. Back then, it had only been a dream of hers; to be able to live somewhere where she was free and was like in a piece of paradise. After all the sins she'd committed mostly against her will, she knew it would forever be a dream. It may become reality once Roy has achieved the top but things had turned to a different direction. She was aware of the huge chance that she might not be there when that happened but not being there in such a state was something she did not honestly expect. By then the Colonel would be king while she was in another world, the things she had once yearned for suddenly and unpredictably in her grasp. It wasn't the bargain she was expecting.

Unshackled by anyone, not even Hawthorne whom she'd compromised to work for, living in such dream-like luxury, and most of all, freedom. All of those she'd gained in a twist of fate. No, she was not expecting the whole thing in the least. She'd prepared herself for the pain—maybe a punishment or something or maybe even a much simpler change. But _this_? It was too otherworldly. Being stuck in another world was one thing she could understand but how in the hell did she end up _there_? Living in some castle in the air with her own queen-sized bed and a room worthy of some royalty? Did she deserve those? Apparently not yet she was still struggling to come to terms with the way life worked.

The only conclusion she could readily accept was the possibility that it was all set to give her a false sense of security and after getting attached to her state, a cruel set back would be awaiting her.

With her body and mind equally exhausted, she heavily fell back onto the bed and before she knew it, she had fallen asleep.

* * *

_You have _got_ to be joking._

"Yeah. He said his name is Hawthorne."

It had to be a coincidence. A terrible coincidence that that noble had a similar name with the man who killed his other self. And Riza Hawkeye was in the hands of such man with the same name. Surely the Hawthorne that Shadow talked about was captured or maybe even dead by then? Hawthorne had killed his other self. Certainly he wouldn't kill his _literal_ other self… would he? Hawkeye was part of him —his half. He would never be complete without her. As cheesy as it may sound, he couldn't imagine life without her. She had and will always have an irreplaceable part in his life. No, she wouldn't get killed.

The former colonel forced himself to gaze into the younger man's eyes, hoping against hope to see the mischief that he constantly found every time the boy was in good spirits; to find any sign that would prove that it was all one big cosmic joke – on him.

Honesty and confusion; He could not believe that the time would come when Roy wouldn't feel good about seeing those things on Ed.

_He isn't lying. _The crystal clear realization hit him like he was run over by a truck. He tried hard not to tremble and attempted to straighten his mind. Worry and mortification were killing him but he knew he would reach nothing if he would let those emotions reign over him.

He felt his body drop back against his seat, eyes unfocused. He could tell his hands were trembling.

Oh, the irony of life. Why on earth did she have to make a deal with _Hawthorne _of all people? That she just had to end up in the hands of the most dangerous man he'd ever heard of in that dimension? A humorless laugh escaped his lips. He slowly rested his hand atop his pale face before moving it to brush his messy hair, a broken smile dangling on his lips.

Winry, Al, and Ed stared at him with confused and worried looks. They could only hope the soon-to-be Fuhrer had not lost it. But if he did, they couldn't blame him. He was a man who had just lost his other half. Anyone in his shoes could have gone senile long ago. Roy must have expected the looks they were giving him for he gradually composed himself and eased to elaborate.

"Hawkeye's alternate is here and I just spoke to her a while ago." At this, Ed seemed to be giving him more attention. "I believe that she has come from there but I do not know what her plans are here. But what she did tell me was about her past. And what's just astounding is the fact that the name you've mentioned was also something that I heard from her just a few hours ago."

"Hawthorne?" Ed asked, discomfort flickering in his eyes, "What about him? I just know he's dangerous but… what did you find out?"

"Aside from being a scheming and unfeeling man, he killed the Mustang in that world."

"How—why?" Alphonse was looking as equally stunned as his brother. Even Winry looked like she was going to be sick.

"Then… then Riza's in danger!" she cried, voicing out the words that had been slicing Roy's mentality.

"We really have to find her." came Ed's urgent whisper.

Roy eyed them with unease. They were acting the way he really felt deep inside —panic. It was impractical yet unavoidable. He wanted to stay calm because he needed to think clearly but every time he thought about Riza's situation, the urge to tear out and give anything up-even all that they'd worked hard for- just to be with her again would hit him. Oh he could just die if that would bring her back.

His cloudy gaze rested upon the three people in front of him. Edward, Alphonse, and Winry; three childhood friends worrying about someone they barely knew. _They shouldn't be here, _he thought_. The Elrics— they've had their fair share of problems. They had hardly made it alive and now… they're troubling themselves with a conflict that only I was supposed to go through. Why do they have to concern themselves with other peoples' problems?_

_And Miss Rockbell, _his heart suddenly felt heavy as he thought about it, _she of all people shouldn't be involved here. The Elric brothers were her main concern and now that they're back, the three of them should be rejoicing. But now, they're here, caught up in another drawback that only _I_ was supposed to deal with. I am liable for the loss of her parents. She shouldn't be helping this murderer. She is meant to be happy now that Ed has returned! But no. I ruined it. They have their own life._

He gazed at them with gratitude and guilt. _This is a crisis that only I am supposed to bear._

They were talking of solutions and plans, completely oblivious to his thoughts.

"We should try the circle we went through. Dammit! That should work!" Ed grumbled with a hand under his chin.

"And the blood," Al added thoughtfully, "We should have higher chances of activating it now that we're in Amestris, right?"

"I don't know what you're talking about but I want to help." Winry declared.

"So, what's our plan?" one of them asked.

His expression was one of deep-thought as Al, Ed and Winry waited for a response.

"The plan," he said, looking at each of them in the eyes, "is that you three go and take a rest. Let me handle this from here on out."

Like the stillness of a land before a storm, the expected silence came and he steeled himself.

"BASTARD! Don't you dare make me use the words I used against her to you!" yelled Edward, "You're not the only one who cares for her! We don't _need_ your permission on this!"

"Colonel Mustang, with all due respect, we want to bring her back too. Don't think that you are the sole person who should carry all this!" Alphonse was obviously trying to hold in his anger.

"They said it all!" Winry cried, tears forming in the edges of her eyes, "I know this isn't a game but don't leave me out again! She is important to us too! I already told you I'd help."

Mustang stared with faraway eyes. "I understand that. But you three obviously do not see what help you'll be by being in my trashy apartment in the middle of the night, obviously tired."

There was a pause in which none spoke. And he knew he nailed them.

"He does have a point." Al whispered reluctantly.

"But he didn't have to say '_from here on out'_" Ed was giving him a hard look, "You think you have to do this on your own as punishment."

"Redemption," was all that was said in response.

_That may be but he didn't deny calling it punishment. _With a burdened and aggravated sigh, Edward stood from the couch and put his hands in his pockets. "Fine, but we'll be back tomorrow whether you like it or not."

He moved to the door with a surprised Al and Winry following behind. He heard them bid the Colonel good-night before they shut the door. There was no answer; and Ed wasn't expecting one. He had a feeling that the man would need his privacy.

* * *

Ten minutes after his apartment door swung shut with distant voices that seemed to have whispered to him good night, the young man slid from the couch and crumpled to the floor, trembling.

He leaned his head against the hard wall, letting the rain pour as his obscured vision darted to his left. His window was clear as he gazed at the bright full moon hanging amidst the peaceful night sky. How he envied the serenity of it.

"It's my fault she's there." He growled as he punched the wall, angry at himself. "Everything she did was to protect me. Even that final act almost killed her just to save me. I could have protected her, dammit! Why does she always have to do the saving? It was _my_ one chance of protecting _her_ but why did it have to go so wrong!"

Bowing his head as shadows covered his face, he stayed silent, thinking his words over—thinking just how much an idiot he was and just how much Riza mattered to him.

He wiped the rain from his face with an arm, knowing he was hopelessly drowning without his shade.

* * *

The world was tranquil when Riza Hawkeye opened her eyes.

The soft blankets that were spread around her looked utterly foreign to her but not unwelcomed. It was so comfortable and inviting that she did not immediately move from the unusually big bed. For a moment upon waking, everything she knew of during those years ago did not happen. There was no war in Central, no flying rockets, no missing Elric brothers, no Mustang wearing an eye-patch… just their still blissful ignorance of the complicated future that awaited them.

For a moment upon waking, she was just Riza Hawkeye; Amestrian soldier, sniper, and the most loyal subordinate of one Roy Mustang. She was just a woman who had woken up with dreams of the better future, worries for the safety of her superior, and thoughts as to how to make it through the day. There were no thoughts of what a noble is planning, no other dimensions, and no gypsy that could read minds. There was just the diffidence of what the day had in store for her, how to handle the paperwork, managing things that went about in the office, and pretending that she felt nothing as Mustang boasts about the many women he'd dated. Yes, that was how her life used to be. But at that moment, as the sun was slowly making its way to the horizon, Riza knew her life was changing.

For the better or for the worse, she didn't care. For some reason, she had never felt so empty before. It was almost as if she had lost every motivation to live. Maybe it was true. Because if it wasn't, then she would not be there watching the colors of dawn paint the sky, reminiscing the past that she had suffered, loved, and gone through and not making any effort to even try going back. She wouldn't even bother struggling because she knew that everything changes and things just could not stay the way they were. No matter what, she will be right there, pretending to blend in, with an utterly normal past and an optimistic outlook for what was to come. That was her plan. And she was going to live there.

…_but why?_ Her heart seemed to whisper against her mind. Why did she have to think about it so hard? Fate had decided already, didn't it? Why did she had to have doubts now; _now_ when there was no turning back?

Her hands that rested upon the bed fisted firmly, crumpling the sheets. Her heart may have known her loneliness but her mind already knew the reason and had long since given her the resolution—which was to go about every day in indifference, believing that she would get over the past that she abandoned—or did it abandon her?—eventually. However, her heart seemed unyielding upon accepting it. It was fighting for the belief that there was still hope and she _had to return _because someone was waiting for her back in Amestris. Back in her world where she truly belonged.

Riza pulled up her knees, crossing her arms over them and laying her head down on it. Damn, her inner emotion was too optimistic. Didn't she suffer enough both mentally and physically to know that life didn't work that way? She knew without a doubt that her conviction had already accepted the path she was treading but her usually waning sentiments seemed suddenly revving against her; that her normal rationality might have a chance of losing.

_It won't,_ her mind fought back. And Riza knew it was true. Because she was a rational person and with the life she'd undergone, she'd built walls of ice to guard her already bleeding heart. Because that was it… there was no turning back from the blind alley she'd chosen.

Unwilling to ponder anymore with her messed up mind and knowing she was a thread too-close to losing it, she'd resolved it better to leave the bed. Maybe exploring the mansion would hopefully keep her mind off of things… such as foolish misgivings.

The blonde stood from her bed and went to the exquisite cabinet which, without a doubt, belonged to her now. She had to change clothes because she might be in a different world but it's a general fact that women living in high-class society don't walk around in pajamas. Not that she cared about her image.

Trying not to do a double-take, she wondered why she had to be surprised upon opening the wardrobe. She'd learned to stop being astonished at so many things in that world and she was somehow already expecting that its contents weren't anything less to be astounded of. Yet it was still unavoidable that a wave of amazement would hit her. Everything within the teeming cabinet was filled with dresses and shoes of superfluity, all apparently extravagant and nothing less expensive.

She dug a hand through the pegs of upscale clothes, musing in what planet she had ended up in and if anything more normal—to her standard, of course—attire could ever be found within. The dresses, she saw, ranged from frilly to silky, from ribbons to glossy fabric, from black to white, everything was there. She tossed elaborate ones on the bed to make her search easier somewhat and at every throw, the pile grew bigger and bigger. The wardrobe wasn't even half empty yet she had grown tired by then. The soldier was about to give up when she raised the piece of apparel she was about to pull out. It had the color of lavender, long sleeved and reached around her ankles, with the neckline starting just below her collar bone. It wasn't overly elegant or plain but its simplicity was definitely charming.

Satisfied with what she'd found, Riza donned the dress while ignoring the pile of clothes she'd removed which reached to almost half her height. Though it wasn't her usual clothes, she figured it was not bad to try something new. And by new, she did not mean the one that Vera had her wear last night. She was by no means ever going to wear something like that again. The thought of such attire was making her miss her military uniform.

The morning sun was up by the time Hawkeye got out of the manor. For a magnificent mansion, she'd noticed there were few people there including the servants. As she had walked through the house, she'd only come across about four servants in the early morning. The four had given her a greeting of good morning in a way that they would greet their lord or lady. Before she had the chance to answer any of them though, they had already scurried off to do their daily toil.

"So I guess I don't have to worry about going somewhere and being disturbed," she muttered to herself. But the second she thought about it again, Riza started to question whether having time by one's self was a good idea. _Great. Enough space to think more about things I'm trying to forget. But it's not like I want any company._

She traipsed through the mansion doors and out to the garden, attempting to distract herself with the surroundings. Again. But she saw it was quite worth it. Although she had not seen the whole of it yet, she could tell the garden was very wide, containing different kinds of plants, trees and flowers. There was a maze made up of towering bushes serving as the walls with roses of assorted colors adorning it. By the hugeness of it, she'd thought she would never enter it because it seemed impossible to get out of. There were also benches and tables at some parts of the area which spoke of its time in the world.

_I'm going to be living here,_ she thought, uncertain if she was feeling riveted or apprehensive. Perhaps both since she was yet to feel any threat abound the castle- or mansion. _I'm living the dream._

Meanwhile, not far away deep silver eyes followed the Hawk's movements from above. His stance was one of complete ease however his eyes were predatory. Disquiet replaced the shrewd emotions of the man as he watched her stroll through the area with apparent fascination. Why he was feeling such way, he could not comprehend. He could not even understand what he truly felt at that moment. There was nothing really special about her and he knew he was only observing her for the purpose of his plan for her… but there seemed to be something about her that deeply intrigued him.

_I see her difference from Shadow; Two similar beings of different personas. _He continued to observe the sniper as if pulling out information from her through sight alone. It was not his method to interrogate someone and expect to get straight answers. It was just far easier for him to find them on his own. But Hawkeye… Riza Hawkeye of Amestris was a mystery; a mystery he was determined to solve.

Hawthorne's gaze fell on the chess board situated on a table behind him. The white pieces were arranged on their rightful places yet some members of the black assembly were moved as if someone was playing with it. Almost mindlessly, he took the white queen and stared at it. Then his eyes darted up as if sensing something. His gaze shot at the person standing in his garden and their eyes met.

_She has sensed me the whole time. _His cold mask automatically slipped back after his abrupt surprised look. _A sniper indeed,_ he thought, breaking eye contact and retreating back into the shadows. His footsteps were a hum as he proceeded outside his chamber, a thin smile forming upon his lips.

He descended the floor with the marble white queen split in half within his hand.

* * *

_He's been watching me._

With her remarkable poker-face intact, Riza went back inside, deciding it was about time Hawthorne told her how she was going to be of use to him. Not that she was looking forward to it. Whatever it was, it certainly wouldn't be pleasant. Otherwise she wouldn't be feeling that sick to be working for a seemingly heartless man who was nothing else but a mystery to not only her but also to the world around him.

Well, he was certainly going to be unreadable then she might as well do the same. Besides, impassiveness was her specialty. Military life hadn't been so hard with her after she'd learned it. People tend to take advantage of anything that they could squeeze out of others. This ability of hers helped Mustang greatly, though he never said he enjoyed it when she wore that unsmiling expression of hers.

She looked up just as he appeared on the grand staircase. As expected, he looked just as he always did: nothing but cold civility and indifference. _I'm not surprised that for a man as handsome as him, he still doesn't have a wife._ She watched him in silence even as he reached the last step, waiting for him to speak. When he didn't even bother with a "good morning", Hawkeye found it neither offending nor unanticipated. In fact, she'd much rather he didn't. It would definitely be awkward should she ever need to greet him back, someone she obviously felt wary about.

Apparently sensing questions building up in her head, Hawthorne spoke as he stalked past her, the firm clicking of his shoes reverberating against the polished floor.

"We shall talk about it after breakfast."

She didn't answer; merely followed him.

They reached the dining room and there wasn't anything least expected within it. She was going to get used to the high-class life there so it was about time she learned to stop being surprised with everything. The only thing—or person—that seemed surprised, though, was the young girl about to sit in her chair. Upon catching sight of them, Riza could've sworn Vera would have toppled off her chair if she hadn't been able to take a hold of the table.

"L-Lord Hawthorne?"

Riza snuck a glance at the man who was utterly unfazed with his cousin's reaction. He went to a chair and pulled it for Hawkeye, a kind gesture yet his air remained not-so-caring. "Please do sit."

Without a single word, Riza did sit, hesitantly letting him do as he chose. And as the nobleman strode to his own seat across her—and by across her, she meant directly away from her for they were separated by a lengthy table—Riza noted that Vera was watching them—especially her cousin—as if she had entered the wrong dining room.

Hawthorne was definitely ignoring his cousin as he halted and turned, addressing her.

"Do excuse me for a moment. I shall be notifying the servants about our untimely advent so as they should be able to deliver us our meals." His velvety and refined voice rang out. After a smooth bow, he disappeared once again.

There was a short instant of stunned silence in which Riza could see the young girl stare at where the noble had just vanished to. Vera was still wearing that look of hers that said "What the hell, I must be dreaming," that made Riza assume that Hawthorne was the kind of man who'd really rather dine alone than with any company, not even with his own cousin.

"He must be really interested…" even with such a low voice, Hawkeye's ever sharp ears heard Vera's murmur. She could only feel confused when a shrewd smile stretched the girl's lips as she had spoken.

"He eats alone regularly, doesn't he?" the lieutenant observed.

"Yes, always. He only dines with me here as often as the blue moon appears. And I, for one, am not expecting that that blue moon would happen so soon."

"I noticed that you have never called him by his first name. Why—?"

Vera cut her off in an outburst. "Well, yes! I don't even know his name! No one, not even his own mother, knew his name—or at least the name that he considers to be his. We may call him this way because of formalities, but we really do respect him; even if I knew his name."

"Have you tried asking him?"

"Er, no. Even if I had, I don't think he'd tell." She thought for a moment, "I mean it's not like he doesn't trust me. It's just… well, an unimportant secret to him."

"An unimportant secret, huh? His name must be special." Riza muttered with a dry smile.

Before she thought that they were going down to another silence, Vera suddenly asked her, "So, Riza, any boyfriends at home?"

Riza sighed. "I thought I told you, I really don't have anyone close to me. At least not to that extent."

"What? How can that be, you're very pretty! Maybe you're just being too stubborn."

"I did not have time for that. And even if I did, it wouldn't be important to me whatsoever. Especially since no one would really take interest in me. So it's pretty much hopeless."

"Oh yeah, sure, I believe you."

"It's the truth, and I won't bother to convince you when I know _you're_ the stubborn one."

"I'm not stubborn, Riza. It's called determination."

"Let me tell you something, then. You're using your determination on the wrong topic with the wrong person."

"Ooh, defensive. Seems to me you don't like talking about this kind of stuff."

"I simply don't have your desired answers on your impractical questions."

"And now you're saying you're speechless…"

Hawkeye, at this point, was trying her best not to let her annoyance show because if she did, then she was giving everything away to Vera. She let her eyes examine the fine wood of the table. "I'm saying that this is a futile conversation with me."

Vera went on as if she hadn't spoken. "You wouldn't even look at me. You must be guilty."

Riza raised her russet eyes until they met the emerald ones of Vera. Remaining utterly unreadable, she replied. "My love life is none of your business and is not important enough for you to know."

Vera for a moment looked smug to be able to have had Riza say something like that before that expression melted to one of incomprehension. "You love that man you work for-"

"You should listen to your seniors, Vera. I thought you were aware of that."

Both blondes turned toward the source of voice that interrupted her even though they had already known who it was without the need of seeing who had spoken. Hawthorne was walking back to their table, expression as blank as usual. His cold grey eyes were hard despite the stream of warm sunlight pouring from the windows he'd passed, painting the surroundings a soft hue as he stalked across it.

He seated himself. Within the next minute, three people strutted out with the air of dignified servants as they carried silver platters and laid it down before their masters. They left as quietly as they came.

The breakfast wasn't very interesting considering the three of them had eaten in complete silence. Although Vera looked like she was about to choke now and then when her eyes would frequently dart back and forth from her cousin to their guest. Hawkeye ate as casually as if she were just at home, not caring about any a chance that what she was eating so doubtlessly could be poisoned. Though she knew it wouldn't for they definitely wouldn't gain anything from her corpse. And if it were, she couldn't care less. Hawthorne meanwhile, was also eating as nonchalantly. He was eating like the aristocrat that he is while his eyes would gaze up from time to time to look around him. It was so easy to believe he wasn't someone who could be plotting something that could change a country's life.

What was a little awkward, though, was when he had finished with his meal. He had set his fork down almost as if it was untouched, dabbed his mouth smoothly, and leaned back on his polished seat… to watch Riza. Despite not watching him, Riza had always been aware of his actions through her sheer perception. And the uncertainty of how to place his gaze was unnerving for her. She had never encountered anyone so hard to read.

Before she reached her mental breaking point, she abandoned her breakfast, determined to confront him from his blank-eyed staring. "I'm finished."

He gave one small nod then stood up and walked from the dining room. She followed him, paying no attention to Vera's reaction. She was midway to scooping her food in her mouth when the pair had risen to leave, the fork clattering from her hand to her plate noisily that Riza thought the tableware could have cracked.

Through winding grand staircases, gothic glass windows, and long, silent hallways, he led her without speaking a word. The place felt so taciturn and their auras weren't of any help- it was all so chilly.

They stopped before a large polished wooden door. As Hawthorne turned the golden knob, Hawkeye assumed they were in the east side of the mansion. The door swung open and he stepped aside to let her pass.

It was a good thing that Riza remembered not to let her mouth hang open. The room was something she'd only visualized in novels she'd read. It was the kind of room she thought she could merely dream about, being a person who enjoyed silence, a good book, and a nice view. Shelves of books lined the walls and comfortable looking chairs and tables were there. And there on the veranda, one could see a good view of the city and the expansive garden below.

She walked by the shelves, gazing at books with fascination. Hawthorne, after shutting the door walked past her toward the table by the balcony, fixing something. "You may examine anything you'd like there but I hope you don't mind if we have a little game before that?" he asked her, motioning a hand to what she saw was a chess set.

"My purpose of following you is to know what you want from me." She replied sharply, taking mental note that she was there not for the room's interior design, the books, or a chess game.

He had already seated himself and had begun arranging the pieces, answering her as if expecting her response. "Yes, I was hoping to settle that while we play this game. It would be quite lacklustre to merely speak."

She took the seat across him and waited quietly. The fact that she had suddenly become pliant may have surprised Hawthorne. Whether it did or did not, he never showed it.

"White or black?" he asked her, grey meeting auburn unwaveringly.

"Black." She had contemplated whether to let him choose or not since it was unimportant but made up her own mind eventually. It had already struck her that he was the kind of man who could figure out things over seemingly irrelevant details. He could be testing her for all she knew. But why black? Most probably because she was tired of always playing around with light—with the good side of everything. And if he was going to be a villain, she just had to show him that two could play at that game.

She assumed that he must have also thought the same way with her one-word response for the ends of his lips curled upward for a brief moment. Gathering information over the simplest of gestures was something she'd learned long ago. She would even go as far as saying that it was one of her expertise. I had been the most used type of communication between her and Mustang, after all. But Hawthorne… he was a challenge to her. She had never encountered anyone so difficult to read.

And the board was ready, game ready to begin. "I shall start then." And he moved a pawn.

* * *

"You wish to know what my plans are to you, correct?"

During the first part of the game, Hawkeye had had the upper hand. But she had a strong sense that he was going easy on her. Not that she was saying she was a weak player; she'd defeated Mustang a few times back then and it was a feat in and of itself; but Hawthorne struck her as a very calculating man capable of thinking ahead of his opponents and ready to sacrifice anything to win. Why she was suddenly winning, she could only think, was because the game was a distraction for his underlying plot. He was probably letting her win for information.

"Yes. I don't see how I could be of any use to you. You are aware of my origins and if that has been your aim, you could have gone to it without my help since you obviously know things that I don't. And if it's about this world… I can't imagine anyone with a brain to go through all that trouble to get someone who knows nothing about that place- To use perhaps as bait or something." She explained ahead of him, moving her bishop which eliminated his queen.

"Close, but not quite." He said, his eyes moving from her to the board. "I see that you are an excellent player."

She watched him move his knight that was obviously intended to sneakily attack her lone pawn that was guarding her king. "You're mocking me, letting me win on purpose. I know you're better than this." She gave him a cold look which he returned with a forced laugh.

"Humble, aren't you? However, even if I am, I must tell you that you seem very talented in this field. You would be a difficult adversary to defeat."

"Adversary? You think I'm a formidable opponent?" a dry smile touched her lips as she moved a bishop in a useless position. She watched him do the same—a palpably pointless move even though they both could see an opening in each other's side.

He twined his fingers together, lips slightly curled. "The world is filled with mysteries; a lie, pain, laughter, vengeance, emptiness, questions, answers… Anyone can be anything."

She stared at his unreadable expression, fighting the confusion from showing on her face. He was too mysterious for her to comprehend just when she thought she had him all figured out.

She observed the board and saw that she still had the upper hand. She eyed him. He never truly paid attention to the game, not that she cared about it. But there was something in his words that was slightly unsettling her; whatever he was implying, she had no idea. The weight of it all was crushing her and suddenly everything was closing in on her. Riza swallowed then made her move. She was going to win this. She had to.

Hawthorne's hand moved and as he raised it, Riza felt her mouth go dry. She was in a checkmate—he won.

"You see Miss Hawkeye, appearances can be deceiving."

* * *

**A/N:**…And he was like 'I'm dying without you!', and she was like 'where do I really belong?', and they were like 'Hey, we're OOC 'cuz we're emos now!'….

…I don't even like emos. Unless it's some kind of chocolate.

Hooray for late updates! Mind you, I'm not ditching this story… of course, as long as I know somebody's still reading and waiting for new chapters. Just give me the hints that I need. I'm always hanging around , reading other fanfics and checking my account now and then. The only problem is my speed tho'. Time isn't something I'm rich with these days.


	14. Wins and Whims

**DISCLAIMER:** Roy and Riza belong to each other. Or do they? Ask Arakawa.

* * *

"_I want to be stronger than I was today_

_So that this voice will reach you someday_

_I want to keep walking, and when the wind stops_

_I'll look for you in the sky."_

_-Ray of light, Shoko Nakagawa_

* * *

"From what I had seen, you have no desire to put up a fight. You see a chance but turn a blind eye. You have _given up_; be it on fighting, on living… on _returning_. Why is that? Is there something you are running away from?"

The board had been put away and he had resumed his recent position of folding his hands together, effortlessly observing her in unreadable silence. She had been struck into muteness, too stunned with what happened to know what to do or say. Almost as immediately, she gathered her bearings and met his eyes with equal coldness.

"That is none of your business. You don't know anything." Riza refuted frigidly.

Hawthorne stood up, ominous smile still intact, and said in a tone that he seemed to expect her answer, "Very well, then." Giving her a slight bow, he retreated to the door. Turning to her with that strange semi-smile of his, he said, "You do not truly desire an answer as to why you chose to be here, correct? Then I shall be taking my leave."

Her silence and heated stare was response enough as the door swung shut.

Finally alone, Riza released a long breath, feeling as if she had been released from a pressing situation. She planted her elbows atop the desk and rubbed her face with both hands.

"Just when I thought I'm finally free from a man who thinks he knows it all…"

* * *

_You never know the true value of something until it is taken from you._

Roy Mustang raised an eyebrow. He was sure Breda only had good intentions when he brought the morning's newspaper to him. As a candidate for president, it was naturally his duty to know what was going on in the country's politics. But with his attentions split between Hawkeye's rescue and his campaign, it was easy to say which one his heart would be more into. So this was where his team would go. They were there to keep him grounded, even in Hawkeye's absence, to his original goal. They were already aware of his plan of doing both with what little time he had. As impossible as it might have sounded, the rest of his subordinates were there to help keep an eye out for him in the battlefield.

_But why the horoscope? _Mustang wondered pensively. For the last days, what Breda had been delivering to him were already summed down to the vital points of news where he must be concerned but that was the first time that a page with _horoscopes_ was folded along with it. And oddly enough, as if reminding him, he perfectly understood what his horoscope was implying.

He'd had enough guilt eating him about how little he'd shown his appreciation to her. But the one wrong thing about the horoscope and what others might probably be thinking was the fact that he had always valued her. It was simply made painful that he never had the chance to let her _know_. Or perhaps… it was because he simply let those chances go by.

He was a coward. He had so many regrets now that she was no longer with him. His stupidity was in such grandeur that he could believe that wherever Riza was at that moment, she had probably deemed that he wasn't even thinking about her.

Not thinking about her? He was worried sick he could swear he could die if he didn't find her soon! All the more reason for him to focus and get back to work. He folded the newspaper in time that two of his subordinates walked in; Havoc and Breda. Breda was noticeably scratching his head, looking for a certain page of the newspaper. Catching eye contact with him, the red-head opened his mouth to speak but Mustang beat him to it.

"Looking for this?" he asked in a not-so-questioning tone, waving the paper he'd just read that was out of place.

"Yeah, thanks, sir. Must've misplaced it… heh."

Suddenly the door flew open and a breathless Falman stood there, panting.

"Sir… G-General Grumman is requesting for you… in the… the Fuhrer's office…" he managed to say, looking utterly astonished. "Urgently." He added.

Mustang was already standing but was yet to move out. Instead, he eyed Falman's behavior. "Why do you look like you're gonna pee in your pants, Falman? What could it be about?"

Falman stopped short. Struggling to stop shaking, he stood straight and answered, "Uh… I think General Grumman would prefer to tell you, sir."

With a question marked face, Roy gave him one nod before exiting the room.

When he was gone, Havoc grinned at Falman with his unlit cigarette dangling on his lips. "I bet it's about the election. So, did he win?" his tone was joking but not in a way that he found his own statement unlikely. It was just the matter that it was a tad bit early to tell. Things as important as that were supposed to be announced formally after all.

"Actually, yes."

The cigarette fell from the smoker's lips as a stunned silence ensued.

* * *

"You called for me, sir?"

Grumman turned to face him and that was when Mustang saw the seriousness of the man's expression to the point that made him dread why he was called there.

Then it was abruptly replaced by an unsophisticated smile as Grumman gave him a mock salute.

Roy sweat-dropped. Just what was the old man thinking? The room was too dark for such a mood. The curtains were drawn, keeping out light. The only thing illuminating the room was the blaze in the fireplace to his far right.

Grumman chuckled at the dumbfounded look on Roy's face. "Congratulations Mustang!"

"…for what…sir?"

"Now, don't play dumb, didn't officer Falman tell you?"

"Tell me what, sir? He didn't tell me anything." Mustang asserted cluelessly.

Another chuckle. The old man seemed to be the only one who found anything amusing in his words. "Oh, yes, of course! I told him to let me have the honor of telling you."

Had it been any other time, Roy would have ridden along. But with a lot of important tasks at hand, he couldn't find the strength to tolerate lengthened beating around the bush. "With all due respect, sir," he began politely but in all dignity, "_what are you trying to tell me_?"

Thankfully, Grumman's expression became more sober when he looked back at Mustang. "Stop calling me 'sir'. You're the new Fuhrer, now."

For a moment, Roy just stood there with his mouth half-open. "I'm sorry, what did you say?"

Grumman waved him a dismissing hand as he made his way to his couch by the fireplace. "You heard me. You won your game. Now start packing. I heard you'd be moving in to your castle."

Roy couldn't see Grumman. Only the back of his chair and his balding head was in view. But his tone enough told Mustang he wasn't messing with him. He stood there for a while with neither of them speaking. When he was sure that he was really awake, Mustang began to retreat to the door. He paused then turned back to look at the back of his former superior. Bowing deeply, he said, "Thank you for everything, sir. I will do my best." And when he found no other words to be said, he started moving to the door.

"One more thing, Mustang." Grumman's solemn voice stopped him. He turned to look at him but the old man never turned to face him. He only continued speaking. "A king would always need a queen."

Feeling uncertain but understanding acutely, Roy slowly gazed away before muttering a "Yes."

When Grumman heard the door open then close, he smiled to himself, the fire burning in the hearth reflected in his spectacles.

* * *

Winning what he'd been striving for should not surprise him, but it was too surreal to be accepted too easily. Mustang let go of the doorknob of the General's office, different emotions stirring within him. Victory was good but somehow, something in his gut was telling him something was not right. First of all, why did Grumman have to be the one to tell him? It was not like he was on very friendly terms with the General. General Grumman had been neither friend nor foe to him ever since Roy worked for the military. The old man was always just there, on the side-lines, watching, observing quietly with that laidback air of his.

But this was military and power was concerned. When power was concerned, you could never truly tell whom you could trust. One shouldn't possibly expect that a quiet snake would not bite. And Grumman was not an exception. He did not know much about him unlike in the other upper echelons where everyone was boastful. Grumman had always had a low profile. But that did not mean it made him any less suspicious in Mustang's eyes. Despite not being one of the most famous, Roy knew Grumman was a clever opponent whose tactic was to sit still and wait for the weakest moment. Roy's repeated defeat in chess against the General would support that. It was true that Grumman used to give him advice, and even he had to admit they were helpful, but where Grumman's true loyalties and agendas lie were still in question for Mustang.

Second was the victory itself. Where would it put him? Would it infringe his search for Hawkeye? Being the head of the country meant undivided attention so it was a matter of choice. But how could he possibly choose? It was either Hawkeye or the dream they have been working so hard for. It was ironic, really, that on the long run, she was always there as he was blindly running after his own desires and now, when his dreams were dancing atop his fingers, she was gone and most probably could never be found. Was that really called equivalent exchange? Because it damn well did not feel like it.

"_One more thing, Mustang: A king would always need a queen."_

Grumman's words echoed within his brain. Why did it seem like everyone was hinting that he get married already? Was Hughes going out of the grave now? He knew his latter thought was not supposed to be funny but things just seemed to repeat themselves to him. Just why on earth were events reminding him about things that were practically impossible at the moment? Grumman never talked like that to him. What was he supposed to do? Certainly he wanted Hawkeye as his queen but with her presence unaccounted for, he had little to no time at all to search for her now that he was to stand on top.

Or could Grumman be possibly hinting that he needed someone _else_? He must have heard about what happened to Hawkeye too. All people knew was that she was dead. Grumman must have also been saying the same thing that Hakuro had been too insensitive to speak out loud; that he needed _someone else._

He bit the inside of his cheek as he thought about it. He had had enough of stop-looking-for-someone-that-will-never-return kind of crap. He had to find her and quickly. He had to shut the hell up those stupid cynics who had given up without even trying and he had to find her before his sanity got reduced to ashes… before time ran out.

* * *

Riza Hawkeye's second day was very normal in the other world called Germany; normal enough for someone who was not exactly from there, at least.

The whole day, Vera had cheerfully volunteered to show her around the mansion—a tour which took more than half the day. Hawthorne never appeared during the courses of breakfast, lunch, and dinner, not surprising Hawkeye in the least. Hawthorne struck her as the kind of man who'd never waste a single second in idleness.

However, after dinner, when Vera pulled her towards the rooftop for star-gazing, it was then that his presence was let known.

As she and the young girl took turns on the telescope by the railings, he suddenly appeared by the door then seated himself on the chair next to it before flipping open a book. For hours he stayed that way in silence, looking up every few minutes to watch them. When finally Vera began yawning, she dismissed herself and left the two of them on the rooftop. Before Riza could send him suspicious glares however, Hawthorne too stood up not long after his cousin's departure and bowed to her, bidding her a good night before leaving himself.

Her third day wasn't too different. Her whole day was spent with Vera and she was dared to enter the maze garden. Intending to gather information about Hawthorne and the unknown world she was in, Riza could only hesitantly agree to Vera, figuring that the girl would eventually have to answer her later.

What was not in her calculations, on the other hand, was the knowledge that the maze itself would be another problem. She was pretty sure she was lost by her seventh turn. She'd underestimated it. She could have even used a knife to slash through Hawthorne's precious garden if it meant she'd be able to find her way out. Luckily for him, all she had on was her gun with few bullets in it. Although when she did find a gazebo, she thought it wasn't so bad. She must be in the heart of the maze by then and took a break there. The pavilion was white with vines and roses entwining it. She went up to it, plucked a rose delicately, and gazed at it. She smiled. Was such a peaceful place possible? It was so deceitfully beautiful it was hard to think she was actually there and not dreaming.

She had been too lost in such thoughts that she had failed to notice the arrival of one such man. The slight widening of the man's eyes were the faintest sign that he was not expecting anyone to be there. For a few seconds he let himself observe her while she had been looking very fascinated with her surroundings. No longer had he been able to capture the softening of her eyes did she whip around, a gun steadily pointed at him. He did not flinch nor did his unaffected façade change.

"Hawthorne." The gun was away then but not out of reach as she addressed him. Oddly, she felt somewhat compelled to explain her circumstance. Despite the fact that he had already told her she was free to go anywhere, Riza was not just about easy to comply with such a favor full of holes for a stranger such as her. Besides, such location seemed reserved for him—detached just like its master—a picturesque and mysterious space hidden within a complex and somewhat intimidating environment. Understandable if he liked such place for himself since it was so fitting.

And a stranger that was her, losing her guard for a split second, essentially allowed herself the luxury of adoring it.

Not that it was in her to feel guilty when acting however she pleased in a villain's territory. Presuming he was one, that is. She wasn't the type to assume with so little evidence but whenever she tried to understand just what his aim was, his answers and actions were always tricky, making him neither an element of good nor bad. It was a headache whenever she tried to think of how she truly fathomed him so she must not be surprised at the awkward knot in her stomach at that moment.

"I… couldn't find my way out so I…" she explained with all her coolness, trying to casually move the rose on her other hand out of view. If he did notice anything, he did not show it, though she strongly sensed that he was merely letting it slide or found it of unimportance.

She moved a hand across the banisters of the gazebo, not meeting his eyes as she barely kept herself from stumbling over her words, "I found this and thought that I could take a break for a while… before getting lost again."

He moved towards the gazebo as if she had not spoken at all. He then started plucking off roses while she watched him in contained curiosity. Her mouth then slightly fell open when, after he had wrapped the bundle together with his handkerchief, passed her the bouquet. Before she had time to process it however, he took the next five seconds to all but casually throw the roses at her, causing her to catch it on impulse.

"The mansion seemed dull these days," he explained simply, striding to the north-west side of the garden.

She found that he was telling her to use the roses to adorn his place, a much unexpected proposal which she found either offending or amusing. For one, she was neither an interior designer nor his maid. Next, if he meant by "these days" as the last two days she'd been there, then was he hinting that his place had become (finally noticeably) boring because of _her_?; A laughable idea, if he asked her, since she was quite sure such kingdom of his had already been in such a state, if not worse, before she even arrived.

Riza raised an eyebrow, not amused. He stopped and looked at her in his unsmiling mien and she noticed that he was waiting for her to follow. She hesitated for a split second before following him out. If she wanted to get out of there then she obviously had no choice.

They walked, turning left and right sometimes and sometimes, just going straight ahead. Riza was having trouble memorizing their turns and, although Hawthorne seemed sure of what he was doing, she was starting to think that even he himself was lost. But he never spoke a word nor did he show any sign of discomfort.

When Hawkeye was going to officially consider that he, the owner of such substantial estate, was lost in his own garden did Hawthorne speak.

"That place… how was it?"

It was easy to dismiss that he was only muttering to himself since he did not address anyone and his eyes was focused ahead. But being the astute soldier and sniper that she is, Hawkeye could tell from the level of his voice that it was she whom he was asking.

"Not bad. It was beautiful, actually, and peaceful," she honestly replied.

He nodded in which she assumed was an agreement. When he did not say anything else, she asked, "Do you often go there?"

"Once a month— to check up on things. Though most often I go because it is somewhere where I can think."

"Was that what you were going to do just then?"

His response was delayed for a second and she sensed that even he wasn't even quite sure why he was there.

"Yes." Then there was nothing else he said. She was right when she noted that their conversations never last.

"As I was saying, I really didn't plan to stay there. I just happened to come across it and thought that it might have a map or something for this maze." _Riza, are you actually explaining yourself to a potential enemy? _She coughed, falling silent. She probably sounded stupid. Hawthorne didn't even look like he gave a damn. _I just want to get out of here and away from him, _she thought. He was unsettling to her and it annoyed her.

"The roses were nice. Though I don't know what you expect me to do with these." She gazed at the flowers she was holding. He couldn't have possibly traded Ed and Al's return just to have a new servant from another world? One who could clean his ridiculously fine manor and do interior design? No, she felt it was no laughing matter. He seemed intelligent and knew how to put things at the best use. But the question was what. What exactly could he want form her?

"I couldn't have possibly been dragged all the way out here to decorate your mansion," she murmured a little too loud that it reached his ears, making him to abruptly turn to look at her but not stopping from walking.

He looked confused before returning to his inexpressive self, but with a faint hint of amusement from him this time. He halted finally, unable to keep the surprise from his voice and eyes as he looked at her, stupefied.

"The roses? Oh, no. That was not my intention."

She mirrored his expression, equally confounded. "You said the mansion was dull. And, handing these to me, I thought you wanted me to do something about it."

He faced away from her, looking around, voice deadpan once again, "I did not say it necessary that you do something. I merely stated a fact and since those flowers are bound to die anyway, I have decided that it is better that they be taken with you to the house."

She gave him one final doubting look before dismissing the topic altogether. _If you say so._

"Lost…" she heard him say as he was inspecting the aperture of nearby walls of bushes from where he stood.

Riza couldn't stop the smirk from reaching her face. Even the most calculating man must have their days too. "Oh, what's wrong, Lord Hawthorne? Are we lost?"

"No," came his flat reply. "I was simply…" he cast her one look, "distracted."

He then strode to one corner that they had walked by around the time that he had faced her- one he missed because he had to talk to her.

Damn, he was mocking her.

The sight of normal sized grass and greens in open space was not unwelcomed as Hawkeye and Hawthorne emerged from the maze. The moment they stepped out, he had turned to her and with a slight bow, took his leave.

Scoffing, Riza eyed her surroundings, wondering where the girl responsible for her straying was. And when she did find her, she just had to feel stupid. Apparently, while she had been in the maze lost beyond hope, Vera was having _tea_.

After little denunciations from Riza and half-hearted apologies from Vera, they went back inside but with Riza refusing to enter any place in which a very delighted Vera would suggest.

Her third day was all in all, nothing extraordinary. Though another thing that surprised her later was the fact that suddenly, she was summoned back _into the maze_, something she was not so thrilled to accept. But since it was Hawthorne who had called for it, she knew she was going to go in the end. She still had business with him.

But what she wasn't expecting were the tray of teas and cakes waiting in the heart of the maze. From what she could determine with her slowly functioning mind (refurbishing due to the eccentricities of just about everything she'd encountered there), she was beckoned there for snacks. Snacks. Again, snacks. And probably some small talk now and then.

Both Hawthorne and Vera were there at the white gazebo which she had been admiring while lost beforehand and they were already seated; Hawthorne, sipping his tea and Vera, having trouble choosing which cake to eat. Vera was the one who looked up when she arrived.

"I was starting to think you got yourself lost again!" she teased.

"Isn't that the purpose of a maze? But no, I didn't get lost, thank you." The soldier fired back evenly, walking up the steps of the small pavilion.

Riza felt partly annoyed and truthfully, partly curious. Hawthorne wouldn't beat around the bush if he wanted something and from what she could see, he was the no-nonsense type of person—a complete opposite of the colonel in quite a few aspects. And what was causing her the mix of emotions was the fact that he was actually throwing something that looked like a garden party for an afternoon tea time. It was ridiculous, really, for a man of his calibre. This was something she honestly did not expect. Surely, it was just some minor step in his schemes?

She took a seat, throwing him piercing looks as she did so. He neither looked up nor spoke a word. The next instant, Vera was barraging her with choices of, what was without a doubt, expensive varieties of teas and cakes. Riza was by no means going to be humble about such offers, taking advantage of whatever she could. She thanked Vera in an attempt at graciousness as she accepted the delectable pastries, looking very promising in their sweet colors and charming appearances. For a while, she and Vera chatted and ate casually while Hawthorne sat there like a ghost. The situation did not change after a long time and Riza was growing anxious of knowing what was going on in his head. But still, he made no move.

Feeling close to resignation, she turned to Vera, intending to go on with her plan of being a bit more knowledgeable concerning the world she had ended up in. "Vera, tell me. How is this country? What about the leader and its people?"

"Crappy." She replied without much thought, earning a glare from her cousin whom for the first time was being somehow more responsive.

Upon seeing his expression, she gave him a derisive look. "Well, pardon me, dear cousin. It's unfortunate that my vocabulary isn't as fancy as yours." Seemingly pleased, she turned back to Riza, "Anyway, it's nothing special. Just chaotic. And we've yet to find someone decent enough to lead us. And I heard some guy's ready to make it big. He was arrested, right? About a month ago. I heard he was planning some coup."

Vera was apparently hoping Hawthorne would join in on the conversation, knowing that it was something that a smart person like him would prefer to talk about. Besides, Vera was aware that Hawthorne knew things; most that no normal people should know. But his uninterested façade was up when they looked at him. He obviously had no intention of answering her.

Vera made a face before continuing, "Recently, this country's just focused on war, no matter how hard they try to hide it and they… kill people different from them. Everyone basically thinks they're the best and wanted to prove it that way, I think." She paused thoughtfully.

"Why're you asking this anyway?" she threw Hawkeye a confused look before something seemed to occur to her. She sighed then rolled her emerald eyes. "Oh, yeah, you're a _soldier_."

"We need someone smarter to lead this disorganized nation! Power isn't a toy given to children so the people really should know who's got both the brain and heart for the job. And _you_ know that better than anyone!" she exclaimed with a grin and Riza noticed with surprise that part of what she'd said was for Hawthorne.

With a soft clink, Hawthorne put down his cup. Then he gazed at Vera whose smile gradually melted before she leaned back, defeated, on her chair. From what Riza could see, Hawthorne was still expressionless yet she felt the atmosphere grow more serious and there was intensity in his eyes.

_I said too much,_ Vera thought sheepishly, meeting his steady gaze with timid understanding.

Watching Vera, Riza noted that the girl gave him one look as if guilty she had said something she shouldn't have before she began picking off invisible crumbs on her dress. And suddenly, as if receiving some sort of signal or unable to take the suffocating silence, Vera leaped off her seat and with a forced smile, took off after declaring, "I'm- I'm pretty sure I forgot to do something!"

It was nearing sunset and she and Hawthorne were finally left alone. Hawthorne stood up and gazed out at the horizon, his face out of Riza's vision. All she could see was his shadowy back as he folded his hands behind him.

"You hold power in this country." She said, more of a statement than a question, looking down.

"Yes." She heard him answer though he too was probably aware that she wasn't asking it.

"My instincts are telling me that I'm somewhat related to that; that my purpose isn't as trivial as I'd hoped."

He turned slightly to look at her, a small smile tugging at his lips. "Your instincts are very keen, Miss Hawkeye. I commend you." When he did not say anything anymore, she dared for an inquiry, "And when do you plan to tell me what it is, exactly?"

"Alchemy," he simply said suddenly, catching her off guard. "What do you know about it?"

"The science of understanding, decomposing, and reconstructing matter, correct?" she replied, reciting the basic concept she'd repeatedly heard since childhood… since her childhood that was better off forgotten.

His face remained blank. "And do you perform it?"

"No. Why would I? I'm not an alchemist. If I were I'd have been studying your array to find my way out."

"And yet you did not."

She frowned, stare digging onto his relaxed back. "What are you implying? Aren't we being off topic here? If you wanted me to perform alchemy, then I must disappoint you. I don't—"

"I saw you reading the circle. You recognize symbols complex to a normal scholar."

"That doesn't prove anything. I—" she swallowed a lump that she never knew was there, "I've lived with an alchemist before so I would know a little. But that still won't make me an alchemist."

"If you choose to believe that then very well. It is not my place to force matters… personally."

Her gaze darkened. If looks could kill, she swore Hawthorne would long have fallen dead before her. There she was, going along with his whims and all he was doing now was provoking her. What on earth could he really want; it was not like pissing her off would gain him anything. She was not so stupid as to let her anger make her speak secrets.

"Personally? So you want that kind of talk? Is this a part of your plan? Tell you what, I have a dog and for your information, his name is Black Hayate." She fired. He had slightly turned to her at this point and he wore an expression that was neither insulted nor peeved. In fact, he seemed rather amused. "At least the dog's got a name! But you… I bet you don't even know your first name! Oh, I'm sorry. Am I getting personal?"

"Not at all." He replied, trying to keep the _slight_ amusement from his voice, "My name is Ray."

That made her stop. She looked at him doubtingly. "Really?" apparently, she did not believe him. Her face grew serious when she saw that he was not kidding. Leaning back, she crossed her arms, mentally swearing rhyming names. "That's… ironic." Her smile was humorless.

Whether he knew or was intrigued with her sudden change of air, he did not show it. And he was not letting the subject dwell on something he deemed trivial. He started to move away, saying, "Yes. It is nothing special. Which is why we should be getting back to business."

"Hm? That was business? Forgive me if I'm wrong, Mr _Ray_, but isn't it _you_ who likes to beat around the bush when acquiring information?" she pushed, now back to the taste-your-own-medicine Hawkeye. "Don't you just like to ask random questions? Now tell me, how long do you plan to keep up this silly charade? Because I am sick of being kept in the dark and toyed with like a puppet."

He smiled but it was a dark one. "We have our own secrets, Miss Hawkeye. Believe me, you would not want to know the rest."

She laughed, hoping to vex him further if she actually had. "Ah, so your name was actually a big secret? Truly Lord Hawthorne, you are starting to amuse me."

"As I have said, this is not what we are supposed to be talking about."

"No? Correct me if I'm wrong, but just a while ago, did I not suggest that we were being off topic because of your questionings? Was it not you who liked this kind of approach?"

"That is your supposition and I shall respect that. However, I do not like the particular direction that your questions are heading. Perhaps it is you who is at a loss."

She smirked. Damn Roy Mustang's tactics. It was rubbing off on her. "Exactly. And who is to blame? Maybe you can tell me. I'm sure you know the feeling of talking about something so irrelevant at the time when you need enlightenment the most. Like, maybe now?"

He walked out of the gazebo, paused, and then looked back at her with an unreadable expression. His mouth was slightly open, making Riza think that he was about to say something; something _important_. She did not move but only waited for him to say something. He neither moved nor spoke. He closed his eyes then pursed his lips, turning forward, he began to walk away.

She was left, feeling very wary yet hopeless and alone in the garden's gazebo with the sun gone from the horizon and stars beginning to appear within the spreading darkness.

* * *

"Mustang, speaking."

"Roy-san, it's Winry. I called to um, tell you that I borrowed something," Winry uttered nervously.

Roy wasn't surprised. It was a good thing she called. Otherwise he was just about ready to panic. Those were _important _documents missing, after all; documents related to one missing Hawkeye.

"The files about the other world, am I right? I believe you're with the brothers now?"

He could almost hear the perplexity in Winry's voice at how he could tell that much. "Yes. That's why I called too. I thought I should... lend them what you've already found out to make it faster for them- I'm so sorry, I should have asked you personally!"

"No, no. It's fine. In fact, I should be thanking you. I'm sorry for the trouble."

He heard a groan from the other line. "Mr Mustang, We're not going to fight about this again. I told you, this is no trouble. We're doing this because we want her back too-"

He interrupted her before she could start nagging, "Okay, I'm sorry. I'm just happy..." his momentary wistful tone immediately reverted back to his business tone, "Are they in the library?"

There was a pause. "Why do you know so much?" she cried in disbelief before answering more somberly, "Yeah, they locked themselves up inside. They were reliant on your notes at the start, actually". He then heard Ed's complaining voice in the background, cursing at how unreliable his research notes were. Then Winry's voice interjected, sounding in between amused and exasperated, "Oh come on. He's just saying that. Before, I heard him say your notes were very detailed and exact, making it faster and easier for him. I dunno why he's saying this now."

Roy leaned back on his seat, frowning. "That's good to hear. Though I hope they _do _find something."

"You mean you didn't find much here?"

"The things I told you back then were all that I could make out. I can't be certain that it's gonna be different this time but... I have to trust them. What they know from the other world should help."

"Yeah... In the meantime, I think you should focus on your work first. You _are _running for the highest position. Just leave this to us!" declared Winry with confidence.

Roy had to smile at this. "Thank you."

Havoc was watching him at the corner of his eyes and by the time Mustang put down the phone with a ghost of a smile hanging on his lips, Havoc looked back down at the paperwork he had been holding for the last ten minutes and began to wonder how things had changed around him.

It had been half a year since Mustang went away to the North, leaving Hawkeye and the rest of his team in Central. Without Fuhrer Bradley, he had to admit that Amestris had been more peaceful and wars somehow ceased despite the looming question of the Fuhrer's death and denunciations on Mustang's name. And that was to say that that was in a positive light. On a negative note, he could say that there were repercussions—minor, but still repercussions—in Mustang's team. Their team had been very efficient working together with Mustang as their leader, but for him to just suddenly back out… It was the one change that none of his subordinates liked. Only the higher ups who had been wary of Mustang's influence were the only ones happy about it. The only thing that remained the same, sadly for him, was the fact that he was yet to have a girlfriend.

_Just when I thought that Mustang would make his move when he had Hawkeye all on his own while recovering, _the corner of his lips curled up to a wry smile at the memory. Mustang had been badly injured after his battle with King Bradley and he had spent his recuperating days under Hawkeye's… care. It was one certain day when he and the others had managed to peek into Mustang's room where Hawkeye was (force-) feeding him. The moment when Hawkeye just shoved an apple into his mouth every time he said something cheesy made them crack-up, blowing their cover and stumbling into the room. That day they have been so carefree. Why did it have to go downhill from there?

His blue eyes shifted to his superior again and Havoc could see dark bags under his eyes. It was also noticeable that he had lost weight. Havoc chewed at the unlit cigarette on his lips. Hawkeye had looked exactly the same weeks after Mustang had left them. And the rest that happened to her was anything but good. She'd been so depressed that Havoc was sure she could have gone suicidal had he not told her that they have been keeping contact with Mustang. Hell, she was even hospitalized even though she was never attacked.

He pulled open the bottom drawer of his table, pulled out a folder, then looked at Mustang, contemplating if the time was right to show him. He thought again, thinking that as long as it concerned Mustang's obvious lifeline, there's no other right time but now.

Even as he was standing right in front of the man's table, Roy never looked up from scribbling notes. From what Havoc could see, on his left were papers about being the new leader and on the other side were documents concerning Hawkeye. It was either Mustang was purposefully ignoring him or he was too engrossed with his research to notice he was there. Havoc guessed that he was being ignored because he was too engrossed with what he was doing.

Havoc attempted an attention seeking cough and managed to sound like a man choking on a spoon. This made Roy look up at him, with a make-it-quick look of question.

"I think you might want to see this." He laid the folder on his table and Mustang picked it up with curiosity.

"What is this…? Hawkeye's _medical records_?" he almost shouted the last two words after reading the front page, flipping the pages within the folder which contained more than twenty pages of report mostly from months ago. "What happened to her? Did someone hurt her? These are just from months ago, why didn't I know about this?"

"You were in the North, sir. Naturally you wouldn't know anything. And Hawkeye wanted it to be kept secret, saying it was 'nothing to worry about. It's something insignificant'. So of course, we found out the others right after she fainted in the office."

"_What_?" Mustang was growing paler and paler as Jean narrated lamely. _Was it because of… me?_

_Of course, dumbass. When you were around, she was always in danger but never hurt because of you. But with you gone, her emotional health took a sky dive. You made her_ worried sick—literally_, _his inner, blunt mind told him. How was it possible that his absence would make her so beaten? Only a person madly in love with another could wither like that. It wasn't like Hawkeye was in love with him.

It was then that it struck him. He felt like he was being enlightened and there was something odd fluttering in his stomach. Could Hawkeye be… in love with him? Riza Hawkeye would follow him to the ends of the world. He didn't know it was possible for anyone to be that devoted until he met her. Was it possible that she had done all this because she loved him? It sounded stupid, but for a lovesick man, nothing was corny.

"It's nothing big, I think. The doctor said it was mainly caused by distress…" he grabbed a dictionary from Falman's desk. Flipping it open, he read: "Distress that is not controlled can result in physical and emotional disruption, illness, and even death." After he finished reading, Havoc shrugged, accusation laced in nonchalance.

Roy stared at him. "Why do I get the feeling that that's not in a dictionary?" Havoc pulled a troll-face. Roy exhaled loudly, resisting the urge to smack him upside the head. "I get the point. And it's my fault. So I'm going to find her no matter what."

He did not like what he had done to Hawkeye. He had hurt her in a way he never thought possible. He had expected her to be disappointed, angry even, at him. Perhaps a mix of both, added by the stress of everything, and with no motivation, it all whips up a perfect recipe for distress. Yes, to put it simply, he had made her a damsel in distress.

Boy, did he screw up. When she got back, he was going to make sure they had a long talk.

"Then let's get back to work. I've got a Hawk to interrogate soon."


End file.
